Where You Should Be Tonight...

[presentient]

If you aren't hundreds of miles away (sorry to those of you that are) you should be at Club Static tonight, for I will be DJing along with dj Asbestos. If you don't come, I can't be responsible for any pain, torment, suffering, nose-bleeds, rectal-bleeding, strange lesions, synaptic misfirings, boredom, toxic shock, asthma attacks, plagues of insects and/or other annoying/dangerous creatures, indigestion, blurred vision, numbed tongue, tinnitus, gray hairs, illiteracy, hair loss, brain damage, corneal detachments, halotosis, paranoia, demon-hounding, hydrophobia, contraction of previously undiscovered viruses, accidental poisonings, automobile/pedestrian collisions, executions, hangings, falling down, head trauma, sudden concussive blasts, overdoses, stingray mishaps, tiger-maulings, contraction of previously discovered viruses, severe bacterial infections, spontaneous combustion or any other unfortunate circumstances that may occur as a result.

Sorry for the short notice, but I don't want any terrible things to happen...