(no subject)
Wow. I don't know what to say anymore. Today isn't such a great day, I've got so much on my mind. I don't feel like i fit in anywhere. Not at school, not in soccer, not even in my own goddamn family. like holy fuck.
School is so effing different than all the other schools I've been to. And the people are so different. I mean I don't even know how to act half the time.You'd think that because I've moved a couple times and I've been to a bunch of different schools and I've been so many places and met so many people that I'd be used to it all. But it's so different... I don't get half the people. I feel like I'm like, the most different person anywhere in the school. I feel like I don't quite fit in anywhere, at all. Like I'm too "french" to be in french immersion. (apparently.) And because I'm in french immersion I don't really know anybody in the english classes. Except for like Bryce and Daniel <3 who are basically the only people I really know outside of french immersion... and that;s because I've known them both for years already. And even in french immersion, I KNOW a lot of people but I'm not very good friends with like any of them but Amanda. Because I knew he a long time ago too.
Soccer is just weird. Everybody's got their little groups and if you're not part of it, you're outcast. And I mean we all get along. But there's always a tension there... There's always something that someone's not saying. or saying too much... or I don't know...
And well the fact is I don't fit in with my own family either. I can't spend any time with my dad because he's always busy doing other things. And the only time he WANTS to do things is when his girlfriend is down.And quite frankly I don't really feel like hanging out with her. He's been gone for 4 years almost. and now he finally moves back and he STILL doesn't call me or anything. he's ALWAYS busy... it's not fair, everything was supposed to change when he moved back and nothing has. It feels like he's still living in friggin England.
So yeah. I don't know what else to say. I guess I'm just having a bad day. And need to vent, so this is what this thing is for.....,
right?
Oh freaking well.
And you know what else. Everybody seems to have the perfect effing little lives. It;s weird. It feels like I'm watching a TV show where everybody's always doing something fun. and everybody knows everybody else. And I'm the kid that sits at home, watching.
Well I'm going to shut up now because I'm sounding like an idiot.