haha these r hilarious
Reasons for Being French
* When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
* Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
* You get to eat insect food like snails and frog''s legs.
* If there''s a war you can surrender really early.
* You don''t have to read the subtitles on those late night films on TV.
* You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people''s countries.
* You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
* Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
* You don''t have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.
* People think you''re a great lover even when you''re not.
Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen?
People were confused about which side to spit on
Made in Canada
A Canadian was in France, out of his wallet he removed a stick of gum he had from the airport in Canada, and started to chew it. He walked into a French coffee shop and sat himself beside an English speaking French man.
Frenchman: In Canada, what do you do with your used tires?
Canadian: We send em to France to get turned into paper plates.
French man: What do you do with your used plastic bags?
Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble) We send em to France to get turned into a gold ring. Hey, what do you do with your used comdoms?
French man: we send em to Canada to get turned into bubble gum.
On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman, 2 French men and 1 French woman, 2 German men and 1 German woman, 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman, 2 English men and 1 English woman, 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman, 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman, 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman, 2 New Zealander men and 1 New Zealander woman, 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman, 2 American men and 1 American woman. One month later, the following things have occurred....
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together, having loads of sex.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.
The two Australian men beat each other senseless fighting over the Australian woman, who called them both “bloody wankers” and is checking out all the other men.
Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.
The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.
The American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinions and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is mproving. The two American men have committed suicide.
Le Stinkers
Why do the French Smell?
So blind people can hate them too!
What do you call 20 French politicians face down in the Channel?
A start.
* When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
* Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
* You get to eat insect food like snails and frog''s legs.
* If there''s a war you can surrender really early.
* You don''t have to read the subtitles on those late night films on TV.
* You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people''s countries.
* You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
* Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
* You don''t have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.
* People think you''re a great lover even when you''re not.
Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen?
People were confused about which side to spit on
Made in Canada
A Canadian was in France, out of his wallet he removed a stick of gum he had from the airport in Canada, and started to chew it. He walked into a French coffee shop and sat himself beside an English speaking French man.
Frenchman: In Canada, what do you do with your used tires?
Canadian: We send em to France to get turned into paper plates.
French man: What do you do with your used plastic bags?
Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble) We send em to France to get turned into a gold ring. Hey, what do you do with your used comdoms?
French man: we send em to Canada to get turned into bubble gum.
On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman, 2 French men and 1 French woman, 2 German men and 1 German woman, 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman, 2 English men and 1 English woman, 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman, 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman, 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman, 2 New Zealander men and 1 New Zealander woman, 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman, 2 American men and 1 American woman. One month later, the following things have occurred....
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together, having loads of sex.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.
The two Australian men beat each other senseless fighting over the Australian woman, who called them both “bloody wankers” and is checking out all the other men.
Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.
The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.
The American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinions and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is mproving. The two American men have committed suicide.
Le Stinkers
Why do the French Smell?
So blind people can hate them too!
What do you call 20 French politicians face down in the Channel?
A start.