Ok! Since that last update...
I got engaged to fucking "Army Boy". Yep. Me. Rachel Hilary Runner was, eh hem, WAS, engaged!
Short version:
Kept writing messages back and forth via myspace. Received phone calls from the 199 area code once a week. Feelings escalated. Next thing I know we're a couple. Then, dum dum dum DUMB! Will you marry me? Will you give up your life and everything you have worked so hard to get back to move to Germany with me? "I WILL!" Announced it to everyone. Surprisingly, all took it well and were supportive. Why? Guys! Come on! Sweet, sugary sentiments continued to fill my inbox then BAM! Out of the blue. "I can't marry you as soon as I get back. I'm here and in no condition to make life altering decisions. We need to know each other better." Agreed. But that's not what you were all about yesterday! Translation: told his platoon finally. Home boys didn't like it. Bros before hos. Good bye Rachel.
A note to myself:
You stupid fucking naive retarded bitch! What the fuck did you really think was going to happen with that? You didn't even know this mother fucker! All you knew was that he was a hot make out and gave you some great head! Whoopie! You're Rachel fuckin Runner! You can get ass whenever you want it! You need to stop trying to replace your father with random dicks! No one will ever love you like he did. No man will ever be there for you like him. You're confusing sex and lust with love and yeah, trying to fill a void in your life. WAKE THE FUCK UP! You're 23. You have shit to do. Goals to reach. Life to live. Stop jumping the gun and thinking that you need to be in a relationship. Have fun. Fuck around. Be yourself. When the time comes, if it ever does, then cool. Learn from this and DON'T do it again! You are smarter than this. It's time to open your eyes and accept reality for what it is and destroy that little fantasy world you live in.
NOW:
I am back in Orlando. Well, Kissimme. I'm living with my friend for two weeks until my apt is ready. I got the job at Disney and I start Sunday. My classes start the 22nd. FinAid came through! Good shit! Looks like I can finally start climbing my way back to the top!
Short version:
Kept writing messages back and forth via myspace. Received phone calls from the 199 area code once a week. Feelings escalated. Next thing I know we're a couple. Then, dum dum dum DUMB! Will you marry me? Will you give up your life and everything you have worked so hard to get back to move to Germany with me? "I WILL!" Announced it to everyone. Surprisingly, all took it well and were supportive. Why? Guys! Come on! Sweet, sugary sentiments continued to fill my inbox then BAM! Out of the blue. "I can't marry you as soon as I get back. I'm here and in no condition to make life altering decisions. We need to know each other better." Agreed. But that's not what you were all about yesterday! Translation: told his platoon finally. Home boys didn't like it. Bros before hos. Good bye Rachel.
A note to myself:
You stupid fucking naive retarded bitch! What the fuck did you really think was going to happen with that? You didn't even know this mother fucker! All you knew was that he was a hot make out and gave you some great head! Whoopie! You're Rachel fuckin Runner! You can get ass whenever you want it! You need to stop trying to replace your father with random dicks! No one will ever love you like he did. No man will ever be there for you like him. You're confusing sex and lust with love and yeah, trying to fill a void in your life. WAKE THE FUCK UP! You're 23. You have shit to do. Goals to reach. Life to live. Stop jumping the gun and thinking that you need to be in a relationship. Have fun. Fuck around. Be yourself. When the time comes, if it ever does, then cool. Learn from this and DON'T do it again! You are smarter than this. It's time to open your eyes and accept reality for what it is and destroy that little fantasy world you live in.
NOW:
I am back in Orlando. Well, Kissimme. I'm living with my friend for two weeks until my apt is ready. I got the job at Disney and I start Sunday. My classes start the 22nd. FinAid came through! Good shit! Looks like I can finally start climbing my way back to the top!