(no subject)
I wish I had some kind of solution for what is going on. I've never felt so lost or clueless before. I feel like my heart has been ripped out, thrown to the floor, and repeatedly stepped on. Of course I knew this was going to hurt, but I didn't realize to what extent. I suppose the best thing for me to do is move on. I cannot go back and forth and play the on-off game. This just hurts too much. If Phil has to question how he feels about me and our relationship then ???. I've had many opportunities face me that I could have given this all up for, but I didn't. I had faith that we would work it out. I have questioned the degree of love I've had for him, but now that it's been taken away I feel that I can answer the question.
I've been looking forward to his birthday party since July. I know it might sound silly, but I've been excited to hang out with him with all of his friends there just having a good time. It was something we could do that we didn't have to think of a time-filler for.
I know it's going to take a while to move on from this, but eventually I'll get through it. Everything happens for a reason and maybe this is to teach me a lesson. A lesson to be more appreciative for what I have.
I've been looking forward to his birthday party since July. I know it might sound silly, but I've been excited to hang out with him with all of his friends there just having a good time. It was something we could do that we didn't have to think of a time-filler for.
I know it's going to take a while to move on from this, but eventually I'll get through it. Everything happens for a reason and maybe this is to teach me a lesson. A lesson to be more appreciative for what I have.