throw it away.
love is a word i throw around alot. i mean it most of the times. but its the people i say it to, that throw it away.
i said that like when i was in 7th grade, if i only knew how powerful that sentence would be now. i dont fully understand why i push some people away. stating the obvious for most of people around me, ive got a pretty face. and most people think i can get anyone i want. but to me, being "pretty" isnt everything. i always fall for the little dorky skater kid, with the gorgeous eyes hidden under all his shaggy hair. they arent ever drop dead gorgeous, or the smartest kid in school, but they are funny, they know how to make me smile no matter what, and passionate about something, anything, maybe something as crazy as skating. and thats always good enough for me. yet some how i always fall for the ones that are taken. the ones with the girl friends that seem perfect and are in a world away from mine. with all the right clothes and things to say. and all the reasons to date a girl. i always seem to come in second. but the part thats the "catch" the part that if you act now, something extra you can get for free, that maybe you didnt want, and thats that they like me too...
im a helper. its what i am, and i love doing it. i help my friends 24/7, they are always coming to me. sometimes i wish i could hide in my room forever to get away. but i know they need me to be there. i try my hardest to be the best listener that i can be. but most of the time the hiding in my room solution shines through so bright i feel like its my only way to escape. lately the "im tired's" im dishing out are getting old. it was a good plan at first, but i fear its wearing out rather quickly i couldnt possibly think that was a good excuse for the rest of my life could i?
every emo kid across the world has this song plastered in their mind, written all over there profiles, and embeded in their everyday vocabulary.. but the song, "Welcome to my life.." is like an anthem for my life right now. for a while actually. an anthem to remind me, thats maybe its okay to be like this sometimes, or to feel like shit 9 times out of 10 everyday...im talking to you as though im thinking as writting it down as it pours out of my head. i just need to write. writting is a great therapy for anyone. no matter how much it doesnt make any sense at all. like that horrible gramtical error sentence i just wrote.
a cheap analysis: "i have an extreme case of tiredness." says doctor copley. maybe so, could someone be so stressed that they eventually get tired. thats just the end, the last thing they feel before they break down. my body is tense. im tired. i never felt like i wanted to sleep so badly in my life. but not just for a few hours. forever. im so over things. people and their ignorance. teachers protray this image of themselves as higher attuority because they contain a small book with many rings that can depict our future.. parents and the horrible situations they think never happen in their childrens lives. i hate it.
worrying about everything is an evil curse. im doing my homework. its a paper for english, its for an interview project, i had to pick 5 questions not relating to my desired job, but to me as a person, for my "boss" to somehow feel like he can use these questions to get to know me.
one was What is your greatest strenght? heres my answer..
my greatest strenght would have to be how well i handel situations. im very strong. i was nevr taught to let something bother me.im able to take my feelings and turn them into positive things.
how easy is it to lie on paper. apparently very. i think thats a solution i should embed in my head. taking this stress and tiredness and turning it into things that are good for me.
maybe this is contredicting myself. or maybe its just fact, but im tired of being tired.
i said that like when i was in 7th grade, if i only knew how powerful that sentence would be now. i dont fully understand why i push some people away. stating the obvious for most of people around me, ive got a pretty face. and most people think i can get anyone i want. but to me, being "pretty" isnt everything. i always fall for the little dorky skater kid, with the gorgeous eyes hidden under all his shaggy hair. they arent ever drop dead gorgeous, or the smartest kid in school, but they are funny, they know how to make me smile no matter what, and passionate about something, anything, maybe something as crazy as skating. and thats always good enough for me. yet some how i always fall for the ones that are taken. the ones with the girl friends that seem perfect and are in a world away from mine. with all the right clothes and things to say. and all the reasons to date a girl. i always seem to come in second. but the part thats the "catch" the part that if you act now, something extra you can get for free, that maybe you didnt want, and thats that they like me too...
im a helper. its what i am, and i love doing it. i help my friends 24/7, they are always coming to me. sometimes i wish i could hide in my room forever to get away. but i know they need me to be there. i try my hardest to be the best listener that i can be. but most of the time the hiding in my room solution shines through so bright i feel like its my only way to escape. lately the "im tired's" im dishing out are getting old. it was a good plan at first, but i fear its wearing out rather quickly i couldnt possibly think that was a good excuse for the rest of my life could i?
every emo kid across the world has this song plastered in their mind, written all over there profiles, and embeded in their everyday vocabulary.. but the song, "Welcome to my life.." is like an anthem for my life right now. for a while actually. an anthem to remind me, thats maybe its okay to be like this sometimes, or to feel like shit 9 times out of 10 everyday...im talking to you as though im thinking as writting it down as it pours out of my head. i just need to write. writting is a great therapy for anyone. no matter how much it doesnt make any sense at all. like that horrible gramtical error sentence i just wrote.
a cheap analysis: "i have an extreme case of tiredness." says doctor copley. maybe so, could someone be so stressed that they eventually get tired. thats just the end, the last thing they feel before they break down. my body is tense. im tired. i never felt like i wanted to sleep so badly in my life. but not just for a few hours. forever. im so over things. people and their ignorance. teachers protray this image of themselves as higher attuority because they contain a small book with many rings that can depict our future.. parents and the horrible situations they think never happen in their childrens lives. i hate it.
worrying about everything is an evil curse. im doing my homework. its a paper for english, its for an interview project, i had to pick 5 questions not relating to my desired job, but to me as a person, for my "boss" to somehow feel like he can use these questions to get to know me.
one was What is your greatest strenght? heres my answer..
my greatest strenght would have to be how well i handel situations. im very strong. i was nevr taught to let something bother me.im able to take my feelings and turn them into positive things.
how easy is it to lie on paper. apparently very. i think thats a solution i should embed in my head. taking this stress and tiredness and turning it into things that are good for me.
maybe this is contredicting myself. or maybe its just fact, but im tired of being tired.