(no subject)
Really wanted to go to the gym tonight but the muscle aches got the better of me so I will be going tomorrow which really messes me trying to go every other day. Just means I will try to go on saturday or sunday at some point...again depending on those muscles!!
Went to the beach yesterday, last minute thing, I went to work at 7 just so I could finish at 12 to go. It was really nice. Just everything was calm, there were some bad memories that came over me for a bit but I managed to push them aside to just let go for a little while.
I found something new to like about it, something that I knew couldn't hurt me. Finding the patience and space to just breath and be somewhere else where no-one knew me and to just lie back onto my rug listening to the ocean rawing all around me. The rocks digged into my back but for some reason they didn't disturb me too much.
The temperature was just so right. It was perfect. And for one day everything felt perfect.
And now I'm back here...lol
And so is life, I can't wait till the day I can just disappear. I know myself so I have no reason to find it, but I just want to disappear and be in another place where I can build a new image of everything from nothing. Loose old memories and replace with new ones.
I know I will learn that no-one is different, everyone behaves the same way but that will be my cushion to catch my head from the clouds.
I really want to go back to the coast, I can't imagine anything better than being bored and just walking up to the beach to relax. All I have is a park and alot of young adolescents that know no better about keeping their mouths shut for a second and actually thinking about what they are going to say.
Instead now, I'm going to go lie on my bed and listen to everything, eyes shut. Smelling the last sea breeze air on my clothes before it fades. I pray to have happy thoughts like this and I will cherish this one for however long it stays before the dark clouds come and the rain washes it away.
Went to the beach yesterday, last minute thing, I went to work at 7 just so I could finish at 12 to go. It was really nice. Just everything was calm, there were some bad memories that came over me for a bit but I managed to push them aside to just let go for a little while.
I found something new to like about it, something that I knew couldn't hurt me. Finding the patience and space to just breath and be somewhere else where no-one knew me and to just lie back onto my rug listening to the ocean rawing all around me. The rocks digged into my back but for some reason they didn't disturb me too much.
The temperature was just so right. It was perfect. And for one day everything felt perfect.
And now I'm back here...lol
And so is life, I can't wait till the day I can just disappear. I know myself so I have no reason to find it, but I just want to disappear and be in another place where I can build a new image of everything from nothing. Loose old memories and replace with new ones.
I know I will learn that no-one is different, everyone behaves the same way but that will be my cushion to catch my head from the clouds.
I really want to go back to the coast, I can't imagine anything better than being bored and just walking up to the beach to relax. All I have is a park and alot of young adolescents that know no better about keeping their mouths shut for a second and actually thinking about what they are going to say.
Instead now, I'm going to go lie on my bed and listen to everything, eyes shut. Smelling the last sea breeze air on my clothes before it fades. I pray to have happy thoughts like this and I will cherish this one for however long it stays before the dark clouds come and the rain washes it away.