(no subject)
poem for the day:
LIES
i'll keep singing my songs out loud
trying my best to drown out the sound
of your voice
i'm holding my breath and screaming inside
i feel lost like a meek naive child
and it's your fault
you told me one thing and that was a lie
i talked to her and she clariyfied
you broke a promise
i know that i'm a little to blame
but i didn't think you were the one to play games
you are insufficient
i have really tried to see from your point of view
but this point is even seeming kind of stale to you
so fuck it
i can't stand the noise of a lie, especially if it's to me
i'm drowning in this fog of a heartache.not knowing what to see
your losing me
this time on the wall hasn't moved for weeks
and your secrets i'm still willing to keep
i'm losing you
i'm running in corcles waiting on you
to do what i know you know is right for me and you
but you're stalling
i can't imagine this life without your love
but you make it to where i feel like giving up
please don't lie to me...
she sat alone as usual, well not really alone. she was actually surrounded by people...so called friends. yet she felt invisible or exiled and accepted at the same time. she was tolerated but not glorified. she was okay with that, she never really was the goddess type.
"hey there..." it was his voice that shocked her to reality..
"hi..." she replied meekly
"so what have you been up to?" he asked
"not a whole lot,just sitting around" she glanced around the cafeteria and realized she was standing.
"you know what? you should come with me to meet my new girlfriend..." he pushed his curly hair away from his forehead revealing his beautiful eyes...
"eh, i dont know," she brushed her dark hair away from her face"okay then" she just wanted to be close to him really.
they walked down the aisle of the cafeteria and she felt the eyes on her. everyone knew about their past and she could feel the questions of her accompianment to him. they hadn't walked together in forever.
"hey babe!" he called to a cute little blonde girl standing at the door to a classroom."this is my like my best friend" he nodded towards her. she felt a twinge of jealousy surge through her body and imagined herslef kicking blonde girl in the face several hundred times....
"hey." she said without emotion. she hated this girl and she doesn't even know her. it was a horrible feeling...
suddenly she felt a wave of anger flow thorugh her body. she quickly walked away unnoticed, as usual. she decided to go sit in her first period class alone but with the door open. she liked just watching the people live their lives. not knowing how ridiculous they looked sometimes or how beautiful or how mean. she loved people but hated them in the same breath. she watched him and blonde girl walk down the hallway with their fingers intertwined and she singed her own heart thinking about it. she still loved him. her deep blue eyes shed a few tears but then she got the nerve to choke them back. she would NOT cry today...not today. they stung the back of her eyes so bad she almost let out a whimper. she wished she could just ball up and disappear sometimes. but then again you would never know it.
she prepared herself for first period. she had to make it an especially good show today. she fixed her makeup and adjusted her hair back into place. she took her place as beauty queen.he waked into the room and sat in his seat across the room. she was in view for him. he raised a hand to acknowlegde her. she smiled a very fake and prideful smile. all the foolish boys in the class passed her notes and told her corny jokes and thought they had a chance in hell with her. they didn't. not one of them could possibly fill the void he had left in her. she ached for him to touch her again, for him to kiss her on the forehead like he used to, for him to just smile the smile for her. the one that made her feel like cyanide and stickers inside. the kind of smile that reeked of love, that puked rainbows. she just wanted him back, but it hadn't worked and may never again. she hated his new girfriend...so much. it should have been her in his arms. she had never felt her break as much as it did when she saw them hand in hand.
she flipped her hair and smiled her coy smile at the goofy freshmen prep at her right, after all she had to make it a good show to cover up all the hurt inside. she made sure he knew every note that was passed and every smile flashed and every wink given. surely he didn't give a damn but she wouldn't let him know she cared if it did or not... she winked at the decent looking boy and passed him a note with her number.he didn't seem so bad she thought, maybe this one will be a little fun even. might as well start a new sub-story again today...she can't let him,or herslef, know she hurts...
LIES
i'll keep singing my songs out loud
trying my best to drown out the sound
of your voice
i'm holding my breath and screaming inside
i feel lost like a meek naive child
and it's your fault
you told me one thing and that was a lie
i talked to her and she clariyfied
you broke a promise
i know that i'm a little to blame
but i didn't think you were the one to play games
you are insufficient
i have really tried to see from your point of view
but this point is even seeming kind of stale to you
so fuck it
i can't stand the noise of a lie, especially if it's to me
i'm drowning in this fog of a heartache.not knowing what to see
your losing me
this time on the wall hasn't moved for weeks
and your secrets i'm still willing to keep
i'm losing you
i'm running in corcles waiting on you
to do what i know you know is right for me and you
but you're stalling
i can't imagine this life without your love
but you make it to where i feel like giving up
please don't lie to me...
she sat alone as usual, well not really alone. she was actually surrounded by people...so called friends. yet she felt invisible or exiled and accepted at the same time. she was tolerated but not glorified. she was okay with that, she never really was the goddess type.
"hey there..." it was his voice that shocked her to reality..
"hi..." she replied meekly
"so what have you been up to?" he asked
"not a whole lot,just sitting around" she glanced around the cafeteria and realized she was standing.
"you know what? you should come with me to meet my new girlfriend..." he pushed his curly hair away from his forehead revealing his beautiful eyes...
"eh, i dont know," she brushed her dark hair away from her face"okay then" she just wanted to be close to him really.
they walked down the aisle of the cafeteria and she felt the eyes on her. everyone knew about their past and she could feel the questions of her accompianment to him. they hadn't walked together in forever.
"hey babe!" he called to a cute little blonde girl standing at the door to a classroom."this is my like my best friend" he nodded towards her. she felt a twinge of jealousy surge through her body and imagined herslef kicking blonde girl in the face several hundred times....
"hey." she said without emotion. she hated this girl and she doesn't even know her. it was a horrible feeling...
suddenly she felt a wave of anger flow thorugh her body. she quickly walked away unnoticed, as usual. she decided to go sit in her first period class alone but with the door open. she liked just watching the people live their lives. not knowing how ridiculous they looked sometimes or how beautiful or how mean. she loved people but hated them in the same breath. she watched him and blonde girl walk down the hallway with their fingers intertwined and she singed her own heart thinking about it. she still loved him. her deep blue eyes shed a few tears but then she got the nerve to choke them back. she would NOT cry today...not today. they stung the back of her eyes so bad she almost let out a whimper. she wished she could just ball up and disappear sometimes. but then again you would never know it.
she prepared herself for first period. she had to make it an especially good show today. she fixed her makeup and adjusted her hair back into place. she took her place as beauty queen.he waked into the room and sat in his seat across the room. she was in view for him. he raised a hand to acknowlegde her. she smiled a very fake and prideful smile. all the foolish boys in the class passed her notes and told her corny jokes and thought they had a chance in hell with her. they didn't. not one of them could possibly fill the void he had left in her. she ached for him to touch her again, for him to kiss her on the forehead like he used to, for him to just smile the smile for her. the one that made her feel like cyanide and stickers inside. the kind of smile that reeked of love, that puked rainbows. she just wanted him back, but it hadn't worked and may never again. she hated his new girfriend...so much. it should have been her in his arms. she had never felt her break as much as it did when she saw them hand in hand.
she flipped her hair and smiled her coy smile at the goofy freshmen prep at her right, after all she had to make it a good show to cover up all the hurt inside. she made sure he knew every note that was passed and every smile flashed and every wink given. surely he didn't give a damn but she wouldn't let him know she cared if it did or not... she winked at the decent looking boy and passed him a note with her number.he didn't seem so bad she thought, maybe this one will be a little fun even. might as well start a new sub-story again today...she can't let him,or herslef, know she hurts...