(no subject)

[prettybabe25]

guys are funny... really they are... the ones I like must have somehting in common because they keep trying to analyze what I do and they keep hurting me... the ones I don't like are the ones who think they would never hurt me but are just plain too immature.... I took a test the other day, guess what guys... I'm 28 inside... I'm at the point where I am going numb. I almost can't feel anything. The next hurt I suffer will probably be the end of me as you all know me now.. I'll end up a clam that can't feel anything and won't let anyone in for as long as its within their power. I'm looking for.. someone who won't make me think too hard (I do enough of that during the week. I don't want to think about where we should go out to eat or what movie to see), I'm looking for someone who will come home with me and help me understand my family, someone who will look out for my little brother better than I can, someone who will go somewhere he really would rather not be just to keep me company while I have to be there. I want someone who will notice me dancing in a corner by myself and come join me just so I can say that I had one real dance...(thanks John [and Beth ;-)]) I want somebody who will come hang out with me and my roommate and my other friends and just kindof be friends with everybody. Someone who can live with the crazy realities of my life. I'm sick of being by myself... theres something missing from my life and as far as I can tell its a guy who will truly care about me. I want someone like Meghan's Josh. Thats a great guy right there. He really loves her and I'm glad for that because I know she's happy when they're together. I want someone like Marlene's Shawn, who calls her his princess and who I hear him say he loves her, truly loves her for her, almost twice a day. I want a Nathan like Laura has, or a Saeed like Heidi has... All these guys make their girls feel loved and special and happy... Why can't I have that? Why can't I be happy like that? Don't get me wrong I love my life for the most part but as I said earlier theres just something else missing. I love the Meadow Brook Ball Committee and the Swing and Salsa Club. And the Crafts for the Cold when it gets started is going to be lots of fun! I love working at Meadow Brook Theater and although I don't always like Linguistics I don't mind it because I can use the phone and the computers when I need to. I like living in the dorms because I get to be close to my friends. I miss my dog and my grandma but I hear from her almost every day and if I find a ride I can go see my dog at home whenever I want to..

this is how I feel right now, Marlene and Meghan found the song for me:

Saliva - Rest in Pieces

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again
Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did
It has not healed with time
It just shot down my spine _ You look so beautiful tonight
Remind me how you laid us down
And gently smiled before you destroyed my life
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
Would you find it in your heart?
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
Would you find it in your heart?
To make it go away
And let me rest in pieces
Look at me, my depth perception must be off again
You got much closer than I thought you did
I'm in your reach
You held me in your hands
But could you find it in your heart?
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
Would you find it in your heart?
To make it go away
And let me rest in