MCR fic
TITLE: And if you think that I'm wrong this never meant nothing to ya
CHAPTER: 6
PAIRING: Gerard/Mikey
RATING: A big fat NC-17
SUMMARY: Gerard has a confession to make.
DISCLAIMER: Totally real, and encouraged by Mikey talking about how he'd read fan fiction about himself and Gerard having 'relations'. How cute is that?
It's all big fat canon based lies (Except for the mention of Pete). Didn't happen like this.
WARNING: Look at the pairing. Enough said.
part one| part two| part three| part four| part five a| part five b|
When Mikey got to the kitchen the next morning after a shower, Gerard was alreay up making coffee and pancakes. Coffee at least, pancakes were already on the table, thick and stacked high on a single plate. He smiled a good morning smile and Gerard nodded, waiting until Mikey reached up on to the top of a cabinet to bring down the pill bottle up there, and took Mikey's wrist in his hand to stop him. "You want it later?" Mikey asked, head cocked to the side.
"No, just. Come have breakfast with me?"
Mikey sat at the table, Gerard promptly sitting on his knees and pouring maple syrup on the stack, rolling up the top pancake and holding it up for Mikey to bite. Mikey's smile was accompanied by a puff of air through his nose as he bit a chunk off the end. "You feeling okay?" he asked, chewing the sticky-sweetness and swallowing.
"I have a confession," Gerard said, expression unreadable as Mikey tried to figure out if it was bad or not. He just nodded to urge him on. From his pocket he produced two days worth of medication and placed them on the table.
"Did you? You took them from the-"
Gerard shook his head, "no. They're the ones you gave me. I wanted to try without them."
Just about holding back a smile, Mikey closed his eyes and slid his arms around Gerard's waist. "So, that's why you've been off? I was worried about you. Was gonna suggest you take a whole one in the mornings for a while. Or something like that."
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to see if I could do it, without you being disappointed if I couldn't." He sat back into Mikey's chest, threading his fingers through his brother's as they rested on his stomach. "But I feel... I feel fuckin' amazing this morning. This is like, the first day. The first day ever, and it's so awesome."
Kissing at his neck softly, Mikey whispered. "So proud of you, Gee. So fuckin' proud. You wanna mark it on the calendar?"
"Mmm, yeah. But," he held up some more pancake which Mikey promptly bit before Gerard could get it to his own mouth, "Hey! I was going to say I'd rather enjoy this with you first. But if I'm not even gonna get any..."
"Sorry, thought you wanted to share." Mikey opened his mouth to show off it's half chewed contents.
"That's gross, seriously," Gerard laughed, shutting Mikey's jaw with his thumb and a curled first finger, then trailing his thumb over a spot of syrup and leaning in to lick it slowly from the corner of Mikey's mouth, fingers splayed out behind his ear. "Sorry," mumbled against Mikey's lips.
He said simply, "don't be sorry," mouth open against his brother's for the first time since that first time, and tongue lightly tracing the line of Gerard's bottom lip before shifting him properly sideways in his lap.
There hadn't been anything more than chaste kisses to each other's lips, or falling asleep wrapped in each other's arms since that night; Gerard too afraid of being rejected until he cleaned himself up, and Mikey too worried his brother wouldn't actually want him that way if he were really clear headed. But as their kiss deepened, those worries and fears melted away in the same manner as their bodies melted together, hands gently holding hips and cheeks with soft sighs. When Gerard pulled back slowly his eyes were closed, bliss etched across his face-a grin from ear to ear. "You wanna mark the calendar with me?"
.......................
They used a thick black marker to draw a smiley face over the date, Mikey's fingers closed over his brother's as they moved the pen together. "August eleventh. A new start," Gerard smiled. "You're gonna help me though, right? I, I'm still kinda scared about all this. Kind of, a bit lost..."
"Gee," Mikey said sadly, turning Gerard around to face him. "You don't even have to ask. I'll always be here for you. Whatever you need, it's yours."
"Just you. I just need you."
Mikey laughed and swatted at Gerard's shoulder. "Don't be such a girl, bro. Ya got me, okay? Always. So before one of us starts crying, what do you feel like doing today?"
Gerard rolled his eyes and left Mikey there so he could start washing up their breakfast plate and things from the night before. "You'd be the one to cry. Not me," he said knowingly, watching the basin fill with suds. "How 'bout nothing? Absolutely nothing."
Mikey waited for Gerard to get his hands in the warm water before standing right up behind him and rubbing at his shoulders and neck, massaging them gently. "I don't think you're capable of doing absolutely nothing." Gerard sighed, relaxing like Mikey wanted him to, leaning back against him. And when he reached out to put a plate on the rack to dry, Mikey snaked his arms down around Gerard's middle and took the sponge, taking over washing the last few things without protest from his brother.
"You're probably right, normally. But I think I could make the effort to do nothing... with you. I mean, we've got like, six days till tour, and we're gonna have to get together and rehearse a bit 'cause I'm nervous as fuck and-"
"You'll be fine. Better than fine. amazing." Leaving the sponge in the water, Mikey nuzzled his cheek against Gerard's. "But yeah, you wanna do nothing today, then we'll do nothing. You should call Brian though, and everyone else. Just to let them know how you're doing and stuff."
.................
As promised, they spent the day doing not much of anything. After calling a few people they lazed around watching shitty daytime tv and heated up leftovers from what their mom had brought them, had a mini Star Wars battle with the few figures Mikey had thought to bring, and Mikey sat in the corner of what they'd claimed as their room, quietly playing around with his bass while Gerard sprawled out in the middle of the floor and tried to draw for a while.
It took him a fair amount of time to realise Mikey had stopped playing and was just watching him silently as his face contorted into his usual look of concentration, studying every stroke of soft pencil against the paper. His eyes flicked up to Mikey briefly. "You stopped playing."
"Was just watching you," Mikey said as he set his instrument down gently.
"Well keep playing or come watch me from down here. You know I hate people staring at me from across the room while I'm drawing." Gerard cast his eyes to the space beside him, indicating the he'd rather Mikey sit with him.
..................
Later when Mikey curled up with Gerard, his head nestled tightly into the crook of Mikey's arm, fingers flexing hesitantly in the material of his top, all he could think of was how beautiful Gerard looked; hair partially covering his eyes and a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You okay, Gee?"
"I don't know. Am I? I mean, is this?" Gerard sighed. "Doesn't matter, Mikes. Get some sleep, yeah?" He turned in further to Mikey's side, reaching over for his brother's fingers to link with his own.
"It matters. What's, what were you going to say? Tell me," Mikey squeezed Gerard's hand for emphasis, to let him know whatever it was was alright to say.
"Is this how you wanted me? If you still do, I mean. Y'know, clean. C-can I be what you want now?"
"Hey," Mikey untangled their fingers and moved Gerard's head up to look up at him. "You were always what I wanted. I just wanted you to be happier, to know what you were doing. So I'd know if you really wanted me the way I wanted you." Mikey whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind Gerard's ear, "the way I still want you."
"How is that? How you do you want me, Mikey?" He moved around fully, face above his younger brother and a hand slowly creeping down to the hem of his top. Mikey pulled him all the way over himself, spreading Gerard's legs with his own to get his thighs either side of Mikey's hips. Gerard grinned, leaning down to Mikey's neck with slow soft kisses and both hands carding through his chestnut highlighted hair, elbows pressing into the mattress.
Mikey didn't know what to say or how to even say it-anything-with Gerard all over him, sober and serious and real. "Just say it, Mikey. Whatever you want," Gerard shifted his hips just a small amount, to show Mikey in case he hadn't gotten the hint, that he had every intention of backing up his words. It's not that easy, Mikey thought, blush showing in the pale light that flooded the room, at the sharp intake of air Gerard's hardness against his own made him take. Gerard sat up to look at him, like maybe he wouldn't hear what Mikey had to say if he were closer-too absorbed the feel of so soft skin against his lips and silky hair through his fingers.
"I don't. I can't say it." Mikey drew the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth with an almost shy movement of his hips upward, hands trailing slowly up and down Gerard's thighs and only a little way under the boxers he was wearing.
"We're brothers, you can tell me anything. Anything," he repeated with a stroke of Mikey's cheek.
And maybe that shouldn't have been comforting, considering the context, but they'd always shared practically everything in some way or other, and Mikey didn't want that closeness to stop. But that didn't make it any easier to roll off of his tongue. "Iwantyouinsideme," he breathed out harshly, all one long word and quickly bit his lip again, watching the way Gerard's eyes snapped shut at his words, the way his jaw dropped, the way "oh God" tumbled out of his mouth.
Gerard immediately leant down, his face millimeters from Mikey's and lips almost touching, eyes burning into his brother's. "Fuck, Mikey. Y-you want that? 'Cause I," he licked across Mikey's lips then his own, "I want that. Not gonna lie." It was almost desperate, a slight tint of laughter, and Mikey relaxed a little, sliding his hands around to Gerard's ass and pulling him closer into the slow grind of his hips. As if he hadn't been hard already, it was emphasized by the brush of their cocks together through the thin layers of their clothing.
Mikey whined, "so bad, Gee. Want you so fuckin' bad."
"Okay, yeah. Okay. I can do that," Gerard spoke softly against Mikey's lips, grinding down and kissing a path across his mouth, along Mikey's jaw and up to his cheek bone, his brother returning the touch with whatever skin he could get his mouth on. A light press of lips to closed eyelids. Nose to nose. "Anything you want, Mikey. Anything for you. But... I don't have any stuff. I wasn't, I didn't think-"
"I did. I hoped," Mikey interrupted. "I have lube."
"Yeah?" Gerard smirked, moving down to sit more on Mikey's thighs and lifting the t-shirt up his chest, thumbs brushing his brother's skin and tongue following after, from navel to collar bone.
"Mmmyessss. Yeah I do." He pushed the hard of himself up for friction against Gerard's middle, pulling his t-shirt up the rest of the way over his head and discarding it on the other side of the bed.
"Where is it?" Gerard asked, pushing his hand awkwardly into Mikey's boxers and getting it wrapped around him, gently squeezing and just feeling it out. The shape of his brother in his palm, so hard and slightly slick when he ran his thumb over the head.
"Ah, fuck. It's, I've got it. Hang on." Reaching down over the side of the bed, Mikey pushed his fingers just underneath the mattress edge and pulled out a small bottle, taking a little more time than necessary to bring it back up as Gerard's free hand trailed up his chest and around to his neck.
"Mikey," Gerard whispered, tapping at his brother's neck and taking the bottle from his hand, setting it down at his hip. Mikey looked up, curiously, covering the hand on his neck with one of his own as he waited for what Gerard had to say. "I love you." It was simple, short and sincere, and Mikey grinned, moving Gerard's hand around over his cheek.
Licking over the long index finger in his grip, Mikey moaned, "and I love you, but tell me that while you fuck me," drawing it into his mouth and swirling his tongue around, baring his teeth as he withdrew it with a popping sound.
Gerard wanted to say something about how he'd never fuck Mikey, how it would always be so much more than that. But that wasn't what actually made it past his lips. "Can't promise I'm gonna last long enough to if you say shit like that," grinding down hard onto Mikey.
Mikey grinned, but it was sly and gaining a confidence he'd never felt in that kind of situation, finally being with someone who wanted him as much as he wanted them. Tucking Gerard's hair behind his ears and out of his face, he lifted the hem of his brother's bed shirt-thankful for the lack of skeleton pajamas-and slid his hands up Gerard's sides, bringing the shirt up with it. Gerard's fingers instinctively brought it back down, somewhat of a grimace on his face. "Don't. I wanna feel you, all of you. Want your skin on mine. Please, bro?" Gerard was never able to deny Mikey anything, and that certainly wasn't the time to start. So slowly, hesitantly, he started to tug it up. "Wait," Mikey covered Gerard's fingers with his own. "You don't have to. It's okay. Maybe later?"
Breathing out a sigh of slight relief he wished Mikey hadn't been able to hear, Gerard crooked a smile and moved himself between his brother's thighs, lifting the band of his boxers carefully over Mikey's erection and slipping them down his legs and off his feet. Gerard lay down, legs mostly hanging off of the bed, and rested his cheek on Mikey's hip as he ran his fingers slowly and admiringly over the slight arch of Mikey's cock. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, catching him in a loose grip and stroking without purpose, just something resembling... awe.
Mikey pushed his fingertips through Gerard's hair, hips slightly bucking up. "Not just me. You too, Gee. Really, you're really something, you know that?"
"I'm really going to hell for this," he laughed, breath hot against Mikey's cock. "That's a definite." He chased his words with his tongue, licking Mikey from base to tip and back down before following the path of his tongue with a firmer stroke of his hand and gaining a sweet moan for his effort.
"This really isn't fair y'know. I'm naked," Mikey complained light-heartedly, pulling at strands of Gerard's hair and watching them fall down onto his stomach.
Gerard smiled, lips pressed to the tip of Mikey's length. "I know. I like it," he crawled up, one hand skimming across his brother's stomach and chest until he reached Mikey's shoulder. Hands tugged at his boxers, "off, now," was mouthed. Gerard complied and took them down far enough to kick them over the side of the bed. He was rewarded with Mikey's hand around him. The other on his hip, urging him closer and closer. Mikey's eyes stayed trained on the ones watching him from above even as he lifted his head from the pillow to wrap his lips around the head of Gerard's cock. "God. God, Mikey, Fuck." He tried not to fist his hands in Mikey's hair as more of him disappeared into the perfect slick heat of his brother's mouth, tongue pressed to the underside as his head bobbed back and forth. Instead he leant one hand against the wall to hold his weight, the other caressing Mikey's cheek, thumb sliding around the beautiful stretch of his lips. Squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, he opened them when his head was turned away, only to be greeted by Mikey's slender fingers gliding over his own cock. He noted the slight flick of wrist, twist of skin, the way he sucked harder on the downstroke as he pushed up into his fist. "M-Mikey, now would be-uuhhh-a good time to s-stop," Gerard forced out, seriously close to coming. So much so his hips were twitching and resisting the urge to just thrust into Mikey's mouth was getting ridiculously difficult.
Mikey moaned a drawn out, "mmhmmm," around Gerard's cock, feeling the increasing throb against his tongue and pulling away agonizingly slowly. "Okay." He thrust the lube into Gerard's hand and closed his own over it with a look of pure trust and maybe it little want thrown in. Or a lot of want. Trusting want. Nodding, Gerard turned Mikey's hand over and kissed his palm as he moved back down. Bending his knees, feet flat against the bed, Mikey watched Gerard slowly open the bottle and coat his fingers. He nodded and licked his lips in anticipation as Gerard looked up with raised eyebrows, silently asking if what he was going to do was still alright.
"Okay. Try to relax then, I guess." Gerard breathed deep, as if he was the one about to get a finger in his ass, but it was only because he was desperate not to hurt his brother more than technically necessary. Mikey let one of his legs fall down to the side as Gerard stroked the same leg's thigh, moving the hand slowly up to rub at his hip as he pressed the first finger inside-just enough to curl it up a bit. "This okay?" he asked delicately. "Fuck, you've done this... before, right? I should've asked-"
"It's good bro, all good. Promise." Mikey reached down to lace their fingers together over his hip just to reassure him. "I've. Once, only once-keep going."
Pushing further, one whole first finger, Gerard tried to think when and who it could've been. "You never told me," he said, not asking but wanting to know anyway as he pressed deeper, thumb tucked up under Mikey's balls and the rest of his fingers spread under his cheeks. Kind of like how you'd hold a bowling ball, he thought, having to suppress an inappropriate giggle.
"Well y'know, not the kind of thing you say to your brother over coffee; 'Hey, I got fucked today, by a guy. Just thought I'd share.'" Mikey almost laughed at himself, sucking in a lung full of air instead as Gerard stroked in and out, back in again.
"This isn't exactly the kind of thing you do to your brother," Gerard reminded him with a smirk.
"True," Mikey squeezed the hand tangled with his own. "Come up here? Wanna kiss you while you do that."
Not wasting any time, Gerard climbed up over Mikey, leaving one knee up behind his hand-a slight pressure against it, and the other on the outside of Mikey's thigh, his cock caught between his stomach and his brother's hip. Just the right amount of friction to rock into as Mikey smiled up at him, inviting him down with fingers curling around Gerard's neck so that he could whisper in his ear. "Another one," he groaned, and Gerard didn't have a problem with that at all, pulling out enough to slide a second finger with the first and gently twist them around and from side to side, up and down, working him slowly open and relaxing the tight muscle.
"Fuck, Gee-"Mikey cut himself off from saying anything embarrassing about how amazing it felt for his brother to be doing that to him, by shoving his tongue past Gerard's parted lips and groaning low into his mouth. He pushed down against the fingers, encouraging them further, "more."
As Mikey squeezed his palm between his brother's hand and thigh, Gerard lifted his hips-his oh so hard cock-away from the friction of Mikey's hip. It was just too much, too good to stay there rutting against him if he actually wanted to be able to do what Mikey wanted. What he desperately wanted to do. He dropped his mouth to Mikey's instead, concentrating on stretching him well and kissing sloppily at his brother's lips. It was Mikey's gutteral, almost lazy tone, that made Gerard's stomach flip and tumble, made his hand move faster, his kisses eager and searching. "Gee, Gerard. Fuck, I knew," Mikey whined, "knew you'd do this so f-fucking good." He nudged at Gerard's cheek, bucking into his touch and moving his hand from Gerard's to try and pull him back down. "You moved. Why? Want you close again."
Mikey, having somehow managed to get his leg over Gerard's arm and a foot into his lower back, was able to push him back down. "Jesus. Mikey, I." Unable to just not do it, Gerard started grinding down, vocalising his pleasure in Mikey's ear. "Just feels so good. I kind of have to be in you really fucking soon or I'm gonna come all over your hip." He fumbled around with his fingers for a moment before stopping all movement and staring down at Mikey. "Can I? Another? Please?"
Mikey shook his head, feeling the pressure of a third finger just waiting to join the other two. "No, no. No more." Urging Gerard's fingers from him with the trace of a wince, Mikey kissed his brother slow and gorgeously dirty; eyes open, mouth open wider, gasping and licking at Gerard's mouth. Inside and out. "I'm ready. Right now." Mikey sounded sure but Gerard made some kind of noise of protest, to which he felt he had to answer. "I'm all yours, bro. Want you so fucking bad. Don't make me wait." He ran a hand along Gerard's bed-shirt clothed side, slipping his fingers underneath the hem. "You've got me all..." Mikey blushed, biting his lip, "got me good and open for you. I wanna feel you."
Gerard was pretty sure he'd suddenly transformed into a teenage virgin who was going to last all of five seconds once he'd gotten his cock where it, and he, wanted to be. But he said, "yeah, alright," looking to make sure he still had the lube in sight. "Do you have, um... condom?"
Mikey laughed, actually laughed, hand on Gerard's cheek gently. "Think you're gonna catch something? Or that I am?"
"Well, no. But y'know. Habit."
"No," Mikey shook his head. "I don't have any. Wouldn't want one anyway, not with you."
It was definitely Gerard's turn to blush, a pretty pink tint to his cheeks. He made a noise that wasn't really recognizable as anything, but was possibly, "oh God," considering the twitch of his cock. And just in case Gerard had forgotten what he was meant to be doing, Mikey held his hips and helped Gerard move down between his thighs. He watched intently while his brother picked up the lube and squeezed a good amount onto his hand and fisted it over his cock, already pretty slick just like the slight trail left on Mikey's hip. When he was done, Mikey lifted his legs and planted them on Gerard's shoulders, took his dry hand and pulled him over a bit, settling it up by his chest on the mattress.
Needing to get on with it before he lost his mind completely, Gerard held himself at Mikey's entrance and moved his hips forward with a steady pressure, feeling Mikey's heels dig into his neck. "If you need me to stop, you'll say something, right?"
Mikey's lips pressed into a thin line as he nodded, breathing hard through his nose. Waiting before going further, Gerard took the chance to turn his head and lay a kiss on Mikey's ankle, run his wet hand up the back of his thigh.
"Keep going." It was gritted out, but it had to be. Mikey didn't trust his voice not to crack from the intrusion, even though it was more than welcome. And as Gerard pushed deeper the burn intensified, it built up until spilling from Mikey's forehead in small beads of sweat. Like some kind of blackout, searing and hot but undeniably amazing. Then suddenly Gerard stopped, unable to go any further and that was it, fuck. All the way in. Mikey closed his eyes because Gerard was just looking at him, and it was his brother, and if he wasn't already damned for that then he'd be damned beyond all redemption if he denied all the times he'd thought about that moment.
Gerard spoke softly, followed by a bite of his lip, "still okay?" He wanted to move so, so bad, but also wanted to do it right, wanted Mikey to want it-him-again and again. So he waited, rubbing his cheek against Mikey's calf, waited for him to open his eyes. When he did, Mikey's hazel-greens were on fire, burning a little at the edges, his mouth tugged up at one corner.
"Really okay. Jus' start slow, and come down here."
Gerard smiled an okay, gently moving Mikey from his shoulders to around his middle. Moving fast was just not an option, Gerard could feel the heat in his groin, fighting the urge to come-something he'd never bothered doing before. Never needed to. But this was Mikey, and he was... Gerard looked down, could see how far inside him he was, inside his brother who was so fucking tight around him. It turned him on more than practically anything else he'd ever experienced, thought of, or imagined. The fact that it was considered 'wrong' and 'not normal', forbidden, just served to turn him on more, and he had to reach down between them. Had to feel the point where the two of them became one, fingers tracing around his cock and Mikey's skin stretched tight. Real.
"C'mon," Mikey whispered. "Need you to move."
It snapped Gerard out of his thoughts enough for him to remember what he should be doing, and without further hesitation he lay over Mikey, one arm braced against the bed and the other hand spread over Mikey's hip. He was still a little 'up', upper body slightly tilted to the side so that he could look Mikey over easily. Moving, that's what he was meant to be doing, finally, he reminded himself. Gerard drew his hips back an inch or so, catching Mikey's sly lick of his lips, and drove back in. A couple more times and Mikey grinned, biting his lip before his jaw fell open and his eyes closed gently as Gerard pulled back further and slid his hand down around Mikey's ass cheek, pulling him up as he jerked his hips.
Mikey tugged on Gerard's hair, winding a few strands around his fingers. "Down, down here." He tilted his head to catch his brother's lips with his own as Gerard leant on both elbows covering Mikey's body with his own. "I can't believe this feels so good, Gee. I," Mikey ran his hands up Gerard's back, under his shirt, one hand pressing on his lower back with each thrust. "I wanna do this forever."
"I don't know about forever," Gerard said with a slight laugh, "but I think I've got a couple more minutes left in me." He moved on to Mikey's neck, soft nips under his jaw as he rocked his hips harder, pulling out further each time. It wasn't until Mikey started shifting up the bed, groaning, breath coming in short pants, that Gerard realized how hard he was going. "Sorry, sorry," he kissed behind Mikey's ear as he slowed, a steady rhythm, just softer, dragging.
"No, 's good. Don't stop," Mikey shook his head, locking his ankles behind Gerard and burying his hands in Gerard's hair.
Wrapping an arm under Mikey's waist to hold him even closer, Gerard snapped his hips harder, faster. "God, Mikes, you feel like fuckin' heaven, can't even tell you how bad I wanted this," mumbled into Mikey's shoulder. Mikey hummed in reply, fisting his hands tighter in his brother's hair, and Gerard suddenly remembered what Mikey had said before. "It wasn't good," he stated as if Mikey would know exactly what he meant, though apparantly he did. It's a brother thing.
"I don't wanna talk about it, Gee. Just, God, harder. Mmmph, please," Mikey arched his hips up in counter to Gerard's thrusts into him, trying to distract him from his question by biting at his neck, licking where his teeth had scraped.
"Fuck," Gerard whined sharply, but determined not to be put off, he lifted his head up, long and slow thrusts, eyes boring into Mikey's and trying to get him to talk without having to ask. Mikey simply turned his head away and closed his eyes. "Tell me what happened, at least so I don't do the same thing-"
"No," Mikey said quickly, looking back at Gerard, a gentle caress to his cheek. "No, you wouldn't hurt me. I know you wouldn't," he shook his head.
"No I wouldn't, not ever. Tell me who hurt you." His face was full of concern but Mikey just sighed.
"Doesn't matter now."
"It matters, Mikey. It fucking matters!" Gerard's voice was raised, angry, but he corrected himself with a shake of his head and a softer tone. "It matters because you matter," he said, short kisses to Mikey's cheeks and nose. "Please, tell me."
Mikey said quietly, "Pete."
"I'll kill him. I'll fucking kill the bastard for hurting y-"
"No, Gee. You won't. It was a while ago and... we were both kinda drunk, it just. It was just rough okay? And I'm fine, just wasn't good. Not like this. Perfect," tilting his head up to kiss Gerard slow and open, flicking his tongue against his brother's, Mikey ran his hands up under Gerard's shirt, rubbing at his back.
"Mmmokay," he wasn't sure what Mikey had said was completely truthful, but he wanted him to enjoy it, want it-and him-over and over, so he let it go. He looked down at his shirt with a nervous glance. "You can, um. Take it off, help so I don't have to get up?"
"Yeah," Mikey nodded. "I'd like that." He lifted the shirt as Gerard ducked his head, pulling his arms out one at a time. Once the shirt was discarded, Mikey shifted his legs up higher around Gerard's waist, running his hands through to the ends of his brother's just-shoulder-touching hair and to the rounds of his shoulders. "Lift up," he said with a nod, and when he did, Mikey danced his fingertips along Gerard's collar bone and down his chest. Feeling him squirm a little as Mikey's hands got lower, he moved them around his middle and up to Gerard's shoulder blades, pulling him down again. "Thank you," he whispered against Gerard's cheek, "you're beautiful."
Gerard didn't disagree out loud, he knew better than that; it was an argument he'd never win with Mikey. Instead he closed his eyes and concentrated on the feeling of his brother wrapped tight around him in every way, and moved his hips. Slowly at first, then faster, harder as Mikey started panting and groaning in short hot bursts into his ear. "Love you, Mikes. Love you so fucking much," he breathed out hard, a ghost of a whisper just loud enough for his brother to hear.
Mikey slipped a hand between the slick-slide of their bodies, the other petting it's way through Gerard's hair, and took hold of his cock. "I know, I love you, too." Gerard smiled open mouthed against Mikey's neck, lifting his stomach and changing the angle of his hips as he felt the brush of knuckles, jerking his hips harder. "Gerard, oh God," Mikey moaned loudly. "Don't stop. There, right fucking there!"
He didn't stop, pounding away with more force and obscene grunts as he felt Mikey's hand move faster below him. "I'm. Gee, so close, I-"
"Yeah. Yeah, me too," Gerard nodded, all heavy head and foggy vision. "Kissme," he slurred into the thick air around them, nudging at Mikey's nose with his own, parting his lips with eager tongue. Too eager on both their parts. Teeth and tongue and lips brushing, crashing together with dirty moans lost in mouths, bucks of hips. Gerard's legs felt heavy, threatening to buckle any moment and forcing him to slow for a minute. "Sorry," he panted, still lost in the warmth of Mikey's mouth. "Legs. Legs wanna stop."
"'s okay," Mikey pulled his hand from Gerard's hair to cup his cheek, thumb soothingly moving over his skin. "jus', when you're ready."
"When I'm ready? I never stopped being ready. It's my legs that have given up."
Mikey puffed out a small laugh, rolling his eyes, "okay. When you're legs are ready, really fucking go for it."
"I was goin' to, don't worry," he stated matter of factly.
"Good." Mikey moved his hand lazily under the weight of his brother pressing against it. "Wanna come with you, bro. Just tell me when. And move your head. 'm gonna bite you..."
That was it, Gerard decided. Legs be damned if they didn't like it, time to get going.
He got ready, left elbow flat on the bed with fingers curling under Mikey's shoulder, the other hand pressing into the back of his brother's thigh, pushing his leg further back and giving Mikey room to touch himself. Not forgetting to stretch his neck out and to the side, of course.
Mikey waited a few seconds until Gerard got a fast pounding rhythm going-stroking himself like he had every time he'd imagined how his brother would feel deep inside him-and sucked lightly at Gerard's neck, nips of his teeth becoming harder and sharper. It was no easy feat; trying to concentrate on keeping his back curved in the perfect way, without faltering on either the fist around his cock or the teeth on Gerard's neck. He let Gerard worry about the angle, it was too hard to think beyond clamping his teeth over the sharp of Gerard's jaw when it stretched wide open, fisting himself harder with toe-curling twists of his wrist but denying himself touching anywhere near the desperatly leaking head of his cock. Not until Gerard told him.
"Mi-Mikey, oh fuck, Mikey. Just a, a bit. Harder." Gerard practically melted with a nasal-like whine when Mikey obliged, picking a spot at the join of his neck and shoulder to bite down on. "Jesus motherfucking CHRIST!" Gerard's hips started getting jerkier, stuttering against Mikey as he got dangerously close to running out of breath. "N-now, now. Anytime now, shit."
Mikey drew his lips away, thumbing over the head of his cock and muffling his moans with Gerard's mouth as he felt Gerard stop and start awkwardly, pushing a few final thrusts into him. Mikey's voice was barely audible, but it was there none the less. "You're coming... in... me. Uughfuck," and he lost it, head lolling back with his eyes as he spilled hot and heavy over his fist, the hand Gerard had held his leg with then moving to help him through it.
................
Reaching for his shirt, Gerard held it up by Mikey's head as he kissed him sweetly, keeping his messy hand carefully covered. When Mikey smiled against his lips, he lifted up to shove his shirt down between them and clean up Mikey's stomach and hand for him. "Thanks, it was gettin' kinda gross down there."
"Yeah," Gerard laughed, "gotta move now though. Sorry, babe." Gerard braced his arms either side of Mikey's shoulders to push up and move over but was swiftly poked in the side by his younger brother. "What was that for?"
"Babe? What the fuck?" Mikey tried to keep a straight face but didn't succeed too well with Gerard cringing down at him.
"So? I can call you that if I want to." He poked at Mikey's nose gently, "you're cute."
"Maybe," Mikey blushed. "But you, are the pretty one. All this hair..." he trailed off, sweeping it behind Gerard's ears.
"That's it. I'm cutting that shit off. Like, first thing tomorrow."
It came out lighthearted as Gerard finally moved to climb under the covers, but Mikey still said, "don't. I like it."
"C'mere ya big sap. Cuddle with me."
"You want cuddles, and I'm the sap?" Mikey asked with raised eyebrows, but started to move anyway. "Ow, fuck!" he scrunched his nose up, having not actually gone anywhere at all.
"What's wrong?"
"Legs. Stiff. Kinda painfull to move."
"Oh," Gerard tugged at the cover until Mikey arched up enough for him to get it out from under him, pulling it up over them both and shifting in to Mikey's side. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Mikey, I really don't. I'm sca-"
"Sshhh," Mikey cooed, easing himself into a more comfortable position; one arm across Gerard's waist, ankles linked together, and his head resting over his brother's chest. Gerard held on to him tight, barely there kisses into his hair. "You're my whole world, Gee. And everything in it. We're always gonna have each other. Promise."
CHAPTER: 6
PAIRING: Gerard/Mikey
RATING: A big fat NC-17
SUMMARY: Gerard has a confession to make.
DISCLAIMER: Totally real, and encouraged by Mikey talking about how he'd read fan fiction about himself and Gerard having 'relations'. How cute is that?
It's all big fat canon based lies (Except for the mention of Pete). Didn't happen like this.
WARNING: Look at the pairing. Enough said.
part one| part two| part three| part four| part five a| part five b|
When Mikey got to the kitchen the next morning after a shower, Gerard was alreay up making coffee and pancakes. Coffee at least, pancakes were already on the table, thick and stacked high on a single plate. He smiled a good morning smile and Gerard nodded, waiting until Mikey reached up on to the top of a cabinet to bring down the pill bottle up there, and took Mikey's wrist in his hand to stop him. "You want it later?" Mikey asked, head cocked to the side.
"No, just. Come have breakfast with me?"
Mikey sat at the table, Gerard promptly sitting on his knees and pouring maple syrup on the stack, rolling up the top pancake and holding it up for Mikey to bite. Mikey's smile was accompanied by a puff of air through his nose as he bit a chunk off the end. "You feeling okay?" he asked, chewing the sticky-sweetness and swallowing.
"I have a confession," Gerard said, expression unreadable as Mikey tried to figure out if it was bad or not. He just nodded to urge him on. From his pocket he produced two days worth of medication and placed them on the table.
"Did you? You took them from the-"
Gerard shook his head, "no. They're the ones you gave me. I wanted to try without them."
Just about holding back a smile, Mikey closed his eyes and slid his arms around Gerard's waist. "So, that's why you've been off? I was worried about you. Was gonna suggest you take a whole one in the mornings for a while. Or something like that."
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to see if I could do it, without you being disappointed if I couldn't." He sat back into Mikey's chest, threading his fingers through his brother's as they rested on his stomach. "But I feel... I feel fuckin' amazing this morning. This is like, the first day. The first day ever, and it's so awesome."
Kissing at his neck softly, Mikey whispered. "So proud of you, Gee. So fuckin' proud. You wanna mark it on the calendar?"
"Mmm, yeah. But," he held up some more pancake which Mikey promptly bit before Gerard could get it to his own mouth, "Hey! I was going to say I'd rather enjoy this with you first. But if I'm not even gonna get any..."
"Sorry, thought you wanted to share." Mikey opened his mouth to show off it's half chewed contents.
"That's gross, seriously," Gerard laughed, shutting Mikey's jaw with his thumb and a curled first finger, then trailing his thumb over a spot of syrup and leaning in to lick it slowly from the corner of Mikey's mouth, fingers splayed out behind his ear. "Sorry," mumbled against Mikey's lips.
He said simply, "don't be sorry," mouth open against his brother's for the first time since that first time, and tongue lightly tracing the line of Gerard's bottom lip before shifting him properly sideways in his lap.
There hadn't been anything more than chaste kisses to each other's lips, or falling asleep wrapped in each other's arms since that night; Gerard too afraid of being rejected until he cleaned himself up, and Mikey too worried his brother wouldn't actually want him that way if he were really clear headed. But as their kiss deepened, those worries and fears melted away in the same manner as their bodies melted together, hands gently holding hips and cheeks with soft sighs. When Gerard pulled back slowly his eyes were closed, bliss etched across his face-a grin from ear to ear. "You wanna mark the calendar with me?"
.......................
They used a thick black marker to draw a smiley face over the date, Mikey's fingers closed over his brother's as they moved the pen together. "August eleventh. A new start," Gerard smiled. "You're gonna help me though, right? I, I'm still kinda scared about all this. Kind of, a bit lost..."
"Gee," Mikey said sadly, turning Gerard around to face him. "You don't even have to ask. I'll always be here for you. Whatever you need, it's yours."
"Just you. I just need you."
Mikey laughed and swatted at Gerard's shoulder. "Don't be such a girl, bro. Ya got me, okay? Always. So before one of us starts crying, what do you feel like doing today?"
Gerard rolled his eyes and left Mikey there so he could start washing up their breakfast plate and things from the night before. "You'd be the one to cry. Not me," he said knowingly, watching the basin fill with suds. "How 'bout nothing? Absolutely nothing."
Mikey waited for Gerard to get his hands in the warm water before standing right up behind him and rubbing at his shoulders and neck, massaging them gently. "I don't think you're capable of doing absolutely nothing." Gerard sighed, relaxing like Mikey wanted him to, leaning back against him. And when he reached out to put a plate on the rack to dry, Mikey snaked his arms down around Gerard's middle and took the sponge, taking over washing the last few things without protest from his brother.
"You're probably right, normally. But I think I could make the effort to do nothing... with you. I mean, we've got like, six days till tour, and we're gonna have to get together and rehearse a bit 'cause I'm nervous as fuck and-"
"You'll be fine. Better than fine. amazing." Leaving the sponge in the water, Mikey nuzzled his cheek against Gerard's. "But yeah, you wanna do nothing today, then we'll do nothing. You should call Brian though, and everyone else. Just to let them know how you're doing and stuff."
.................
As promised, they spent the day doing not much of anything. After calling a few people they lazed around watching shitty daytime tv and heated up leftovers from what their mom had brought them, had a mini Star Wars battle with the few figures Mikey had thought to bring, and Mikey sat in the corner of what they'd claimed as their room, quietly playing around with his bass while Gerard sprawled out in the middle of the floor and tried to draw for a while.
It took him a fair amount of time to realise Mikey had stopped playing and was just watching him silently as his face contorted into his usual look of concentration, studying every stroke of soft pencil against the paper. His eyes flicked up to Mikey briefly. "You stopped playing."
"Was just watching you," Mikey said as he set his instrument down gently.
"Well keep playing or come watch me from down here. You know I hate people staring at me from across the room while I'm drawing." Gerard cast his eyes to the space beside him, indicating the he'd rather Mikey sit with him.
..................
Later when Mikey curled up with Gerard, his head nestled tightly into the crook of Mikey's arm, fingers flexing hesitantly in the material of his top, all he could think of was how beautiful Gerard looked; hair partially covering his eyes and a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You okay, Gee?"
"I don't know. Am I? I mean, is this?" Gerard sighed. "Doesn't matter, Mikes. Get some sleep, yeah?" He turned in further to Mikey's side, reaching over for his brother's fingers to link with his own.
"It matters. What's, what were you going to say? Tell me," Mikey squeezed Gerard's hand for emphasis, to let him know whatever it was was alright to say.
"Is this how you wanted me? If you still do, I mean. Y'know, clean. C-can I be what you want now?"
"Hey," Mikey untangled their fingers and moved Gerard's head up to look up at him. "You were always what I wanted. I just wanted you to be happier, to know what you were doing. So I'd know if you really wanted me the way I wanted you." Mikey whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind Gerard's ear, "the way I still want you."
"How is that? How you do you want me, Mikey?" He moved around fully, face above his younger brother and a hand slowly creeping down to the hem of his top. Mikey pulled him all the way over himself, spreading Gerard's legs with his own to get his thighs either side of Mikey's hips. Gerard grinned, leaning down to Mikey's neck with slow soft kisses and both hands carding through his chestnut highlighted hair, elbows pressing into the mattress.
Mikey didn't know what to say or how to even say it-anything-with Gerard all over him, sober and serious and real. "Just say it, Mikey. Whatever you want," Gerard shifted his hips just a small amount, to show Mikey in case he hadn't gotten the hint, that he had every intention of backing up his words. It's not that easy, Mikey thought, blush showing in the pale light that flooded the room, at the sharp intake of air Gerard's hardness against his own made him take. Gerard sat up to look at him, like maybe he wouldn't hear what Mikey had to say if he were closer-too absorbed the feel of so soft skin against his lips and silky hair through his fingers.
"I don't. I can't say it." Mikey drew the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth with an almost shy movement of his hips upward, hands trailing slowly up and down Gerard's thighs and only a little way under the boxers he was wearing.
"We're brothers, you can tell me anything. Anything," he repeated with a stroke of Mikey's cheek.
And maybe that shouldn't have been comforting, considering the context, but they'd always shared practically everything in some way or other, and Mikey didn't want that closeness to stop. But that didn't make it any easier to roll off of his tongue. "Iwantyouinsideme," he breathed out harshly, all one long word and quickly bit his lip again, watching the way Gerard's eyes snapped shut at his words, the way his jaw dropped, the way "oh God" tumbled out of his mouth.
Gerard immediately leant down, his face millimeters from Mikey's and lips almost touching, eyes burning into his brother's. "Fuck, Mikey. Y-you want that? 'Cause I," he licked across Mikey's lips then his own, "I want that. Not gonna lie." It was almost desperate, a slight tint of laughter, and Mikey relaxed a little, sliding his hands around to Gerard's ass and pulling him closer into the slow grind of his hips. As if he hadn't been hard already, it was emphasized by the brush of their cocks together through the thin layers of their clothing.
Mikey whined, "so bad, Gee. Want you so fuckin' bad."
"Okay, yeah. Okay. I can do that," Gerard spoke softly against Mikey's lips, grinding down and kissing a path across his mouth, along Mikey's jaw and up to his cheek bone, his brother returning the touch with whatever skin he could get his mouth on. A light press of lips to closed eyelids. Nose to nose. "Anything you want, Mikey. Anything for you. But... I don't have any stuff. I wasn't, I didn't think-"
"I did. I hoped," Mikey interrupted. "I have lube."
"Yeah?" Gerard smirked, moving down to sit more on Mikey's thighs and lifting the t-shirt up his chest, thumbs brushing his brother's skin and tongue following after, from navel to collar bone.
"Mmmyessss. Yeah I do." He pushed the hard of himself up for friction against Gerard's middle, pulling his t-shirt up the rest of the way over his head and discarding it on the other side of the bed.
"Where is it?" Gerard asked, pushing his hand awkwardly into Mikey's boxers and getting it wrapped around him, gently squeezing and just feeling it out. The shape of his brother in his palm, so hard and slightly slick when he ran his thumb over the head.
"Ah, fuck. It's, I've got it. Hang on." Reaching down over the side of the bed, Mikey pushed his fingers just underneath the mattress edge and pulled out a small bottle, taking a little more time than necessary to bring it back up as Gerard's free hand trailed up his chest and around to his neck.
"Mikey," Gerard whispered, tapping at his brother's neck and taking the bottle from his hand, setting it down at his hip. Mikey looked up, curiously, covering the hand on his neck with one of his own as he waited for what Gerard had to say. "I love you." It was simple, short and sincere, and Mikey grinned, moving Gerard's hand around over his cheek.
Licking over the long index finger in his grip, Mikey moaned, "and I love you, but tell me that while you fuck me," drawing it into his mouth and swirling his tongue around, baring his teeth as he withdrew it with a popping sound.
Gerard wanted to say something about how he'd never fuck Mikey, how it would always be so much more than that. But that wasn't what actually made it past his lips. "Can't promise I'm gonna last long enough to if you say shit like that," grinding down hard onto Mikey.
Mikey grinned, but it was sly and gaining a confidence he'd never felt in that kind of situation, finally being with someone who wanted him as much as he wanted them. Tucking Gerard's hair behind his ears and out of his face, he lifted the hem of his brother's bed shirt-thankful for the lack of skeleton pajamas-and slid his hands up Gerard's sides, bringing the shirt up with it. Gerard's fingers instinctively brought it back down, somewhat of a grimace on his face. "Don't. I wanna feel you, all of you. Want your skin on mine. Please, bro?" Gerard was never able to deny Mikey anything, and that certainly wasn't the time to start. So slowly, hesitantly, he started to tug it up. "Wait," Mikey covered Gerard's fingers with his own. "You don't have to. It's okay. Maybe later?"
Breathing out a sigh of slight relief he wished Mikey hadn't been able to hear, Gerard crooked a smile and moved himself between his brother's thighs, lifting the band of his boxers carefully over Mikey's erection and slipping them down his legs and off his feet. Gerard lay down, legs mostly hanging off of the bed, and rested his cheek on Mikey's hip as he ran his fingers slowly and admiringly over the slight arch of Mikey's cock. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, catching him in a loose grip and stroking without purpose, just something resembling... awe.
Mikey pushed his fingertips through Gerard's hair, hips slightly bucking up. "Not just me. You too, Gee. Really, you're really something, you know that?"
"I'm really going to hell for this," he laughed, breath hot against Mikey's cock. "That's a definite." He chased his words with his tongue, licking Mikey from base to tip and back down before following the path of his tongue with a firmer stroke of his hand and gaining a sweet moan for his effort.
"This really isn't fair y'know. I'm naked," Mikey complained light-heartedly, pulling at strands of Gerard's hair and watching them fall down onto his stomach.
Gerard smiled, lips pressed to the tip of Mikey's length. "I know. I like it," he crawled up, one hand skimming across his brother's stomach and chest until he reached Mikey's shoulder. Hands tugged at his boxers, "off, now," was mouthed. Gerard complied and took them down far enough to kick them over the side of the bed. He was rewarded with Mikey's hand around him. The other on his hip, urging him closer and closer. Mikey's eyes stayed trained on the ones watching him from above even as he lifted his head from the pillow to wrap his lips around the head of Gerard's cock. "God. God, Mikey, Fuck." He tried not to fist his hands in Mikey's hair as more of him disappeared into the perfect slick heat of his brother's mouth, tongue pressed to the underside as his head bobbed back and forth. Instead he leant one hand against the wall to hold his weight, the other caressing Mikey's cheek, thumb sliding around the beautiful stretch of his lips. Squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, he opened them when his head was turned away, only to be greeted by Mikey's slender fingers gliding over his own cock. He noted the slight flick of wrist, twist of skin, the way he sucked harder on the downstroke as he pushed up into his fist. "M-Mikey, now would be-uuhhh-a good time to s-stop," Gerard forced out, seriously close to coming. So much so his hips were twitching and resisting the urge to just thrust into Mikey's mouth was getting ridiculously difficult.
Mikey moaned a drawn out, "mmhmmm," around Gerard's cock, feeling the increasing throb against his tongue and pulling away agonizingly slowly. "Okay." He thrust the lube into Gerard's hand and closed his own over it with a look of pure trust and maybe it little want thrown in. Or a lot of want. Trusting want. Nodding, Gerard turned Mikey's hand over and kissed his palm as he moved back down. Bending his knees, feet flat against the bed, Mikey watched Gerard slowly open the bottle and coat his fingers. He nodded and licked his lips in anticipation as Gerard looked up with raised eyebrows, silently asking if what he was going to do was still alright.
"Okay. Try to relax then, I guess." Gerard breathed deep, as if he was the one about to get a finger in his ass, but it was only because he was desperate not to hurt his brother more than technically necessary. Mikey let one of his legs fall down to the side as Gerard stroked the same leg's thigh, moving the hand slowly up to rub at his hip as he pressed the first finger inside-just enough to curl it up a bit. "This okay?" he asked delicately. "Fuck, you've done this... before, right? I should've asked-"
"It's good bro, all good. Promise." Mikey reached down to lace their fingers together over his hip just to reassure him. "I've. Once, only once-keep going."
Pushing further, one whole first finger, Gerard tried to think when and who it could've been. "You never told me," he said, not asking but wanting to know anyway as he pressed deeper, thumb tucked up under Mikey's balls and the rest of his fingers spread under his cheeks. Kind of like how you'd hold a bowling ball, he thought, having to suppress an inappropriate giggle.
"Well y'know, not the kind of thing you say to your brother over coffee; 'Hey, I got fucked today, by a guy. Just thought I'd share.'" Mikey almost laughed at himself, sucking in a lung full of air instead as Gerard stroked in and out, back in again.
"This isn't exactly the kind of thing you do to your brother," Gerard reminded him with a smirk.
"True," Mikey squeezed the hand tangled with his own. "Come up here? Wanna kiss you while you do that."
Not wasting any time, Gerard climbed up over Mikey, leaving one knee up behind his hand-a slight pressure against it, and the other on the outside of Mikey's thigh, his cock caught between his stomach and his brother's hip. Just the right amount of friction to rock into as Mikey smiled up at him, inviting him down with fingers curling around Gerard's neck so that he could whisper in his ear. "Another one," he groaned, and Gerard didn't have a problem with that at all, pulling out enough to slide a second finger with the first and gently twist them around and from side to side, up and down, working him slowly open and relaxing the tight muscle.
"Fuck, Gee-"Mikey cut himself off from saying anything embarrassing about how amazing it felt for his brother to be doing that to him, by shoving his tongue past Gerard's parted lips and groaning low into his mouth. He pushed down against the fingers, encouraging them further, "more."
As Mikey squeezed his palm between his brother's hand and thigh, Gerard lifted his hips-his oh so hard cock-away from the friction of Mikey's hip. It was just too much, too good to stay there rutting against him if he actually wanted to be able to do what Mikey wanted. What he desperately wanted to do. He dropped his mouth to Mikey's instead, concentrating on stretching him well and kissing sloppily at his brother's lips. It was Mikey's gutteral, almost lazy tone, that made Gerard's stomach flip and tumble, made his hand move faster, his kisses eager and searching. "Gee, Gerard. Fuck, I knew," Mikey whined, "knew you'd do this so f-fucking good." He nudged at Gerard's cheek, bucking into his touch and moving his hand from Gerard's to try and pull him back down. "You moved. Why? Want you close again."
Mikey, having somehow managed to get his leg over Gerard's arm and a foot into his lower back, was able to push him back down. "Jesus. Mikey, I." Unable to just not do it, Gerard started grinding down, vocalising his pleasure in Mikey's ear. "Just feels so good. I kind of have to be in you really fucking soon or I'm gonna come all over your hip." He fumbled around with his fingers for a moment before stopping all movement and staring down at Mikey. "Can I? Another? Please?"
Mikey shook his head, feeling the pressure of a third finger just waiting to join the other two. "No, no. No more." Urging Gerard's fingers from him with the trace of a wince, Mikey kissed his brother slow and gorgeously dirty; eyes open, mouth open wider, gasping and licking at Gerard's mouth. Inside and out. "I'm ready. Right now." Mikey sounded sure but Gerard made some kind of noise of protest, to which he felt he had to answer. "I'm all yours, bro. Want you so fucking bad. Don't make me wait." He ran a hand along Gerard's bed-shirt clothed side, slipping his fingers underneath the hem. "You've got me all..." Mikey blushed, biting his lip, "got me good and open for you. I wanna feel you."
Gerard was pretty sure he'd suddenly transformed into a teenage virgin who was going to last all of five seconds once he'd gotten his cock where it, and he, wanted to be. But he said, "yeah, alright," looking to make sure he still had the lube in sight. "Do you have, um... condom?"
Mikey laughed, actually laughed, hand on Gerard's cheek gently. "Think you're gonna catch something? Or that I am?"
"Well, no. But y'know. Habit."
"No," Mikey shook his head. "I don't have any. Wouldn't want one anyway, not with you."
It was definitely Gerard's turn to blush, a pretty pink tint to his cheeks. He made a noise that wasn't really recognizable as anything, but was possibly, "oh God," considering the twitch of his cock. And just in case Gerard had forgotten what he was meant to be doing, Mikey held his hips and helped Gerard move down between his thighs. He watched intently while his brother picked up the lube and squeezed a good amount onto his hand and fisted it over his cock, already pretty slick just like the slight trail left on Mikey's hip. When he was done, Mikey lifted his legs and planted them on Gerard's shoulders, took his dry hand and pulled him over a bit, settling it up by his chest on the mattress.
Needing to get on with it before he lost his mind completely, Gerard held himself at Mikey's entrance and moved his hips forward with a steady pressure, feeling Mikey's heels dig into his neck. "If you need me to stop, you'll say something, right?"
Mikey's lips pressed into a thin line as he nodded, breathing hard through his nose. Waiting before going further, Gerard took the chance to turn his head and lay a kiss on Mikey's ankle, run his wet hand up the back of his thigh.
"Keep going." It was gritted out, but it had to be. Mikey didn't trust his voice not to crack from the intrusion, even though it was more than welcome. And as Gerard pushed deeper the burn intensified, it built up until spilling from Mikey's forehead in small beads of sweat. Like some kind of blackout, searing and hot but undeniably amazing. Then suddenly Gerard stopped, unable to go any further and that was it, fuck. All the way in. Mikey closed his eyes because Gerard was just looking at him, and it was his brother, and if he wasn't already damned for that then he'd be damned beyond all redemption if he denied all the times he'd thought about that moment.
Gerard spoke softly, followed by a bite of his lip, "still okay?" He wanted to move so, so bad, but also wanted to do it right, wanted Mikey to want it-him-again and again. So he waited, rubbing his cheek against Mikey's calf, waited for him to open his eyes. When he did, Mikey's hazel-greens were on fire, burning a little at the edges, his mouth tugged up at one corner.
"Really okay. Jus' start slow, and come down here."
Gerard smiled an okay, gently moving Mikey from his shoulders to around his middle. Moving fast was just not an option, Gerard could feel the heat in his groin, fighting the urge to come-something he'd never bothered doing before. Never needed to. But this was Mikey, and he was... Gerard looked down, could see how far inside him he was, inside his brother who was so fucking tight around him. It turned him on more than practically anything else he'd ever experienced, thought of, or imagined. The fact that it was considered 'wrong' and 'not normal', forbidden, just served to turn him on more, and he had to reach down between them. Had to feel the point where the two of them became one, fingers tracing around his cock and Mikey's skin stretched tight. Real.
"C'mon," Mikey whispered. "Need you to move."
It snapped Gerard out of his thoughts enough for him to remember what he should be doing, and without further hesitation he lay over Mikey, one arm braced against the bed and the other hand spread over Mikey's hip. He was still a little 'up', upper body slightly tilted to the side so that he could look Mikey over easily. Moving, that's what he was meant to be doing, finally, he reminded himself. Gerard drew his hips back an inch or so, catching Mikey's sly lick of his lips, and drove back in. A couple more times and Mikey grinned, biting his lip before his jaw fell open and his eyes closed gently as Gerard pulled back further and slid his hand down around Mikey's ass cheek, pulling him up as he jerked his hips.
Mikey tugged on Gerard's hair, winding a few strands around his fingers. "Down, down here." He tilted his head to catch his brother's lips with his own as Gerard leant on both elbows covering Mikey's body with his own. "I can't believe this feels so good, Gee. I," Mikey ran his hands up Gerard's back, under his shirt, one hand pressing on his lower back with each thrust. "I wanna do this forever."
"I don't know about forever," Gerard said with a slight laugh, "but I think I've got a couple more minutes left in me." He moved on to Mikey's neck, soft nips under his jaw as he rocked his hips harder, pulling out further each time. It wasn't until Mikey started shifting up the bed, groaning, breath coming in short pants, that Gerard realized how hard he was going. "Sorry, sorry," he kissed behind Mikey's ear as he slowed, a steady rhythm, just softer, dragging.
"No, 's good. Don't stop," Mikey shook his head, locking his ankles behind Gerard and burying his hands in Gerard's hair.
Wrapping an arm under Mikey's waist to hold him even closer, Gerard snapped his hips harder, faster. "God, Mikes, you feel like fuckin' heaven, can't even tell you how bad I wanted this," mumbled into Mikey's shoulder. Mikey hummed in reply, fisting his hands tighter in his brother's hair, and Gerard suddenly remembered what Mikey had said before. "It wasn't good," he stated as if Mikey would know exactly what he meant, though apparantly he did. It's a brother thing.
"I don't wanna talk about it, Gee. Just, God, harder. Mmmph, please," Mikey arched his hips up in counter to Gerard's thrusts into him, trying to distract him from his question by biting at his neck, licking where his teeth had scraped.
"Fuck," Gerard whined sharply, but determined not to be put off, he lifted his head up, long and slow thrusts, eyes boring into Mikey's and trying to get him to talk without having to ask. Mikey simply turned his head away and closed his eyes. "Tell me what happened, at least so I don't do the same thing-"
"No," Mikey said quickly, looking back at Gerard, a gentle caress to his cheek. "No, you wouldn't hurt me. I know you wouldn't," he shook his head.
"No I wouldn't, not ever. Tell me who hurt you." His face was full of concern but Mikey just sighed.
"Doesn't matter now."
"It matters, Mikey. It fucking matters!" Gerard's voice was raised, angry, but he corrected himself with a shake of his head and a softer tone. "It matters because you matter," he said, short kisses to Mikey's cheeks and nose. "Please, tell me."
Mikey said quietly, "Pete."
"I'll kill him. I'll fucking kill the bastard for hurting y-"
"No, Gee. You won't. It was a while ago and... we were both kinda drunk, it just. It was just rough okay? And I'm fine, just wasn't good. Not like this. Perfect," tilting his head up to kiss Gerard slow and open, flicking his tongue against his brother's, Mikey ran his hands up under Gerard's shirt, rubbing at his back.
"Mmmokay," he wasn't sure what Mikey had said was completely truthful, but he wanted him to enjoy it, want it-and him-over and over, so he let it go. He looked down at his shirt with a nervous glance. "You can, um. Take it off, help so I don't have to get up?"
"Yeah," Mikey nodded. "I'd like that." He lifted the shirt as Gerard ducked his head, pulling his arms out one at a time. Once the shirt was discarded, Mikey shifted his legs up higher around Gerard's waist, running his hands through to the ends of his brother's just-shoulder-touching hair and to the rounds of his shoulders. "Lift up," he said with a nod, and when he did, Mikey danced his fingertips along Gerard's collar bone and down his chest. Feeling him squirm a little as Mikey's hands got lower, he moved them around his middle and up to Gerard's shoulder blades, pulling him down again. "Thank you," he whispered against Gerard's cheek, "you're beautiful."
Gerard didn't disagree out loud, he knew better than that; it was an argument he'd never win with Mikey. Instead he closed his eyes and concentrated on the feeling of his brother wrapped tight around him in every way, and moved his hips. Slowly at first, then faster, harder as Mikey started panting and groaning in short hot bursts into his ear. "Love you, Mikes. Love you so fucking much," he breathed out hard, a ghost of a whisper just loud enough for his brother to hear.
Mikey slipped a hand between the slick-slide of their bodies, the other petting it's way through Gerard's hair, and took hold of his cock. "I know, I love you, too." Gerard smiled open mouthed against Mikey's neck, lifting his stomach and changing the angle of his hips as he felt the brush of knuckles, jerking his hips harder. "Gerard, oh God," Mikey moaned loudly. "Don't stop. There, right fucking there!"
He didn't stop, pounding away with more force and obscene grunts as he felt Mikey's hand move faster below him. "I'm. Gee, so close, I-"
"Yeah. Yeah, me too," Gerard nodded, all heavy head and foggy vision. "Kissme," he slurred into the thick air around them, nudging at Mikey's nose with his own, parting his lips with eager tongue. Too eager on both their parts. Teeth and tongue and lips brushing, crashing together with dirty moans lost in mouths, bucks of hips. Gerard's legs felt heavy, threatening to buckle any moment and forcing him to slow for a minute. "Sorry," he panted, still lost in the warmth of Mikey's mouth. "Legs. Legs wanna stop."
"'s okay," Mikey pulled his hand from Gerard's hair to cup his cheek, thumb soothingly moving over his skin. "jus', when you're ready."
"When I'm ready? I never stopped being ready. It's my legs that have given up."
Mikey puffed out a small laugh, rolling his eyes, "okay. When you're legs are ready, really fucking go for it."
"I was goin' to, don't worry," he stated matter of factly.
"Good." Mikey moved his hand lazily under the weight of his brother pressing against it. "Wanna come with you, bro. Just tell me when. And move your head. 'm gonna bite you..."
That was it, Gerard decided. Legs be damned if they didn't like it, time to get going.
He got ready, left elbow flat on the bed with fingers curling under Mikey's shoulder, the other hand pressing into the back of his brother's thigh, pushing his leg further back and giving Mikey room to touch himself. Not forgetting to stretch his neck out and to the side, of course.
Mikey waited a few seconds until Gerard got a fast pounding rhythm going-stroking himself like he had every time he'd imagined how his brother would feel deep inside him-and sucked lightly at Gerard's neck, nips of his teeth becoming harder and sharper. It was no easy feat; trying to concentrate on keeping his back curved in the perfect way, without faltering on either the fist around his cock or the teeth on Gerard's neck. He let Gerard worry about the angle, it was too hard to think beyond clamping his teeth over the sharp of Gerard's jaw when it stretched wide open, fisting himself harder with toe-curling twists of his wrist but denying himself touching anywhere near the desperatly leaking head of his cock. Not until Gerard told him.
"Mi-Mikey, oh fuck, Mikey. Just a, a bit. Harder." Gerard practically melted with a nasal-like whine when Mikey obliged, picking a spot at the join of his neck and shoulder to bite down on. "Jesus motherfucking CHRIST!" Gerard's hips started getting jerkier, stuttering against Mikey as he got dangerously close to running out of breath. "N-now, now. Anytime now, shit."
Mikey drew his lips away, thumbing over the head of his cock and muffling his moans with Gerard's mouth as he felt Gerard stop and start awkwardly, pushing a few final thrusts into him. Mikey's voice was barely audible, but it was there none the less. "You're coming... in... me. Uughfuck," and he lost it, head lolling back with his eyes as he spilled hot and heavy over his fist, the hand Gerard had held his leg with then moving to help him through it.
................
Reaching for his shirt, Gerard held it up by Mikey's head as he kissed him sweetly, keeping his messy hand carefully covered. When Mikey smiled against his lips, he lifted up to shove his shirt down between them and clean up Mikey's stomach and hand for him. "Thanks, it was gettin' kinda gross down there."
"Yeah," Gerard laughed, "gotta move now though. Sorry, babe." Gerard braced his arms either side of Mikey's shoulders to push up and move over but was swiftly poked in the side by his younger brother. "What was that for?"
"Babe? What the fuck?" Mikey tried to keep a straight face but didn't succeed too well with Gerard cringing down at him.
"So? I can call you that if I want to." He poked at Mikey's nose gently, "you're cute."
"Maybe," Mikey blushed. "But you, are the pretty one. All this hair..." he trailed off, sweeping it behind Gerard's ears.
"That's it. I'm cutting that shit off. Like, first thing tomorrow."
It came out lighthearted as Gerard finally moved to climb under the covers, but Mikey still said, "don't. I like it."
"C'mere ya big sap. Cuddle with me."
"You want cuddles, and I'm the sap?" Mikey asked with raised eyebrows, but started to move anyway. "Ow, fuck!" he scrunched his nose up, having not actually gone anywhere at all.
"What's wrong?"
"Legs. Stiff. Kinda painfull to move."
"Oh," Gerard tugged at the cover until Mikey arched up enough for him to get it out from under him, pulling it up over them both and shifting in to Mikey's side. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Mikey, I really don't. I'm sca-"
"Sshhh," Mikey cooed, easing himself into a more comfortable position; one arm across Gerard's waist, ankles linked together, and his head resting over his brother's chest. Gerard held on to him tight, barely there kisses into his hair. "You're my whole world, Gee. And everything in it. We're always gonna have each other. Promise."