how do you tell a girl how much you love her?
You don't.
You show her.
You be her friend.
You be there for her when she needs someone to
talk to.
You cry with her when she is sad, and you are
happy for her when she succeeds at something,
even if - no, make that ESPECIALLY if - she does
that thing better than you do. And you do all you
can to see that she succeeds at things often.
You give her what she needs, when she needs it,
emotionally I mean, not "things."
And if you do really love her, not just think she is
hot, or are infatuated with her, you will do all these,
expecting nothing in return.
And I mean NOTHING.
If you expect anything from her, you do not love
her, you just want to be loved by her. Everyone
wants to be loved, but to be loved, you must love.
If you do these things well, one day she w ill come
to you and confide in you about something she
feels badly about, because, if you do these things
well enough for long enough, it will be you she will
want to confide in. When she does, you make sure
she knows that it matters to you that this bothers
her. If you have advice for her, save it until you are
sure she knows you care, and that her feelings
matter very much to you.
Once you are sure of this, you may offer your
advice, but know that the caring is more important
than your idea of how
the problem might be "fixed."
Loving her is not admiring the way she looks or
anything else about her. These may be among the
reasons you are attracted to her, but they are not
acts of loving. Loving her is a series of actions,
things you do for her, for no other reason than you
love her.
Loving her is not wanting her to give you attention,
or to give you anything for that matter. Loving her is
wanting to
give, not get. That is how you love someone. You
give to them all you can give and expect nothing
back. Once you have done these things well
enough for long enough, and her eyes tell you she
longs to hear you tell her, then you will have earned
the right to tell her how much you love her.
You show her.
You be her friend.
You be there for her when she needs someone to
talk to.
You cry with her when she is sad, and you are
happy for her when she succeeds at something,
even if - no, make that ESPECIALLY if - she does
that thing better than you do. And you do all you
can to see that she succeeds at things often.
You give her what she needs, when she needs it,
emotionally I mean, not "things."
And if you do really love her, not just think she is
hot, or are infatuated with her, you will do all these,
expecting nothing in return.
And I mean NOTHING.
If you expect anything from her, you do not love
her, you just want to be loved by her. Everyone
wants to be loved, but to be loved, you must love.
If you do these things well, one day she w ill come
to you and confide in you about something she
feels badly about, because, if you do these things
well enough for long enough, it will be you she will
want to confide in. When she does, you make sure
she knows that it matters to you that this bothers
her. If you have advice for her, save it until you are
sure she knows you care, and that her feelings
matter very much to you.
Once you are sure of this, you may offer your
advice, but know that the caring is more important
than your idea of how
the problem might be "fixed."
Loving her is not admiring the way she looks or
anything else about her. These may be among the
reasons you are attracted to her, but they are not
acts of loving. Loving her is a series of actions,
things you do for her, for no other reason than you
love her.
Loving her is not wanting her to give you attention,
or to give you anything for that matter. Loving her is
wanting to
give, not get. That is how you love someone. You
give to them all you can give and expect nothing
back. Once you have done these things well
enough for long enough, and her eyes tell you she
longs to hear you tell her, then you will have earned
the right to tell her how much you love her.