the hardest decision yet.
alrite guys, its been awhile since ive posted but theres some things i need to get off my chest.
okay. here it goes.
well things at home..not the best ever. and its killing me. ive never felt so alone, especially around this holiday season. its hard to explain and just it let out. ive heard from everyone " your the strongest person i know, you can make it through this". but i cant. i dont want to be strong anymore, i dont want to make it through it by myself anymore.. its so hard to let everything just slide right past me and not let it affect me. i cant take all this anymore. i swear one day..im just going to break. ya, i dont give a shit if u say im being depressed, because guess wat.... I KNOW. i just want everything to be okay for once at home. i want my mom to be happy for once. i want to see her smile and not fake it. i want my family to become one again..not fall apart. my dad doesnt have a job still, and thats really stressfull on my parents. my brother..lets just not go there. for once, i want to be able to just be happy and have no problems. i wish i was 7 again, because i didnt have any problems to deal with. everything was just a piece of cake. i hate to say it but i hate being this age. everything is so stressfull and time is going by so fast! next thing u know, ill be 25 years old and single. haha okay. maybe not, but still. im scared to get to the future, but im sick of the " these are the best years of ur life" bullshit. people in highschool are so fake. ive come to learn who my real friends are, and who i thought they were.why does everything right now have to be so frustrating..?
okay. here it goes.
well things at home..not the best ever. and its killing me. ive never felt so alone, especially around this holiday season. its hard to explain and just it let out. ive heard from everyone " your the strongest person i know, you can make it through this". but i cant. i dont want to be strong anymore, i dont want to make it through it by myself anymore.. its so hard to let everything just slide right past me and not let it affect me. i cant take all this anymore. i swear one day..im just going to break. ya, i dont give a shit if u say im being depressed, because guess wat.... I KNOW. i just want everything to be okay for once at home. i want my mom to be happy for once. i want to see her smile and not fake it. i want my family to become one again..not fall apart. my dad doesnt have a job still, and thats really stressfull on my parents. my brother..lets just not go there. for once, i want to be able to just be happy and have no problems. i wish i was 7 again, because i didnt have any problems to deal with. everything was just a piece of cake. i hate to say it but i hate being this age. everything is so stressfull and time is going by so fast! next thing u know, ill be 25 years old and single. haha okay. maybe not, but still. im scared to get to the future, but im sick of the " these are the best years of ur life" bullshit. people in highschool are so fake. ive come to learn who my real friends are, and who i thought they were.why does everything right now have to be so frustrating..?