So Many Questions
Why is it that it always turns out where everyone understands without even telling them except the one person that you need to understand, and no matter what you say or how you try to explain it never gets through? Is that a clear sign that you should go in another direction? Or should you keep trying because all the best things in life are worth the effort? I don't know which way to go so in the meantime I'm standing still...if there is such a thing as being between doing nothing and something...I am in it. It's like I'm about to explode on the inside but on the outside I am going to look perfectly calm and content and happy. Maybe thats the problem, people read me wrong...it's like they don't get it but when I tell them how it really is things get messed up anyways because they don't believe me or they feel I have to PROVE it or something...so why try right? But then again why go through life protecting yourself from something that could be the most amazing thing that ever happened to you? But if the more you push through the more it forces emotions down somewhere that nobody can find is it even worth it? Nobody is patient enough to wait long enough for them to come to the surface, and even if they try and I'm willing to take a chance, by the time I let that happen it's too late and the whole thing starts over again. I couldn't have done it different. I was told that I was given too many chances but I missed them....but the truth is I wasn't ready then, if I had jumped at the chance then it would be too soon, I would have gotten scared and ran...I always run when people push things....I thought you understood that. If I could go back knowing what I know now things would be different...but if not then I would just be caught somewhere that I'm not sure of...but now I'm sure...now I'm completely sure and you change your mind from day to day. So I'll go back, and start over...who knows what tomorrow brings right? I never thought this would happen... so who knows what impossible things will be possible tomorrow and what new opportunities will arise
but
...if only you could see
No matter how much I feel I love, need, or depend on something, I will not dwell on it or spend my life waiting for it. I will wait only for what and who HE chooses for me because in the end we never get our way and sometimes we are so blind to see that HIS way becomes our way if we only give it the chance.
but
...if only you could see
No matter how much I feel I love, need, or depend on something, I will not dwell on it or spend my life waiting for it. I will wait only for what and who HE chooses for me because in the end we never get our way and sometimes we are so blind to see that HIS way becomes our way if we only give it the chance.