Codename: Perfect-Boyfriend-Gone-Wrong
I always say how I don't need you, but it always comes right back to this. Please...don't leave me.
This is such an emotive post, and I hope me and my LJ friends would be the only ones to read this. That line (above) reminds me of you, and though I was technically the one who left you, I feel bad about it. Sometimes, I dream about you. I care for you, still. I miss you, but I'm really not that brave to say it out loud. I don't know how you feel, and how I wish I could peep into your mind even for a second, for me to know how you're coping with our break-up.
Quite frankly, I'm coping up well. This break-up is empowering, in a sense, because I did something I failed to do in my relationships before: that is, to end a relationship I well know would be a goner. It's just that, I feel bad that we died rather prematurely. Of course not literally, I mean our relationship, everything we had, it used to be so smooth. Whenever I'm reminiscing about you, it's always us laughing and understanding each other as if we have our own code and no one else could understand but us. You and I jive so well, you used to be my boyfriend and my best friend. We kick it old school. I thought you would last, but...
Well, shyeah we ended alright. Things dwindled, you didn't quite understand. I was busy, you were busy too. But during our fifth month you went from my caring, loving boyfriend to borderline asshole. On top of that I know what you did, you were texting another girl when we were on the rocks. Well okay, I give you that, 'cause I'm going out with my ex at that time too. The point is, you weren't that loyal to begin with. You left me hanging when I needed you most, and words that came out of your mouth during our last days together were hurtful and I don't deserve any of that. You didn't act responsibly, and you well know that.
I guess what I'm saying is, if you didn't behave the way you did, things would have been better between us. And as much as I feel sorry for us, now that we are apart, I still stand by my decision. Maybe I just didn't expect this to end so soon, but I know it would've been worse for both of us if we stayed a little longer. I guess what I've learned from this is that finding the right person for you will remain a freaking mystery. Magazines and self-help books could give out tons and tons of tips on how to "snag a great boyfriend!", or "check out his bf potential!" of some sort but really, you are the epitome of the PERFECT BOYFRIEND GONE WRONG. You have the qualifications of a keeper, but somewhere down the road you fell short. It saddens me, but I still believe this is for the better.
I say this, not out of bitterness, but in an attempt to understand and justify what happened to us. As I've said, you were a great boyfriend...but not quite. You weren't MOTOLITE, unlike what you said before. We have a lot of fun memories together, it's been a good 5 months. I even feel like our 5 months together surpassed (emotion-wise) my other, rather longer relationships. I guess I forgot to really thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything that we've been through and the lessons you've taught me, whether or not you're conscious about it. Thank you, sorry, and I loved you so much. I think I still do, or maybe I just miss you. If ever you see me again, I hope you'd talk to me.
This is such an emotive post, and I hope me and my LJ friends would be the only ones to read this. That line (above) reminds me of you, and though I was technically the one who left you, I feel bad about it. Sometimes, I dream about you. I care for you, still. I miss you, but I'm really not that brave to say it out loud. I don't know how you feel, and how I wish I could peep into your mind even for a second, for me to know how you're coping with our break-up.
Quite frankly, I'm coping up well. This break-up is empowering, in a sense, because I did something I failed to do in my relationships before: that is, to end a relationship I well know would be a goner. It's just that, I feel bad that we died rather prematurely. Of course not literally, I mean our relationship, everything we had, it used to be so smooth. Whenever I'm reminiscing about you, it's always us laughing and understanding each other as if we have our own code and no one else could understand but us. You and I jive so well, you used to be my boyfriend and my best friend. We kick it old school. I thought you would last, but...
Well, shyeah we ended alright. Things dwindled, you didn't quite understand. I was busy, you were busy too. But during our fifth month you went from my caring, loving boyfriend to borderline asshole. On top of that I know what you did, you were texting another girl when we were on the rocks. Well okay, I give you that, 'cause I'm going out with my ex at that time too. The point is, you weren't that loyal to begin with. You left me hanging when I needed you most, and words that came out of your mouth during our last days together were hurtful and I don't deserve any of that. You didn't act responsibly, and you well know that.
I guess what I'm saying is, if you didn't behave the way you did, things would have been better between us. And as much as I feel sorry for us, now that we are apart, I still stand by my decision. Maybe I just didn't expect this to end so soon, but I know it would've been worse for both of us if we stayed a little longer. I guess what I've learned from this is that finding the right person for you will remain a freaking mystery. Magazines and self-help books could give out tons and tons of tips on how to "snag a great boyfriend!", or "check out his bf potential!" of some sort but really, you are the epitome of the PERFECT BOYFRIEND GONE WRONG. You have the qualifications of a keeper, but somewhere down the road you fell short. It saddens me, but I still believe this is for the better.
I say this, not out of bitterness, but in an attempt to understand and justify what happened to us. As I've said, you were a great boyfriend...but not quite. You weren't MOTOLITE, unlike what you said before. We have a lot of fun memories together, it's been a good 5 months. I even feel like our 5 months together surpassed (emotion-wise) my other, rather longer relationships. I guess I forgot to really thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything that we've been through and the lessons you've taught me, whether or not you're conscious about it. Thank you, sorry, and I loved you so much. I think I still do, or maybe I just miss you. If ever you see me again, I hope you'd talk to me.