hey journal and journal buddies!
hi everyone, how's it going? man i can't believe i'm writing a whole new entry for LJ and not just pasting the xanga one into here....hahaha
Vivian said my xanga post should be more emotional and heart-felt...well, too bad for xanga, if i'm not lazy, LJ will have more interesting posts (emotionally-wise) than xanga does. Why? Because hardly anyone at school reads this thing, there's friends-only posts, and i dunno...haha
I was petrified tonight. I started writing my yearbook article and...i COULD NOT write. I'm serious...the words, the thoughts...they wouldn't flow, they wouldn't come out. I got so frustrated, cuz i was writing all this junk that with juvenile sentence patterns and flow...I got freaked out and prayed really hard and suddenly, I could write again. I was calm, and my mind started functioning. Thanks, God...ur the best.
I'm trying to decide whether i should ask someone to the sophomore banquet....i mean, it's sadie hawkins and it'll probably be the last sadie hawkins banquet i'll go to, so if i don't ask someone, then i NEVER will, you know? so maybe i just should....it's something else i would've done in life...buuuut i am freaked out....so nervous....and who should i ask, hmmm.....and should i EVEN ask someone? having a date can be nerve-wrecking for me....but i mean, if i don't ask someone, then i'll never ask any guy again cuz i'll probably never get the opportunity. Opportunity is knocking - should i open the door?
I had two close calls today, and all on the same phone call. Well, i was playing my violin and i think i was thinking of the banquet at the same time, cuz when the phone rang and it was some guy, i panicked. he was like, "hello, is denise there?" and i DID NOT recognize the voice...i thought "oh no is it some guy who's gonna ask me to the banquet? cuz i don't wanna be asked..." and i thought it was a certain guy i don't want to be asked by. So i paused for the longest time, thinking what to do...i actually considered pretending i was my sister or something and saying, "no, she isn't available"...but i just stammered "yeah, this is denise." and MUCH TO MY RELIEF it was only Thomas, the editor, asking about my yearbook spread...i was like, "oh thank God!" BUUUT then along came close call #2....he started asking me about my spread and heh-heh i'm behind on it, so i was like, "uh..uh....uh...uh..." and then i think he got kind of mad about my interviews or something, but i dunno, maybe i was still panicky cuz i'd just felt relief that it was only Thomas on the phone and not some guy in my class....so i was paranoid, AND i've been stressed out about this spread for like a week now. Soooo after he hung up, i decided to get as much yearbook work done as possible...so i've done about 1/4 of my writing...hey, i'd finish the whole thing tonight if i could, i just don't have all the interviews done! ahh! i want to write them so badly...even if i stay up till 4 AM writing them, I WANNA GET THEM DONE! but i CAN'T! it's bugging me big-time!
Miss Marshall said we're gonna start writing poetry in May. YEE-HA! Call me a geek, people, but i actually LIKE writing poetry. It's the coolest! There's so much freedom in it....i mean, usually, putting down your feelings in a poem is about 10 times more fun than putting them down in a formal essay...though i do enjoy writing subjective essays...i hate the objective ones! they're kinda boring to write, heh heh heh....
I am in a total poem-writing mood right now....let me see....well, here's one that i wrote in study hall a long time ago....
I wish that i could hide, or at least fly
Away from this place
I'd live on the street and sell cigars
While pitching pebbles at passing cars
Pull my hat down over my eyes
So no one can see the tears I cry
Sprung from the bitterness welled inside
If only I could be free
Release the anger inside of me
Forgive those who have done me wrong
Lest I be ruined before long.
*ahem* feel free to chortle at my teenage angst. Now I feel like writing a sad love poem...weird, these days i have a thing for sad poetry...maybe i should write a book of poems and entitle it Poetry from The Pits of Despair.
You know, my real diary is pink and furry...i don't write in it like i do in this journal, but it's still pretty private. If someone finds it hidden beneath the floorboards 100 years from now and decides to publish it for fun, it should be named "Legends from the Book of Fur."
Vivian said my xanga post should be more emotional and heart-felt...well, too bad for xanga, if i'm not lazy, LJ will have more interesting posts (emotionally-wise) than xanga does. Why? Because hardly anyone at school reads this thing, there's friends-only posts, and i dunno...haha
I was petrified tonight. I started writing my yearbook article and...i COULD NOT write. I'm serious...the words, the thoughts...they wouldn't flow, they wouldn't come out. I got so frustrated, cuz i was writing all this junk that with juvenile sentence patterns and flow...I got freaked out and prayed really hard and suddenly, I could write again. I was calm, and my mind started functioning. Thanks, God...ur the best.
I'm trying to decide whether i should ask someone to the sophomore banquet....i mean, it's sadie hawkins and it'll probably be the last sadie hawkins banquet i'll go to, so if i don't ask someone, then i NEVER will, you know? so maybe i just should....it's something else i would've done in life...buuuut i am freaked out....so nervous....and who should i ask, hmmm.....and should i EVEN ask someone? having a date can be nerve-wrecking for me....but i mean, if i don't ask someone, then i'll never ask any guy again cuz i'll probably never get the opportunity. Opportunity is knocking - should i open the door?
I had two close calls today, and all on the same phone call. Well, i was playing my violin and i think i was thinking of the banquet at the same time, cuz when the phone rang and it was some guy, i panicked. he was like, "hello, is denise there?" and i DID NOT recognize the voice...i thought "oh no is it some guy who's gonna ask me to the banquet? cuz i don't wanna be asked..." and i thought it was a certain guy i don't want to be asked by. So i paused for the longest time, thinking what to do...i actually considered pretending i was my sister or something and saying, "no, she isn't available"...but i just stammered "yeah, this is denise." and MUCH TO MY RELIEF it was only Thomas, the editor, asking about my yearbook spread...i was like, "oh thank God!" BUUUT then along came close call #2....he started asking me about my spread and heh-heh i'm behind on it, so i was like, "uh..uh....uh...uh..." and then i think he got kind of mad about my interviews or something, but i dunno, maybe i was still panicky cuz i'd just felt relief that it was only Thomas on the phone and not some guy in my class....so i was paranoid, AND i've been stressed out about this spread for like a week now. Soooo after he hung up, i decided to get as much yearbook work done as possible...so i've done about 1/4 of my writing...hey, i'd finish the whole thing tonight if i could, i just don't have all the interviews done! ahh! i want to write them so badly...even if i stay up till 4 AM writing them, I WANNA GET THEM DONE! but i CAN'T! it's bugging me big-time!
Miss Marshall said we're gonna start writing poetry in May. YEE-HA! Call me a geek, people, but i actually LIKE writing poetry. It's the coolest! There's so much freedom in it....i mean, usually, putting down your feelings in a poem is about 10 times more fun than putting them down in a formal essay...though i do enjoy writing subjective essays...i hate the objective ones! they're kinda boring to write, heh heh heh....
I am in a total poem-writing mood right now....let me see....well, here's one that i wrote in study hall a long time ago....
I wish that i could hide, or at least fly
Away from this place
I'd live on the street and sell cigars
While pitching pebbles at passing cars
Pull my hat down over my eyes
So no one can see the tears I cry
Sprung from the bitterness welled inside
If only I could be free
Release the anger inside of me
Forgive those who have done me wrong
Lest I be ruined before long.
*ahem* feel free to chortle at my teenage angst. Now I feel like writing a sad love poem...weird, these days i have a thing for sad poetry...maybe i should write a book of poems and entitle it Poetry from The Pits of Despair.
You know, my real diary is pink and furry...i don't write in it like i do in this journal, but it's still pretty private. If someone finds it hidden beneath the floorboards 100 years from now and decides to publish it for fun, it should be named "Legends from the Book of Fur."