Purging
So I've been feeling so angry lately about being fat and I'm taking it out on everyone else, ie by being bitchy. Well, today I ate two packets of oatmeal(180cals each) and chocolate yogurt(60cals). I also had a little bit of lemonade while shopping in the mall. Then, I got lost getting home and no one answered to help me get home so I was flipping out... I was mad that I went shopping in the first place, felt like I didnt even deserve it. By the time I got home I'd decided to binge and purge... I ate three pieces of pizza with sipping milk (helps it come up easier along with lots of chewing) and then I ate leftover steak and noodles. Started freaking to puke right away but had to wait till sister was outta the bathroom... no one could hear because I started filling the tub up for a bath afterwards (sneaky, I know). Needless to say, I puked it all up and phew, did I feel better!!! The other night I was out with friends drinking at a party and like I realized once I was buzzed that I could puke up nmost of the alcohol... got rid of some calories that way. Earlier that night I puked up shells n cheese, chicken and beans! I haven't weighed myself in a week but I'm sure combined with this purging and decreased cal intake and increased exercise that I'm bound to have lost something! Tomorrow I'm buying diet pills, you can lose 2x the weight. So kudos... !
Sigh... I'm going to get skinny again, right ladies? Right? God, I feel so desperate...angry... sad... I guess being angry or desperate is better, it fuels me to keep losing. Being sad is just pointless anymore. No more sadness this New Year... just determination!
Sigh... I'm going to get skinny again, right ladies? Right? God, I feel so desperate...angry... sad... I guess being angry or desperate is better, it fuels me to keep losing. Being sad is just pointless anymore. No more sadness this New Year... just determination!