(no subject)
ain't it funny how we pretend we're still a child
softly stolen under our blanket skies
and rescue me from me, and all that i believe
i won't deny the pain
i won't deny the change
and shoul i fall from grace here with you
will you leave me too?
carve out your heart for keeps in an old oak tree
and hold me for goodbyes-and-whispered lullabyes
and tell me i am still
the man i'm supposed to be
i won't deny the pain
i won't deny the change
and should i fall from grace here with you
will you leave me too?
too late to turn to turn back now, i'm running out of sound
and i am changing, changing
and if we died right now, this fool you love somehow
is here with you
i won't deny the pain
i won't deny the change
and should i fall from grace here with you
would you leave me too?
I went for a walk today, and some how I ended up at Vanstory, my old elementary school, the playground fence was open so I decided to go and take a look at how everything looks now. It actually made me really sad to be back out there after almost a decade...god has it been that long? Everything out there looks just how I remember it, everywhere I look I can remember something from when I was a kid. Just everything was so innocent and carefree, money isn't an issue, race, sex, none of it, its all just wonderful. We're all just kids and without a problem in the world. I'd give anything for that feeling again, I think sometimes. Just to not have to worry about who will one day put a knife in your back, who'll turn their back on you when they get the chance, who will leave you, who loves you but can't stand you, who hates you but...you know what? Don't worry about that. Its not important. That hollowed out tree where I alway hid when we played hide and seek is still there, thats where Alex and I would climb to the top and watch everyone and talk about all the things we'd grow up and be one day. Thats where Alex got his first crush on lil' Alison Thomas...Then there was the football field where we'd all play. Then I remembered that one day where I was running in for a touchdown, with four guys clinging on my back, and I was still going, until Darryl's big ass jumped on, and I went down hard. Then there was the kickball field where Mr. Haire would always cheat us boys out of the win, always letting the girls win. The blacktop where we'd have the dancing stations for field day...the basketball goals that we all tried to dunk on, and now they're only as tall as my shoulder...Sigh, somethings just change too much. I don't remember everything seeming so small, it was all so big and wonderful, and now...The ceilings on the concourse we all jumped to brush with our fingertips...I can lay my hand flat on it standing straight.
It'd be nice to feel like everything was big and wonderful again, nothing feeling so cramped and small and...frustrating. Childhood is so much better than growing up, why do we fight so hard to be adults and then wish nothing more than to be five again? Because five is better. Thats why.
Hmm...work was bad. I don't care. I'm going to quit.
You know? I'm genuinely happy with most things other than work right now, everything else is just great. Truthfully, I'm happy. Happier than I've been in a very long time. I'm ready to go back to school, can you feel the truth in that, kids? I miss you all so very much, especially you, I miss you most of all. You know who you are when you read this. Kiss, kiss. Sigh.
Ummmm...what else can I say now? I don't think there's much to really say, I miss childhood, but life is good and I'm so very happy. I'm sleepy, and I think that I'll turn in early tonight. Hey, how come nobody leaves comments for me on my Xanga anymore? Just click the little button underneath entry, and tell me how much you love me and couldn't live without me. Go on, you know you want to.
softly stolen under our blanket skies
and rescue me from me, and all that i believe
i won't deny the pain
i won't deny the change
and shoul i fall from grace here with you
will you leave me too?
carve out your heart for keeps in an old oak tree
and hold me for goodbyes-and-whispered lullabyes
and tell me i am still
the man i'm supposed to be
i won't deny the pain
i won't deny the change
and should i fall from grace here with you
will you leave me too?
too late to turn to turn back now, i'm running out of sound
and i am changing, changing
and if we died right now, this fool you love somehow
is here with you
i won't deny the pain
i won't deny the change
and should i fall from grace here with you
would you leave me too?
I went for a walk today, and some how I ended up at Vanstory, my old elementary school, the playground fence was open so I decided to go and take a look at how everything looks now. It actually made me really sad to be back out there after almost a decade...god has it been that long? Everything out there looks just how I remember it, everywhere I look I can remember something from when I was a kid. Just everything was so innocent and carefree, money isn't an issue, race, sex, none of it, its all just wonderful. We're all just kids and without a problem in the world. I'd give anything for that feeling again, I think sometimes. Just to not have to worry about who will one day put a knife in your back, who'll turn their back on you when they get the chance, who will leave you, who loves you but can't stand you, who hates you but...you know what? Don't worry about that. Its not important. That hollowed out tree where I alway hid when we played hide and seek is still there, thats where Alex and I would climb to the top and watch everyone and talk about all the things we'd grow up and be one day. Thats where Alex got his first crush on lil' Alison Thomas...Then there was the football field where we'd all play. Then I remembered that one day where I was running in for a touchdown, with four guys clinging on my back, and I was still going, until Darryl's big ass jumped on, and I went down hard. Then there was the kickball field where Mr. Haire would always cheat us boys out of the win, always letting the girls win. The blacktop where we'd have the dancing stations for field day...the basketball goals that we all tried to dunk on, and now they're only as tall as my shoulder...Sigh, somethings just change too much. I don't remember everything seeming so small, it was all so big and wonderful, and now...The ceilings on the concourse we all jumped to brush with our fingertips...I can lay my hand flat on it standing straight.
It'd be nice to feel like everything was big and wonderful again, nothing feeling so cramped and small and...frustrating. Childhood is so much better than growing up, why do we fight so hard to be adults and then wish nothing more than to be five again? Because five is better. Thats why.
Hmm...work was bad. I don't care. I'm going to quit.
You know? I'm genuinely happy with most things other than work right now, everything else is just great. Truthfully, I'm happy. Happier than I've been in a very long time. I'm ready to go back to school, can you feel the truth in that, kids? I miss you all so very much, especially you, I miss you most of all. You know who you are when you read this. Kiss, kiss. Sigh.
Ummmm...what else can I say now? I don't think there's much to really say, I miss childhood, but life is good and I'm so very happy. I'm sleepy, and I think that I'll turn in early tonight. Hey, how come nobody leaves comments for me on my Xanga anymore? Just click the little button underneath entry, and tell me how much you love me and couldn't live without me. Go on, you know you want to.