I Shall Roam the Summer Fields, Chapter 3 [Bleach]
Title: I Shall Roam the Summer Fields ( Master Post)
Fandom: Bleach
Characters: Ensemble, and while this is primarily gen, a number of pairings (mostly but not entirely het) figure in the background. See master post if you need more details.
Word Count: Novel-length overall, c. 3,500 in this chapter.
Rating: R, mostly for language. Also, see warnings.
Warnings/Possible Triggers: Character death. Mentions and some description of pregnancy complications and miscarriage/stillbirth.
Notes: This story is an AU that takes place ten years after Chapter 422, i.e. the end of the Deicide arc. The story diverges from canon just after that last battle in terms of the fates of several major characters (for good or for ill). This chapter picks up right where the previous one left off with Ichigo's unexpected response to Rukia's request.
Summary: In the living world, Obon is a time to remember the dead and a time to celebrate. But for the shinigami, Obon is something to be dreaded, as Hollows are drawn out in great numbers by the living world's focus on the departed. Ten years after Aizen's defeat, Soul Society faces an Obon season worse than anyone can remember. A dozen shinigami are killed in two Hollow attacks, but even as the Gotei 13 is still recovering from the loss, something even more unusual happens--something that some people call a miracle. But when this miracle turns out to come at a very high price, some people find they are more than willing to pay it.
"No? What do you mean, no?" Renji was the one to snap back. "We just got done telling you it's a nuthouse out there, and you're saying no, you're not going to help? What the hell is wrong with you?"
As for Rukia, she couldn't say anything. She could only play back the last few seconds over and over again, not believing they had happened.
"I do help." The lack of bluster unsettled Rukia; it made her wonder what was being held back behind that wall of calm. She hadn't seen this from him before, but she still recognized it and knew it meant nothing good. "If there's a Hollow to deal with, and I'm around and I'm not in the middle of keeping someone from bleeding to death, I deal with it. That's it. That's all. Just like I agreed to."
"Yes! You're a substitute shinigami! I know that!" Rukia finally found her voice. This felt like a retread of all those arguments they's had back when she was first training him, before he finally went after a Hollow to save the ghost of a little boy. "But you're still a shinigami! What about all the dead who need your help?"
"Ah, great. Not this again..." Tatsuki slumped down in her chair, covering her eyes with one hand.
Rukia's throat tightened when Ichigo reached out and put his shinigami badge on the table. He wasn't giving it back, was he? But then he reached down again and grabbed something else. It looked like a large heavy-duty cell phone--the kind that could survive being dropped off a cliff.
He looked her straight in the eye as he spoke, still stonily calm. "I wear both of these all day, every day. Even when I'm having dinner with old friends. When I go to bed--when I have time to go to bed--they are both on my nightstand. I'm already giving you way the hell more than you have any right to ask."
"It's just a month. Just a little extra help." Rukia knew she should stop arguing, even before she felt Renji's foot connect with her ankle. "I know you're busy, I get that, but--"
"You are seriously asking me to choose the dead over the living? Forget it. I--"
"Ichigo..." Sado's warning quieted whatever Ichigo was going to say next.
"That's not what I'm asking you, Ichigo, and you know it!" Rukia was standing now, leaning over the table. She slapped one hand down hard, missing a platter of somen by an inch. "Why do you always have to be so pig-headed? Dead or alive doesn't matter--if they need help, they need help!"
"For what it's worth, I thought it was a stupid idea."
"Renji!"
Ichigo blinked. "Wait. This was your idea, Rukia?"
"Well, yes." She didn't sit down, but she backed off a bit.
"No one sent you? They didn't just decide to draft me and made you their errand girl?"
"She drafted me," Renji said. "Dragged me along and made me pay for ice cr--ow!"
"Well, I did get official permission from Ukitake-taichou," Rukia admitted. She ignored the dirty look from Renji as he rubbed the back of his head. "We are short-handed now, and I thought..."
She thought it might be like old times, again. Or at least the old times the way she liked to remember them. And that maybe she could finagle a way to leave things in Kiyone and Sentarou's hands for just a little while, and she could get away from everything. That she could not feel so helpless, even if it was for a day, an afternoon, an hour.
"...maybe you might want to help."
Ichigo looked down at his beeper and at his badge for another moment.
"I'll help when I can, but still..." He took a deep breath and it seemed as if he'd settled some argument with himself. "You gotta understand that I can't give my other job short shrift."
"So, the answer is still no, then." This no, at least, she could accept.
Ichigo started to answer, then shook his head. The wry half-smile was back. "You know, there are some days that are way worse than today was. Days when you keep thinking 'if someone had called just two minutes earlier', or 'if only the road wasn't as congested,' or 'why'd it have to be another kid?' Days like that, I'm glad I know what I know from being able to see what happens to people after they're dead. But still, most of the people I can't save wish I could've, you know? So I've got to try. But I'll do what I can on the flip side, okay?"
"I should be able to help, too," Sado said.
Tatsuki nodded. "Same, and I'd be able to do even more if that jerk Urahara hadn't blown me off when I tried to get him to teach me the way he taught Ichigo." It was a joke, but there was a trace of old bitterness there as well.
Ichigo shuddered, but said nothing.
"Well, I guess that counts as a win," Renji said. "Though we should've just said up front it was Rukia's idea so you weren't such a jackass about it. What was up with that, anyway? That was one hell of a 'no.'"
This time, Tatsuki slapped her forehead so hard Rukia winced from the sound of it.
Ichigo raised an eyebrow. Other than that, his expression was completely blank. It said far more than his scowl ever could.
"Gee. Let me think. I pulled your bosses' asses out of the fire, and Dad damn near killed himself so I could, and what? They actually had a serious discussion about whether or not they were going to arrest him?"
"But they didn't!" Rukia tried to remember how Ukitake-taichou had argued, but couldn't. "They had to talk about it because he was a criminal, but you couldn't seriously think they would be so unreasonable as to--"
"They were going to execute you, once! Remember that? And after that, you expect reasonable? Really? Fuck, I'm lucky to be here right now!" He was halfway out of his seat, the 'here' punctuated by him slamming his hand down on the table so hard the dishes rattled.
Sado reached out and calmly pulled him back down into his seat. Ichigo didn't resist.
He took a deep breath and ran his hand down his face again.
"Sorry," he muttered. "It's just... I damn near lost everything saving those guys, and I got the shit end of the stick in return. All I wanted was to get back to my old life, and you'd think I was asking for the goddamn moon and stars because I had the gall to ask if I could simply go home. No offense, you two, but I said no to the full-time shinigami gig ten years ago. Answer's still the same."
"Okay. Then why the hell do you still do the substitute thing?" Renji asked.
Ichigo glared at him from between a crack in his fingers.
Rukia looked at him, so familiar and yet so different, but said nothing. She understood.
He still served, just as she had stayed true to her duty after she had been deemed a criminal and judged worthy of death. She had seen for herself how he would give and give and give--complaining all the while, true--but still give more than she thought it was possible for a person to give.
She had also seen how loyalty to his family and his friends would always trump any more abstract sense of duty. Rukia could understand the need to give serious consideration to what was to happen to Kurosaki Isshin, but she also knew why Ichigo would never be able to forgive that, even if it had come to nothing in the end.
Rukia did not say anything. A quick exchange of glances was all that was needed. Ichigo looked away, grumpy and exhausted, but no longer angry.
"Also, the stupid tattoo itches," he complained. His hand went up to his collarbone, this time consciously. Ichigo's tank top didn't quite cover the area where the limiter tattoo had been placed, but in his physical body there was no visible sign of the black crescent moon that damped his power. Still, he scratched at the spot where it was in spirit.
The scratching thing was just him being silly, Rukia thought. No one else had ever complained about such a thing. Hers certainly didn't itch.
"Like you said, you're here. And you wouldn't be without that thing." Renji's statement was met with a scowl--rubbing it in that Ichigo and Orihime were only allowed to return to the living world if their powers were locked down to a fraction of what they were might not have been the smartest thing he could have done. Then Renji gave him a wry grin. "They're a pain in the ass, aren't they?"
That startled a laugh out of Ichigo.
"We might be able to lift it. For a while, anyway," Rukia said. Ukitake-taichou had agreed, which was great, but he didn't push back as hard as Rukia had thought he would, and she felt a little guilty about making the offer.
Ichigo actually thought about it for a moment.
In the end, he shook his head. "Sorry, but I'll do what I can with what I got. Just like I always do."
Tatsuki seconded that with a fierce nod.
"I think I saw some ice cream in the freezer," Sado said.
Renji started to say that he and Rukia had already had some on their way to the clinic, but his sense of self-preservation kicked in before Rukia had to intervene.
They didn't stay much longer, just long enough to talk about old friends and old times--or at least the old times before things became complicated--and wash away the bitter taste of Ichigo's refusal and the history behind it.
Rukia wanted to say goodbye to Orihime before they left, but when they went back to the room she was sharing with Tatsuki, Orihime was sound asleep, her phone cradled against her chest.
"Those two are going to have one killer phone bill," Ichigo whispered. Tatsuki winced in sympathy.
So, instead of a proper goodbye, Rukia just looked at her friend for a while, drinking in the image of the peaceful slumber and the feel of the reiryouku that sparkled and flashed even through the limiter.
"I'll make sure I come back in September," she said. "To see the baby."
"You do that," Ichigo said. His voice was a little rough.
When they got back to the kitchen, Tatsuki said she and Sado would clean up while Ichigo saw Rukia and Renji off. The look she gave Ichigo and Renji said something more than that, and Rukia suspected she knew what it was.
The three of them headed out silently. Renji was back in that weird mood again, and he stopped as they reached the sidewalk. His mouth twisted the way it did when he was trying to figure something out. But what he said didn't seem all that significant.
"Hey, Ichigo. That convenience store up on the corner still there?"
"Huh? Uh, yeah. Why?"
"Well... it ain't on the way back to the gate," Renji said, looking at Rukia rather than Ichigo. "But I was thinking maybe I could pick up something to take back to the party. Bourbon. Vodka. You know. Something fancy we can't get back home. Anyways, I'll catch up with Rukia in a few. See ya, Ichigo."
He waved over his shoulder as he stalked off towards the store. Rukia didn't know if she wanted to kick him or hug him.
"What's up with him?" Ichigo asked.
Rukia snorted. "I wish I knew. I swear, every time I think I know what that idiot's thinking, he proves me wrong."
Ichigo shook his head, laughing softly. "The two of you crack me up, you know that? Uh, sorry about before, by the way. Just... sore spot."
His apology prickled her with guilt just as Ukitake-taichou's too-easy agreement to her request had.
She wondered if she should say something about how she had just hoped it would be like old times again. Like those early, frustrating days, when she was in a panic about being without support and without her powers, but at the same time feeling so very safe. So very home.
"It's okay. I'm glad you're still going to help out, though." She hesitated for a moment, before saying, "I'm sorry medical school didn't work out for you. What happened?"
Ichigo shrugged, but looked up at the sky rather than at her. When it was just the two of them, he was a lot less defensive, but that didn't mean he was going to be completely honest. "It just wasn't me, that's all."
Of course not! she almost said, but didn't. He should be a shinigami. He was good at it, it was what he was, and despite everything he had said back at the dinner table, she was still stunned at his refusal. It was logical, yes, but it wasn't right. They would talk about this more in September, oh yes they would.
Ichigo looked down at her for a moment, studying her, evaluating her.
"What?" she snapped.
"It's weird, but sometimes I feel like you're expecting me to be someone I'm not."
"I'm expecting you to be you ten years ago!" That was true enough as it was, but not entirely. For all that he could be dunderheaded enough to put Renji to shame, Ichigo sometimes had deep moments of insight. Too bad it often showed up when it wasn't wanted.
"Well, tough." Then he grinned and ruffled her hair. The smile became something more gentle. It wasn't something she saw often from him, but it always struck deep when she did. "Congrats on the promotion. About damn time, and all that."
"Thank you."
The next ruffle was more like a noogie, and she yelped.
"Now how about not letting another five years go by without a freaking visit?" Ichigo said. "And coming back in September doesn't count!"
"What! Well, how about maybe you not waiting five years to tell me about things like Orihime and Ishida getting married!"
Not to mention all of the other things she would have like to have heard about over the years. But he was right. She shouldn't have waited for a crisis to find a reason to visit.
Ichigo gaped at her for a second, then went red. "Uh, oops?" he laughed sheepishly, turning aside and rubbing the back of his head. "Guess I shoulda done that, huh? Dunno why, but I thought you'd just know, somehow. It's weird, but even though you haven't lived here for ten years, there's times I still expect to see you popping out of my closet or something."
Rukia smiled.
"Of course, it's usually when I'm about to pass out from exhaustion and I'm starting to hallucinate," he deadpanned. Then he laughed and stepped out of the way when she tried to swat him, swinging around to catch her tight in a one-armed hug and pull her against his side.
"Good to see ya, Rukia." The words were just as plain as the first time he spoke to her that evening, and they said just as much and even more.
Rukia's heart was too full for her to speak, but it was okay. Everything was okay again.
He gave her a quick squeeze then let her go. "So, September?"
She nodded. She was smiling, even though her eyes prickled.
The old cocky grin was back, and Ichigo waved goodbye as he headed back into the clinic.
Rukia watched him go, lifting her hand in a half-hearted wave. She heard Tatsuki cheerfully yell something as the door opened, but the door shut again, leaving only the whir of the air conditioner and the buzz of the cicadas.
She felt so very, very homesick, and she didn't know why. All she knew was that it was for more than those days ten years ago.
There was one obvious answer, but it was the wrong one. Ichigo was not Kaien-dono. The superficial resemblance was even stronger now that Ichigo had filled out a bit more, but she now knew that could be explained by the fact that he and Kaien-dono were blood relations. Sort of. She still didn't understand how Kurosaki Isshin's gigai worked, or was even possible.
But when she and Ichigo first met, even before she poured her power into him, he felt so familiar.
At the time, and for a long time afterwards, it made her so angry. Then, that anger became something else just as intense. What, she didn't know.
Maybe he was right. She had been expecting him to be someone else, and eventually he just became Ichigo, and all the more precious to her for that.
She was still thinking about it when Renji came back. He held two very full shopping bags in one hand. They clanked. They also sloshed.
"Hey. You ready to head back?"
She nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."
"Well, that was kind of a bust," Renji said as they started down the sidewalk. "Can't say I blame him for bein' pissed about being asked, when he put it like that. But still--a bust."
Rukia tried to think of what to say to that or if she should just tell him to shut up, but Renji wasn't done.
"Still glad we went, though. It was good to see them again." He rested his free hand on her back.
Rukia jumped a little, but relaxed before he could pull his hand away. When they passed under a streetlight, she looked down at the book Orihime had given her. The cover featured an improbably and impractically buxom robot shielding an unconscious, inhumanly pale-skinned man from an unseen attacker. Rukia smiled in fond amusement.
"Things move so fast for them," she said softly. The rate at which Ichigo and the others were aging frightened her. Five years had slid past and so much had happened without her noticing. Even with the promise she had made him, what would happen if she looked up one day to find that thirteen years had slipped by? Or thirty? What if one day she came back to Karakura, expecting to find that young boy she still pictured and instead found an old man, white-haired and struggling to breathe? She wrapped her arms around herself as if warding off a chill despite the oppressive heat.
"Hey, we're going to go back when Orihime and Ishida have their kid, right?" Renji sounded more enthusiastic about the idea than she would have expected. "That's just a couple of months. Two months is nothing, even for humans. Anyhow, what's up with Ichigo and Tatsuki? You think there's something going on there?"
Rukia started to answer even before she knew how she would answer. Yes, she felt a twinge of jealousy at the idea of Ichigo and Tatsuki together, but it wasn't the right sort of jealousy. It wasn't the feeling of having something taken away from her. It was lonelier than that.
"You know, I honestly don't know. They've been close since they were kids..."
Just like you and I were.
"But when I was trapped in the living world, Ichigo kept pushing her away, and kept shutting her out 'for her own good.'"
Just like you did, when the Kuchiki family came to take me away and you let me go like it meant nothing to you.
"It seems like they patched things up well enough, though. But I don't know if they're... you know."
And every time I think I know what you're thinking, you prove me wrong yet again.
"Maybe." She shrugged. "Who knows? But I could see it happening. Maybe."
It seemed absolutely right and absolutely wrong at the same time, and she had no idea how to explain this, even to herself.
"It was good to see them again, you're right, and I'm glad we came. But..."
"Not what you thought, huh?" Renji said gently.
She swallowed, hard. "Yeah."
Renji let his hand slide away from her back, but it was only to reach down at the same time she reached over, and they walked back to the gate hand-in-hand.
Chapter Four: In which Byakuya overindulges at a party and has an unsettling encounter on the way home.
Fandom: Bleach
Characters: Ensemble, and while this is primarily gen, a number of pairings (mostly but not entirely het) figure in the background. See master post if you need more details.
Word Count: Novel-length overall, c. 3,500 in this chapter.
Rating: R, mostly for language. Also, see warnings.
Warnings/Possible Triggers: Character death. Mentions and some description of pregnancy complications and miscarriage/stillbirth.
Notes: This story is an AU that takes place ten years after Chapter 422, i.e. the end of the Deicide arc. The story diverges from canon just after that last battle in terms of the fates of several major characters (for good or for ill). This chapter picks up right where the previous one left off with Ichigo's unexpected response to Rukia's request.
Summary: In the living world, Obon is a time to remember the dead and a time to celebrate. But for the shinigami, Obon is something to be dreaded, as Hollows are drawn out in great numbers by the living world's focus on the departed. Ten years after Aizen's defeat, Soul Society faces an Obon season worse than anyone can remember. A dozen shinigami are killed in two Hollow attacks, but even as the Gotei 13 is still recovering from the loss, something even more unusual happens--something that some people call a miracle. But when this miracle turns out to come at a very high price, some people find they are more than willing to pay it.
"No? What do you mean, no?" Renji was the one to snap back. "We just got done telling you it's a nuthouse out there, and you're saying no, you're not going to help? What the hell is wrong with you?"
As for Rukia, she couldn't say anything. She could only play back the last few seconds over and over again, not believing they had happened.
"I do help." The lack of bluster unsettled Rukia; it made her wonder what was being held back behind that wall of calm. She hadn't seen this from him before, but she still recognized it and knew it meant nothing good. "If there's a Hollow to deal with, and I'm around and I'm not in the middle of keeping someone from bleeding to death, I deal with it. That's it. That's all. Just like I agreed to."
"Yes! You're a substitute shinigami! I know that!" Rukia finally found her voice. This felt like a retread of all those arguments they's had back when she was first training him, before he finally went after a Hollow to save the ghost of a little boy. "But you're still a shinigami! What about all the dead who need your help?"
"Ah, great. Not this again..." Tatsuki slumped down in her chair, covering her eyes with one hand.
Rukia's throat tightened when Ichigo reached out and put his shinigami badge on the table. He wasn't giving it back, was he? But then he reached down again and grabbed something else. It looked like a large heavy-duty cell phone--the kind that could survive being dropped off a cliff.
He looked her straight in the eye as he spoke, still stonily calm. "I wear both of these all day, every day. Even when I'm having dinner with old friends. When I go to bed--when I have time to go to bed--they are both on my nightstand. I'm already giving you way the hell more than you have any right to ask."
"It's just a month. Just a little extra help." Rukia knew she should stop arguing, even before she felt Renji's foot connect with her ankle. "I know you're busy, I get that, but--"
"You are seriously asking me to choose the dead over the living? Forget it. I--"
"Ichigo..." Sado's warning quieted whatever Ichigo was going to say next.
"That's not what I'm asking you, Ichigo, and you know it!" Rukia was standing now, leaning over the table. She slapped one hand down hard, missing a platter of somen by an inch. "Why do you always have to be so pig-headed? Dead or alive doesn't matter--if they need help, they need help!"
"For what it's worth, I thought it was a stupid idea."
"Renji!"
Ichigo blinked. "Wait. This was your idea, Rukia?"
"Well, yes." She didn't sit down, but she backed off a bit.
"No one sent you? They didn't just decide to draft me and made you their errand girl?"
"She drafted me," Renji said. "Dragged me along and made me pay for ice cr--ow!"
"Well, I did get official permission from Ukitake-taichou," Rukia admitted. She ignored the dirty look from Renji as he rubbed the back of his head. "We are short-handed now, and I thought..."
She thought it might be like old times, again. Or at least the old times the way she liked to remember them. And that maybe she could finagle a way to leave things in Kiyone and Sentarou's hands for just a little while, and she could get away from everything. That she could not feel so helpless, even if it was for a day, an afternoon, an hour.
"...maybe you might want to help."
Ichigo looked down at his beeper and at his badge for another moment.
"I'll help when I can, but still..." He took a deep breath and it seemed as if he'd settled some argument with himself. "You gotta understand that I can't give my other job short shrift."
"So, the answer is still no, then." This no, at least, she could accept.
Ichigo started to answer, then shook his head. The wry half-smile was back. "You know, there are some days that are way worse than today was. Days when you keep thinking 'if someone had called just two minutes earlier', or 'if only the road wasn't as congested,' or 'why'd it have to be another kid?' Days like that, I'm glad I know what I know from being able to see what happens to people after they're dead. But still, most of the people I can't save wish I could've, you know? So I've got to try. But I'll do what I can on the flip side, okay?"
"I should be able to help, too," Sado said.
Tatsuki nodded. "Same, and I'd be able to do even more if that jerk Urahara hadn't blown me off when I tried to get him to teach me the way he taught Ichigo." It was a joke, but there was a trace of old bitterness there as well.
Ichigo shuddered, but said nothing.
"Well, I guess that counts as a win," Renji said. "Though we should've just said up front it was Rukia's idea so you weren't such a jackass about it. What was up with that, anyway? That was one hell of a 'no.'"
This time, Tatsuki slapped her forehead so hard Rukia winced from the sound of it.
Ichigo raised an eyebrow. Other than that, his expression was completely blank. It said far more than his scowl ever could.
"Gee. Let me think. I pulled your bosses' asses out of the fire, and Dad damn near killed himself so I could, and what? They actually had a serious discussion about whether or not they were going to arrest him?"
"But they didn't!" Rukia tried to remember how Ukitake-taichou had argued, but couldn't. "They had to talk about it because he was a criminal, but you couldn't seriously think they would be so unreasonable as to--"
"They were going to execute you, once! Remember that? And after that, you expect reasonable? Really? Fuck, I'm lucky to be here right now!" He was halfway out of his seat, the 'here' punctuated by him slamming his hand down on the table so hard the dishes rattled.
Sado reached out and calmly pulled him back down into his seat. Ichigo didn't resist.
He took a deep breath and ran his hand down his face again.
"Sorry," he muttered. "It's just... I damn near lost everything saving those guys, and I got the shit end of the stick in return. All I wanted was to get back to my old life, and you'd think I was asking for the goddamn moon and stars because I had the gall to ask if I could simply go home. No offense, you two, but I said no to the full-time shinigami gig ten years ago. Answer's still the same."
"Okay. Then why the hell do you still do the substitute thing?" Renji asked.
Ichigo glared at him from between a crack in his fingers.
Rukia looked at him, so familiar and yet so different, but said nothing. She understood.
He still served, just as she had stayed true to her duty after she had been deemed a criminal and judged worthy of death. She had seen for herself how he would give and give and give--complaining all the while, true--but still give more than she thought it was possible for a person to give.
She had also seen how loyalty to his family and his friends would always trump any more abstract sense of duty. Rukia could understand the need to give serious consideration to what was to happen to Kurosaki Isshin, but she also knew why Ichigo would never be able to forgive that, even if it had come to nothing in the end.
Rukia did not say anything. A quick exchange of glances was all that was needed. Ichigo looked away, grumpy and exhausted, but no longer angry.
"Also, the stupid tattoo itches," he complained. His hand went up to his collarbone, this time consciously. Ichigo's tank top didn't quite cover the area where the limiter tattoo had been placed, but in his physical body there was no visible sign of the black crescent moon that damped his power. Still, he scratched at the spot where it was in spirit.
The scratching thing was just him being silly, Rukia thought. No one else had ever complained about such a thing. Hers certainly didn't itch.
"Like you said, you're here. And you wouldn't be without that thing." Renji's statement was met with a scowl--rubbing it in that Ichigo and Orihime were only allowed to return to the living world if their powers were locked down to a fraction of what they were might not have been the smartest thing he could have done. Then Renji gave him a wry grin. "They're a pain in the ass, aren't they?"
That startled a laugh out of Ichigo.
"We might be able to lift it. For a while, anyway," Rukia said. Ukitake-taichou had agreed, which was great, but he didn't push back as hard as Rukia had thought he would, and she felt a little guilty about making the offer.
Ichigo actually thought about it for a moment.
In the end, he shook his head. "Sorry, but I'll do what I can with what I got. Just like I always do."
Tatsuki seconded that with a fierce nod.
"I think I saw some ice cream in the freezer," Sado said.
Renji started to say that he and Rukia had already had some on their way to the clinic, but his sense of self-preservation kicked in before Rukia had to intervene.
They didn't stay much longer, just long enough to talk about old friends and old times--or at least the old times before things became complicated--and wash away the bitter taste of Ichigo's refusal and the history behind it.
Rukia wanted to say goodbye to Orihime before they left, but when they went back to the room she was sharing with Tatsuki, Orihime was sound asleep, her phone cradled against her chest.
"Those two are going to have one killer phone bill," Ichigo whispered. Tatsuki winced in sympathy.
So, instead of a proper goodbye, Rukia just looked at her friend for a while, drinking in the image of the peaceful slumber and the feel of the reiryouku that sparkled and flashed even through the limiter.
"I'll make sure I come back in September," she said. "To see the baby."
"You do that," Ichigo said. His voice was a little rough.
When they got back to the kitchen, Tatsuki said she and Sado would clean up while Ichigo saw Rukia and Renji off. The look she gave Ichigo and Renji said something more than that, and Rukia suspected she knew what it was.
The three of them headed out silently. Renji was back in that weird mood again, and he stopped as they reached the sidewalk. His mouth twisted the way it did when he was trying to figure something out. But what he said didn't seem all that significant.
"Hey, Ichigo. That convenience store up on the corner still there?"
"Huh? Uh, yeah. Why?"
"Well... it ain't on the way back to the gate," Renji said, looking at Rukia rather than Ichigo. "But I was thinking maybe I could pick up something to take back to the party. Bourbon. Vodka. You know. Something fancy we can't get back home. Anyways, I'll catch up with Rukia in a few. See ya, Ichigo."
He waved over his shoulder as he stalked off towards the store. Rukia didn't know if she wanted to kick him or hug him.
"What's up with him?" Ichigo asked.
Rukia snorted. "I wish I knew. I swear, every time I think I know what that idiot's thinking, he proves me wrong."
Ichigo shook his head, laughing softly. "The two of you crack me up, you know that? Uh, sorry about before, by the way. Just... sore spot."
His apology prickled her with guilt just as Ukitake-taichou's too-easy agreement to her request had.
She wondered if she should say something about how she had just hoped it would be like old times again. Like those early, frustrating days, when she was in a panic about being without support and without her powers, but at the same time feeling so very safe. So very home.
"It's okay. I'm glad you're still going to help out, though." She hesitated for a moment, before saying, "I'm sorry medical school didn't work out for you. What happened?"
Ichigo shrugged, but looked up at the sky rather than at her. When it was just the two of them, he was a lot less defensive, but that didn't mean he was going to be completely honest. "It just wasn't me, that's all."
Of course not! she almost said, but didn't. He should be a shinigami. He was good at it, it was what he was, and despite everything he had said back at the dinner table, she was still stunned at his refusal. It was logical, yes, but it wasn't right. They would talk about this more in September, oh yes they would.
Ichigo looked down at her for a moment, studying her, evaluating her.
"What?" she snapped.
"It's weird, but sometimes I feel like you're expecting me to be someone I'm not."
"I'm expecting you to be you ten years ago!" That was true enough as it was, but not entirely. For all that he could be dunderheaded enough to put Renji to shame, Ichigo sometimes had deep moments of insight. Too bad it often showed up when it wasn't wanted.
"Well, tough." Then he grinned and ruffled her hair. The smile became something more gentle. It wasn't something she saw often from him, but it always struck deep when she did. "Congrats on the promotion. About damn time, and all that."
"Thank you."
The next ruffle was more like a noogie, and she yelped.
"Now how about not letting another five years go by without a freaking visit?" Ichigo said. "And coming back in September doesn't count!"
"What! Well, how about maybe you not waiting five years to tell me about things like Orihime and Ishida getting married!"
Not to mention all of the other things she would have like to have heard about over the years. But he was right. She shouldn't have waited for a crisis to find a reason to visit.
Ichigo gaped at her for a second, then went red. "Uh, oops?" he laughed sheepishly, turning aside and rubbing the back of his head. "Guess I shoulda done that, huh? Dunno why, but I thought you'd just know, somehow. It's weird, but even though you haven't lived here for ten years, there's times I still expect to see you popping out of my closet or something."
Rukia smiled.
"Of course, it's usually when I'm about to pass out from exhaustion and I'm starting to hallucinate," he deadpanned. Then he laughed and stepped out of the way when she tried to swat him, swinging around to catch her tight in a one-armed hug and pull her against his side.
"Good to see ya, Rukia." The words were just as plain as the first time he spoke to her that evening, and they said just as much and even more.
Rukia's heart was too full for her to speak, but it was okay. Everything was okay again.
He gave her a quick squeeze then let her go. "So, September?"
She nodded. She was smiling, even though her eyes prickled.
The old cocky grin was back, and Ichigo waved goodbye as he headed back into the clinic.
Rukia watched him go, lifting her hand in a half-hearted wave. She heard Tatsuki cheerfully yell something as the door opened, but the door shut again, leaving only the whir of the air conditioner and the buzz of the cicadas.
She felt so very, very homesick, and she didn't know why. All she knew was that it was for more than those days ten years ago.
There was one obvious answer, but it was the wrong one. Ichigo was not Kaien-dono. The superficial resemblance was even stronger now that Ichigo had filled out a bit more, but she now knew that could be explained by the fact that he and Kaien-dono were blood relations. Sort of. She still didn't understand how Kurosaki Isshin's gigai worked, or was even possible.
But when she and Ichigo first met, even before she poured her power into him, he felt so familiar.
At the time, and for a long time afterwards, it made her so angry. Then, that anger became something else just as intense. What, she didn't know.
Maybe he was right. She had been expecting him to be someone else, and eventually he just became Ichigo, and all the more precious to her for that.
She was still thinking about it when Renji came back. He held two very full shopping bags in one hand. They clanked. They also sloshed.
"Hey. You ready to head back?"
She nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."
"Well, that was kind of a bust," Renji said as they started down the sidewalk. "Can't say I blame him for bein' pissed about being asked, when he put it like that. But still--a bust."
Rukia tried to think of what to say to that or if she should just tell him to shut up, but Renji wasn't done.
"Still glad we went, though. It was good to see them again." He rested his free hand on her back.
Rukia jumped a little, but relaxed before he could pull his hand away. When they passed under a streetlight, she looked down at the book Orihime had given her. The cover featured an improbably and impractically buxom robot shielding an unconscious, inhumanly pale-skinned man from an unseen attacker. Rukia smiled in fond amusement.
"Things move so fast for them," she said softly. The rate at which Ichigo and the others were aging frightened her. Five years had slid past and so much had happened without her noticing. Even with the promise she had made him, what would happen if she looked up one day to find that thirteen years had slipped by? Or thirty? What if one day she came back to Karakura, expecting to find that young boy she still pictured and instead found an old man, white-haired and struggling to breathe? She wrapped her arms around herself as if warding off a chill despite the oppressive heat.
"Hey, we're going to go back when Orihime and Ishida have their kid, right?" Renji sounded more enthusiastic about the idea than she would have expected. "That's just a couple of months. Two months is nothing, even for humans. Anyhow, what's up with Ichigo and Tatsuki? You think there's something going on there?"
Rukia started to answer even before she knew how she would answer. Yes, she felt a twinge of jealousy at the idea of Ichigo and Tatsuki together, but it wasn't the right sort of jealousy. It wasn't the feeling of having something taken away from her. It was lonelier than that.
"You know, I honestly don't know. They've been close since they were kids..."
Just like you and I were.
"But when I was trapped in the living world, Ichigo kept pushing her away, and kept shutting her out 'for her own good.'"
Just like you did, when the Kuchiki family came to take me away and you let me go like it meant nothing to you.
"It seems like they patched things up well enough, though. But I don't know if they're... you know."
And every time I think I know what you're thinking, you prove me wrong yet again.
"Maybe." She shrugged. "Who knows? But I could see it happening. Maybe."
It seemed absolutely right and absolutely wrong at the same time, and she had no idea how to explain this, even to herself.
"It was good to see them again, you're right, and I'm glad we came. But..."
"Not what you thought, huh?" Renji said gently.
She swallowed, hard. "Yeah."
Renji let his hand slide away from her back, but it was only to reach down at the same time she reached over, and they walked back to the gate hand-in-hand.
Chapter Four: In which Byakuya overindulges at a party and has an unsettling encounter on the way home.