So Called "Friends"
People tend to show their true colors during the times when you need them most. I have learned this the hard way. Last year, when we first found out my dad had a brain tumor, Hayli dropped everything, drove all the way up here from AP to drive me to Tampa General. I didn't even have to ask her. Once I was in Tampa, I called Joey. We used to be sooo close. He lives in St. Pete. He could have been there for me. Instead, when I told him what was going on, he comes up with, "Oh, let me check my plans." If his dad were in the hospital, I would have cancelled any and all plans to be there for him.
When Howard's dad went in for surgery last year, I was there. I came with a "Get Well Soon" card, a teddy bear, and a damn baloon! I called him. I wanted him to know that I cared and that I was there for him. Does he do the same for me? NO. He never calls unless I call him. He didn't even try to stop by the hospital this weekend. Hayli was there. Nat called. He only dialed my # out of obligation. All the excuses. All the bullshit he feeds me. I even took up for him. I told him that I understood he wasn't a phone person, but that if I needed him, he was only a call away. I don't even know if that is true. Is it Howard?!?
Melanie. You call me when you want something. You call me when you need me to buy you alcohol. You call me when you needed me to co-sign on a car. You call me when you needed a ride to work or to the mall. You USE me. We don't even hang out anymore. When do you call me to just hang out? I understand that Laura is your "sister". I know that you guys have that special bond and years of history. I know that I don't always fit in. BUT, I thought we were close. You should have read the signs and knew I was upset. Then, I tell you over the phone. You apologize, but the next day you call back. Not to see how I am doing or how my dad is, but to get Kim's phone #? Why? You want to ask her to buy your boose?! and you ask with this attitude in your voice? I will try to be understanding again and realize that your family life was all-in-all fucked up, but hey, mine was no pic nic. You know what my dad did to me, but I forgave hime and I still love him. You say that you don't care if you parents live or die. I don't believe that. I would be there for you. You know I would. AND to my suprise, who calls back to check in on me and shows that SHE actually cares? Jenn. Jenn Stubbs. She should hate me, right?
JT takes my notes on Thursday and says she'll stop by work to give them to me. She never shows. She never calls over the weekend. She leaves me a BS message on my space stating that I WILL pick her up tomorrow. Like hell I will.
Why am I always the one to get shit on? I try to be a good person. I try to be a good friend. I have good friends. Just good at different times and in different ways. Right now, I am just not impressed with the way some have handled or are handling different situations. I just want life to go back to normal. NO, that isn't true. Life the way it was before dad was sick wasn't all that great. I want a change for the better. I want something that I have never been before. I want to be happy. Really and tuly happy.
My mom says I should pray.
It's 9/11. Ryan is in New York.
When Howard's dad went in for surgery last year, I was there. I came with a "Get Well Soon" card, a teddy bear, and a damn baloon! I called him. I wanted him to know that I cared and that I was there for him. Does he do the same for me? NO. He never calls unless I call him. He didn't even try to stop by the hospital this weekend. Hayli was there. Nat called. He only dialed my # out of obligation. All the excuses. All the bullshit he feeds me. I even took up for him. I told him that I understood he wasn't a phone person, but that if I needed him, he was only a call away. I don't even know if that is true. Is it Howard?!?
Melanie. You call me when you want something. You call me when you need me to buy you alcohol. You call me when you needed me to co-sign on a car. You call me when you needed a ride to work or to the mall. You USE me. We don't even hang out anymore. When do you call me to just hang out? I understand that Laura is your "sister". I know that you guys have that special bond and years of history. I know that I don't always fit in. BUT, I thought we were close. You should have read the signs and knew I was upset. Then, I tell you over the phone. You apologize, but the next day you call back. Not to see how I am doing or how my dad is, but to get Kim's phone #? Why? You want to ask her to buy your boose?! and you ask with this attitude in your voice? I will try to be understanding again and realize that your family life was all-in-all fucked up, but hey, mine was no pic nic. You know what my dad did to me, but I forgave hime and I still love him. You say that you don't care if you parents live or die. I don't believe that. I would be there for you. You know I would. AND to my suprise, who calls back to check in on me and shows that SHE actually cares? Jenn. Jenn Stubbs. She should hate me, right?
JT takes my notes on Thursday and says she'll stop by work to give them to me. She never shows. She never calls over the weekend. She leaves me a BS message on my space stating that I WILL pick her up tomorrow. Like hell I will.
Why am I always the one to get shit on? I try to be a good person. I try to be a good friend. I have good friends. Just good at different times and in different ways. Right now, I am just not impressed with the way some have handled or are handling different situations. I just want life to go back to normal. NO, that isn't true. Life the way it was before dad was sick wasn't all that great. I want a change for the better. I want something that I have never been before. I want to be happy. Really and tuly happy.
My mom says I should pray.
It's 9/11. Ryan is in New York.