(no subject)
I pierced my ears with a third hole...again. Haha. Why pay money to get it done by someone else you don't even know or trust with a needle?
I was reletively energetic today... up until about 8 o'clock. Now I'm DEAD tired and still have a stupid bunch of studying to do.
I hate the cold. I miss warm summer nights on the beach with my closest friends/family. I miss warm summer nights in "downtown" Ludsville eating ice cream at HOF. I miss bonfires and skinny dipping in the lake when it's freaking FREEZing. I miss spending literally ALL DAY in "downtown" Pentwater where every single shop there I've been in at least 3 million times. I miss happy movie-nights with once again, my closest friends and family. I miss playing volleyball on the beach... well at least I tried. haha.
I just really miss spending all day long doing whatever, in the warm summer sun with the people that I've spent every summer with for the past 17 years. It's so weird to think that we're all (well, almost me...) in college now... living completely different lives so far away from each other.
How can this next summer, be my last summer like this? I have no idea what my life is going to bring me after this summer... and everyone's just going to get so caught up in their own lives. We've all grown up. It's kinda sad.
It's like, in the summer I feel soooo loved... let me explain.
-I'm not in school every day constantly feeling as if every move I make is being judged. In the summer, I live in my freaking bikini.
-In the summer, I know I'm with people who truely, truely love me. They don't care about my stupid laugh or what music is cool or in. When have showtunes or 80s dance ever been in? Besides in the 80s...
-They are NOT afraid to tell me they love me. They are not afraid at ALL to hug me at any point in time and they don't care who sees because it's not about image anymore. Image.
I can't stand school. There's way to much pressure on me to be all these things... I have to get a good grade in HAP, I have to get a better grade in the Classics, I have to play my parts perfectly in band and percussion, I have to understand all the concepts in math and I have to know exactly what is being said in German. I have to be on time to class every day; I can't fall asleep; I have to ask questions; I have to eat a healthy lunch; I have to get enough sleep and do all my homework at the same time; I have to look good; I have to be sociable; I have to be responsible; I have to set a good example...
I have to be god damn freaking perfect every god damn day.
All that- I have to do... when all I want to do is be with people who truely truely love me to death.
Isn't that the point of life anyway? Making the best of every day and this is what I'm given to work with? Teachers, professors, principles, counselors... you're all wrong. Getting a good education has god damn shit to do with whether I'm gonna have a good life or not. If I'm the most brilliant, rich business woman in the world all thanks to doing everything I'm supposed to do in school now... and I'm the most unhappy thing on earth... what the HELL was the point of all that hard work? What the f-ing fuck was the point of it? I wouldn't be happy so it's a wasted life.
Why do we listen to teachers and who not who tell us 'getting a good education is the most important thing in life' when we see examples all over the world of how unhappy rich, 'successful' people can be, and how happy even the poorest, unhealthiest people are??
My life is a waste of time if I'm not with people who actually care about me and love me, you know? It's a complete waste of time.
Well I just completely lost my train of thought due to a stupid 'bleep' on the computer.
Maybe I'm just feeling extra lonely today. You know when there's someone there that you know you should be with... you hear their voice and see them constantly, whether it just be in your mind or actually seeing them... but there's no way to be with them? And I don't just mean physically be with them.
*sigh* or am I really just extra-lonely today?
I was reletively energetic today... up until about 8 o'clock. Now I'm DEAD tired and still have a stupid bunch of studying to do.
I hate the cold. I miss warm summer nights on the beach with my closest friends/family. I miss warm summer nights in "downtown" Ludsville eating ice cream at HOF. I miss bonfires and skinny dipping in the lake when it's freaking FREEZing. I miss spending literally ALL DAY in "downtown" Pentwater where every single shop there I've been in at least 3 million times. I miss happy movie-nights with once again, my closest friends and family. I miss playing volleyball on the beach... well at least I tried. haha.
I just really miss spending all day long doing whatever, in the warm summer sun with the people that I've spent every summer with for the past 17 years. It's so weird to think that we're all (well, almost me...) in college now... living completely different lives so far away from each other.
How can this next summer, be my last summer like this? I have no idea what my life is going to bring me after this summer... and everyone's just going to get so caught up in their own lives. We've all grown up. It's kinda sad.
It's like, in the summer I feel soooo loved... let me explain.
-I'm not in school every day constantly feeling as if every move I make is being judged. In the summer, I live in my freaking bikini.
-In the summer, I know I'm with people who truely, truely love me. They don't care about my stupid laugh or what music is cool or in. When have showtunes or 80s dance ever been in? Besides in the 80s...
-They are NOT afraid to tell me they love me. They are not afraid at ALL to hug me at any point in time and they don't care who sees because it's not about image anymore. Image.
I can't stand school. There's way to much pressure on me to be all these things... I have to get a good grade in HAP, I have to get a better grade in the Classics, I have to play my parts perfectly in band and percussion, I have to understand all the concepts in math and I have to know exactly what is being said in German. I have to be on time to class every day; I can't fall asleep; I have to ask questions; I have to eat a healthy lunch; I have to get enough sleep and do all my homework at the same time; I have to look good; I have to be sociable; I have to be responsible; I have to set a good example...
I have to be god damn freaking perfect every god damn day.
All that- I have to do... when all I want to do is be with people who truely truely love me to death.
Isn't that the point of life anyway? Making the best of every day and this is what I'm given to work with? Teachers, professors, principles, counselors... you're all wrong. Getting a good education has god damn shit to do with whether I'm gonna have a good life or not. If I'm the most brilliant, rich business woman in the world all thanks to doing everything I'm supposed to do in school now... and I'm the most unhappy thing on earth... what the HELL was the point of all that hard work? What the f-ing fuck was the point of it? I wouldn't be happy so it's a wasted life.
Why do we listen to teachers and who not who tell us 'getting a good education is the most important thing in life' when we see examples all over the world of how unhappy rich, 'successful' people can be, and how happy even the poorest, unhealthiest people are??
My life is a waste of time if I'm not with people who actually care about me and love me, you know? It's a complete waste of time.
Well I just completely lost my train of thought due to a stupid 'bleep' on the computer.
Maybe I'm just feeling extra lonely today. You know when there's someone there that you know you should be with... you hear their voice and see them constantly, whether it just be in your mind or actually seeing them... but there's no way to be with them? And I don't just mean physically be with them.
*sigh* or am I really just extra-lonely today?