A bit of the dramatics for the girl who needs the musical experience!
Have you ever contained a passion for something that has been a passion for almost the whole of your life? I have, Music. It goes beyond a hobbie, an interest, an activity for enjoyment! It is so much apart of who I am that it is part of the definition of me.
Since being here that vital part of me has been squelched to what feels like almost nothing. I get to listen to the music I like (not w/o complaint of course) but I do not get to take it and make it my own the way I used to be able to do. Furthermore I do not get to make music just for the sake of making it the way I got to in choir in high school.
I never realized how much this decrease was going to effect me. I am yearning for the chance to just sing! To sing at the volume I want, so that I can hit each note just the way it is supposed to be hit, so that if I make the inevitable mistake I can hear just how wrong it is so that I can just do it again and again until I get it right!
But I am stuck just sitting here listening to my music on my headphones so as to not to annoy the people in here and not getting the chance to just make the music, to connect with it, to make it apart of my being.
Grrrr how I miss that aspect of my life before college. The listening to my music in my own room singing my heart out. The practicing during choir. The working on Bach until I think I am going to choke. The weekly voice lessons where I get to explore various styles and languages. The weekly worship team practice and the weekly performance at church. The practicing of self-discipline required to work on my choir, worship team, and voice lesson pieces!
Argh! I need it, I am quite certain I am going to explode! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!
2 weeks and I get to go and sing in the room that is not really mine anymore and just let the music take over, ease the pains I have endured thanks to NAT these last few weeks, ease the stress, the tiredness, the lonliness...just overtake me and heal, the way it used to, the way I need it to!
Since being here that vital part of me has been squelched to what feels like almost nothing. I get to listen to the music I like (not w/o complaint of course) but I do not get to take it and make it my own the way I used to be able to do. Furthermore I do not get to make music just for the sake of making it the way I got to in choir in high school.
I never realized how much this decrease was going to effect me. I am yearning for the chance to just sing! To sing at the volume I want, so that I can hit each note just the way it is supposed to be hit, so that if I make the inevitable mistake I can hear just how wrong it is so that I can just do it again and again until I get it right!
But I am stuck just sitting here listening to my music on my headphones so as to not to annoy the people in here and not getting the chance to just make the music, to connect with it, to make it apart of my being.
Grrrr how I miss that aspect of my life before college. The listening to my music in my own room singing my heart out. The practicing during choir. The working on Bach until I think I am going to choke. The weekly voice lessons where I get to explore various styles and languages. The weekly worship team practice and the weekly performance at church. The practicing of self-discipline required to work on my choir, worship team, and voice lesson pieces!
Argh! I need it, I am quite certain I am going to explode! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!
2 weeks and I get to go and sing in the room that is not really mine anymore and just let the music take over, ease the pains I have endured thanks to NAT these last few weeks, ease the stress, the tiredness, the lonliness...just overtake me and heal, the way it used to, the way I need it to!