i just felt the world spin
Where they understand the weight of human hearts
You see, sorrow gets too heavy and joy it tends to hold you
With the fear that it eventually departs
And the truth is I’ve been dreaming of some tired tranquil place
Where the weather won’t get trapped inside my bones
so. i know i havent writen anything in about 12 years. and im sorry. sometimes writing it all down and actually realzing whats going on. makes it real. and i cant say i wanted it to be.
so therefore. i'm not going to waste my time rehashing most of it
i miss summer. a lot. fall always depresses the shit out of me. its beautiful and i love the way it feels but something just happens to me in the fall and i cant handle life. i cant handle the way i feel. i cant handle myself. and everything from last falls coming rushing back to my brain. i wish it would stay away. and all the good feelings that i had and all the happiness that was here comes back and reminds me of how it was and god it hurts. i miss how happy you made me. and how fresh and new everything was. god it was so exciting. and i was so happy. its hard to think that you made me that happy.
And I felt I was on fire, with the things I could have told you
I just assumed that you eventually would ask
And I wouldn’t have to bring up my so badly broken heart
And all those months I just wanted to sleep
And though spring, it did come slowly, I guess it did its part
My heart has thawed and continues to beat
this process of letting go is slowly happening. i still feel all the pain and the hurt. and the missing you but slowly ever so slowly. its starting to fade not in huge amounts. but its starting to. i met someone. i think im starting to like him. its the weirdest feeling in the world
And we talked about our childhood
like a dream we were convinced of
That perfect, peaceful street that we came from
And I know he heard me strumming all those sad and simple chords
As I sat inside my room so long ago
And it hurts that he’s still shaking from those secrets that were told
By a car closed up too tight and a heart turned cold
i just said something to my friend and i'd never really had the words to say it before i suppose. i've felt like it forever. but its never really been able to be said. im not sure why
i don't feel like i'm living. i dont feel much anymore. minus the incessant hurt and pain. i feel like im sitting back and watching someone. or watching life happen. i'm not too sure. but i think thats not how its supposed to feel. i have no emotions less my saddness. i got a new car today its nice. i should be happy. i should at least feel something like some shift of emotion. but right now i could careless. i'm not happy. im not sad by it. im not thrilled that i finally have a cd player in my car. my best friends birthdays tomorrow. or rather today. i got to see her so much this week. considering i dont ever get to anymore cause i live two hours away. that doesnt even make me feel anything. its not that im not feeling happy. its that im not feeling anything at all. i feel empty and lonely. and hurt. never ending pain
I guess that something’s gotta happen soon
Cause I know I can’t keep living in this dead or dying dream
As I walked along the beach and drank with her
I thought about my true love, the one I really need
With eyes that burn so bright, they make me pure
You see, sorrow gets too heavy and joy it tends to hold you
With the fear that it eventually departs
And the truth is I’ve been dreaming of some tired tranquil place
Where the weather won’t get trapped inside my bones
so. i know i havent writen anything in about 12 years. and im sorry. sometimes writing it all down and actually realzing whats going on. makes it real. and i cant say i wanted it to be.
so therefore. i'm not going to waste my time rehashing most of it
i miss summer. a lot. fall always depresses the shit out of me. its beautiful and i love the way it feels but something just happens to me in the fall and i cant handle life. i cant handle the way i feel. i cant handle myself. and everything from last falls coming rushing back to my brain. i wish it would stay away. and all the good feelings that i had and all the happiness that was here comes back and reminds me of how it was and god it hurts. i miss how happy you made me. and how fresh and new everything was. god it was so exciting. and i was so happy. its hard to think that you made me that happy.
And I felt I was on fire, with the things I could have told you
I just assumed that you eventually would ask
And I wouldn’t have to bring up my so badly broken heart
And all those months I just wanted to sleep
And though spring, it did come slowly, I guess it did its part
My heart has thawed and continues to beat
this process of letting go is slowly happening. i still feel all the pain and the hurt. and the missing you but slowly ever so slowly. its starting to fade not in huge amounts. but its starting to. i met someone. i think im starting to like him. its the weirdest feeling in the world
And we talked about our childhood
like a dream we were convinced of
That perfect, peaceful street that we came from
And I know he heard me strumming all those sad and simple chords
As I sat inside my room so long ago
And it hurts that he’s still shaking from those secrets that were told
By a car closed up too tight and a heart turned cold
i just said something to my friend and i'd never really had the words to say it before i suppose. i've felt like it forever. but its never really been able to be said. im not sure why
i don't feel like i'm living. i dont feel much anymore. minus the incessant hurt and pain. i feel like im sitting back and watching someone. or watching life happen. i'm not too sure. but i think thats not how its supposed to feel. i have no emotions less my saddness. i got a new car today its nice. i should be happy. i should at least feel something like some shift of emotion. but right now i could careless. i'm not happy. im not sad by it. im not thrilled that i finally have a cd player in my car. my best friends birthdays tomorrow. or rather today. i got to see her so much this week. considering i dont ever get to anymore cause i live two hours away. that doesnt even make me feel anything. its not that im not feeling happy. its that im not feeling anything at all. i feel empty and lonely. and hurt. never ending pain
I guess that something’s gotta happen soon
Cause I know I can’t keep living in this dead or dying dream
As I walked along the beach and drank with her
I thought about my true love, the one I really need
With eyes that burn so bright, they make me pure