(no subject)
i've made a lot of choices in my life. some good some bad. i've learned from past mistakes.
"no one ever said growing up was easy"
i believe that everything happens for a reason. and that some will walk in and out of your life, some will stay. and love overall, lasts forever.
right now, i'm missing those that drifted.. reason or not.
i'm wishing things were still the same, but that i still could have what i've learned without having to have gone through that loss.
i'm feeling unselfish.. for once.
and i've just decided that when i grow up i will have children. and two for sure.
i feel old. which is weird because now i think 45 is young, and i'm only 19.
i love old pictures and old songs, they remind me of the past filled with amazzing memories and unfogettable moments and place me right back into that moment and remind me where i came from and who i am.
i also decided that i want more out of life, than the life i'm living, so i'm working on living that better life.
if i ever told a lie, well it was at first to save my ass i'm sure, because i do think of myself first, even if sometimes i'd like to think that i don't.
but then it was to save the other person from information they would probably be happier not knowing.
"what one doesn't know, can't hurt" right?
* * *
i wonder what future events will be like.
and how and where my life will lead me.
and who the people in my life will be.
and who i will have looked up to.
people say i think too much. and then will say i don't know anything.
i don't get it either.
goodnight.