Why Do I Run Away?
I have a phobia...it's the fear of boys...and not just on the surface...to let them in emotionally. Seriously though it's something that is getting harder and harder to deal with, and I might say it jokingly but it's become a major problem that i don't know what to do about. I'm tired of explaining when I really don't know what I'm explaining at all. I'm tired of them expecting more when I don't know what I can offer other than a friendship. I suppose it doesn't help when dirty old men like my boss hold me down and hug me to the point where I can't get away and make me promise to stay....doesn't exactly make me want to open up to them. It also doesn't help when I take the time to begin to trust someone and, though it may take a while, it gets thrown at my face because I took too long. I don't have any excuses...this is just me...prolly more than anyone bargained for but I can't and I won't change or force anything to where I am pretending to be someone I'm not.