(no subject)
So fuck this mono shit. It's getting seriously old. It's like a constant feeling of shittyness... neverending... except I swear to god NO ONE understands at all how shitty it actually makes me feel.
I get out of breath SO easily like... walking up ONE flight of stairs and I have to sit down for like 5 minutes. I pick up or move something (like a Timpani drum, for example) and I feel as if I'm going to pass out.
I can't wake up even with my alarm clock, my mom has to drag me out of bed (for some of you that's normal, haha, but I usually wake up really easily)... and I'm dead tired by 3pm, ready for bed again.
I can't think or concentrate during school and I'm just falling asleep in all of my classes... pissing the teachers off.
Plus, my doctor told me I'm not allowed to work out for at least 3 months... and I'm gaining weight... which is definitely the LAST thing in the WORLD I want to do right now. And it fuckin sucks... being a girl, you know? There's so much fuckin pressure on me to be thin... and I freaking can't do it. (And if you're thinking of commenting something like 'Kate you're beautiful and thin, you have nothing to worry about... please don't... it has no effect on me now.)
AND I feel especially bad because I'm just not the same me anymore. The normal, healthy me is a happy-go-lucky giggly person who ALWAYS has something to talk about... now I'm just an unhappy, boring, untalkative blob who's absolutely NO fun to be around EVER.
Other than all that, life isn't bad. Haha. Yeah except the whole 'parents' thing and the whole 'school' thing and the whole 'Michigan' thing...
I'm honestly considering moving to England next year, you know... after I graduate... 'cause if I don't get in to UofM, I really have no reason for staying here. I don't WANT to be here, even though there are TONS of people here I love to death and would miss like crazy... but leaving the States is just something I need to do for myself... it's been long awaited and it'll be really good for me and my *mental health* lol... I'm serious though.
So if you (serioiusly) would go to England with me for a year or so... lemme know 'cause I'd do it.
Anyway... I apologize for the bitchy, whiny complainy tone of this entry but I'm just in that sort of mood. Please leave me worthwhile comments. Loves and kisses *muah*
I get out of breath SO easily like... walking up ONE flight of stairs and I have to sit down for like 5 minutes. I pick up or move something (like a Timpani drum, for example) and I feel as if I'm going to pass out.
I can't wake up even with my alarm clock, my mom has to drag me out of bed (for some of you that's normal, haha, but I usually wake up really easily)... and I'm dead tired by 3pm, ready for bed again.
I can't think or concentrate during school and I'm just falling asleep in all of my classes... pissing the teachers off.
Plus, my doctor told me I'm not allowed to work out for at least 3 months... and I'm gaining weight... which is definitely the LAST thing in the WORLD I want to do right now. And it fuckin sucks... being a girl, you know? There's so much fuckin pressure on me to be thin... and I freaking can't do it. (And if you're thinking of commenting something like 'Kate you're beautiful and thin, you have nothing to worry about... please don't... it has no effect on me now.)
AND I feel especially bad because I'm just not the same me anymore. The normal, healthy me is a happy-go-lucky giggly person who ALWAYS has something to talk about... now I'm just an unhappy, boring, untalkative blob who's absolutely NO fun to be around EVER.
Other than all that, life isn't bad. Haha. Yeah except the whole 'parents' thing and the whole 'school' thing and the whole 'Michigan' thing...
I'm honestly considering moving to England next year, you know... after I graduate... 'cause if I don't get in to UofM, I really have no reason for staying here. I don't WANT to be here, even though there are TONS of people here I love to death and would miss like crazy... but leaving the States is just something I need to do for myself... it's been long awaited and it'll be really good for me and my *mental health* lol... I'm serious though.
So if you (serioiusly) would go to England with me for a year or so... lemme know 'cause I'd do it.
Anyway... I apologize for the bitchy, whiny complainy tone of this entry but I'm just in that sort of mood. Please leave me worthwhile comments. Loves and kisses *muah*