(no subject)
at least now i know why i ve been feeling so crappy lately... i miss home. i miss my friends, my family, my life... its so hard to come to a plae where you have mnobody. i didnt realize it till today... i mean, im sitting here at home on a saturday afternoon, alone.. know why? cuz i dont have any friends here, and ive been too busy at work to have tome to make friends and i see everyone back home on myspace, talking about going out or how much fun they had the night before and i feel like im missing out on SO MUCH, im missing EVERYTHING and what am i dong here that i couldnt be doing over here? nothing!!! i have a job that i hate, but im making good money but what god is that money when i dont have anywhere to spend it?????? two days ago, on a whim, and just to see it go, i bought a pair of $60 shoes online and then took my mom and brothers out to eat for $70.... and i wasnt AT ALL SAD to see $130 go in one day. i was HAPPY that i had somewhere to get rid of it, GAAAAHHHH i wanna scream my head off i HATE MYSELF right now why did i make this stupid decision to come out here??????? why didnt anyone stop me, why didnt i stop myself?????? WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING??????????????????????????????????????
Vent-ily,
Charli
Vent-ily,
Charli