Venting...
Ok, so there are only 10 days left until my birthday, and that really freaks me out for some reason... I've never felt this way about a birthday before... I'm really really freaked out... I'm about to be like freakin 20 years OLD!!! That's 2 decades... That's 1/2 way to forty... Which means that I'm 1/2 way up the hill... Also, it is important to note that the word twenty does not contian the word teen... Which means that I will no longer be a "teenager"... I think that has to be the weirdest and saddest part for me... I mean... There have been 7 full years in which I could say that I was a teenager... As of next Saturday, that will no longer be true... It's like... I'm letting go of the last remnant of childhood that I had, you know? This is it right here... The fun is over, I'm 20... I will no longer have claim to those youthful teenager years... I will no longer be considered a child... 20 means adult... Not adolescent... A-D-U-L-T... What the crap is that about? You know? I mean... Adolescence, as awkward and strange and confusing as it is, is great, you know? And now, what? I'm gonna be "one of them"... The enemy... The adult... I mean, ok, I realize that on next Saturday I am not going to magically mature into some crazy adult... I know that my personality is not going to change, I'm still going to be the same old Desire' that thinks she's a heck of a lot funnier than everyone else seems to think she is... The same old Desire' that has no problem being serious with the adults or crazy with the kids... I will still be me... I will just be an older me... But still... It freaks me out... It's the end of adolescence... And I know that this end is the beginning of my adulthood, so it's not like the end to end all kinda thing... I just feel freaked out about it... Ugh... Ok... that's enough of a vent for now I suppose...