(no subject)
for 2 blissful moments this morning, i rolled out of bed and was 8 again. and summer vacation held endless possibilities, most of which would be eaten up by the stack of books next to my bed- books into which i would escape, through whose covers i would run as far as my imagination would carry me until i tumbled out the other side, dazed and bewildered, having finished my journey with that book entirely too soon. those sunny days of hay fever spent in the pool of the country club (can you believe that at one point in my life we belonged to a country club?) in my self proclaimed movie star sunglasses. the country club turned into the gym pool, the gym pool turned into the sprinkler, and the sprinkler into whatever neighborhood family pool was accepting friends on that given day. million dollar schemes of lemonade stands that sold overly salted popcorn, thus compelling the buyer to purchase ANOTHER glass of lemonade to quench his or her popcorn induced overwhelming thirst (never worked by the way). ' happy daylight savings time!' scrolled in sidewalk chalk on the best, tar free, smoothest cement square of sidewalk (reserved for only truly important chalk artwork). my summer school theater program (which i did for three consecutive years) in which i was willing to play a boy if it meant i would get the lead role. oh the injustice of gender specific casting. there was the summer of biking, in which julie and i mapped out a variety of adventures, all of which would be death defying and terribly exciting. we would discover (on our 3 speed huffys) towns unseen by any other citizen of northwest indiana. we would face pirates, we would fight lions, we would solve crime (and we would also run a successful afterschool babysitting club comprised of our closest friends. hilarity ensues). we would be back before 6 for dinner and pack picnic lunches that would consist of an indefinite number of oreos. these plans were cruelly foiled by my broken arm (may 26, 1994) resulting from a bike accident that may or may not have had something to do with a lack of momentum.
summer, particularly the beginning of it, is a lot like the last year of college. it is brimming with possibility, but in the distance looms the fear of missed opportunities- those rolling thunder clouds threatening to spill over onto your beachside plans. summer (much like the rest of ones life) is the season incarnate of the most valuable of all intangible elements- time. time can be wasted, ill-used, misspent. time can produce more time, time to regret, time to wallow, time to hide away. but also second chances, new beginnings, spiritual rebirths. i never got my adventure that summer when i was 10. it was spent (injustice of all injustices) in a cast. i've been trying to compensate ever since.
i'm thinking very seriously now about the peace corps. i'm scared. its 2 years. two years of time, of obscenely valuable time. i would miss friends' weddings. baby showers. babies. i would miss the passage of peoples lives. other peoples lives. and in the meantime, would mine become stagnant? am i seriously considering remaining at a personal standstill so as to watch life happen to other people? yes, i suppose thats precisely what i've BEEN doing for some time now. i actually JUST came to that realization while writing this paragraph. writing is a great thing for me. it takes me places i wouldn't otherwise go.
summer, particularly the beginning of it, is a lot like the last year of college. it is brimming with possibility, but in the distance looms the fear of missed opportunities- those rolling thunder clouds threatening to spill over onto your beachside plans. summer (much like the rest of ones life) is the season incarnate of the most valuable of all intangible elements- time. time can be wasted, ill-used, misspent. time can produce more time, time to regret, time to wallow, time to hide away. but also second chances, new beginnings, spiritual rebirths. i never got my adventure that summer when i was 10. it was spent (injustice of all injustices) in a cast. i've been trying to compensate ever since.
i'm thinking very seriously now about the peace corps. i'm scared. its 2 years. two years of time, of obscenely valuable time. i would miss friends' weddings. baby showers. babies. i would miss the passage of peoples lives. other peoples lives. and in the meantime, would mine become stagnant? am i seriously considering remaining at a personal standstill so as to watch life happen to other people? yes, i suppose thats precisely what i've BEEN doing for some time now. i actually JUST came to that realization while writing this paragraph. writing is a great thing for me. it takes me places i wouldn't otherwise go.