It's after 3 in the morning and I want to ramble
I have this feeling about my upcoming move like I'm jumping into the deep end with no idea what is really waiting for me but that I've always wanted to swim at that end of the pool anyway. I hope I can somehow find my social 'fit' and enjoy what I've always thought I've missed; population, an urban environment, proximity to the coast and culture (whatever that really is).
I have this slight feeling that I'm flailing but also that I've succeeded at the same time. I've found myself spacing off a lot lately, thinking about key people in my life that are here in Wichita that for one reason or another I don't have the relationship with them that I would like, and I'm annoyed with myself over that. There's about a half dozen people here that I really wish I could take with me, and I'm scared I won't see them again, and I wish I could explain that to them as some sort of next best thing. They probably know that I will miss them, that I do value our friendship, but it still leaves me feeling bad about it all.
I have this slight feeling that I'm flailing but also that I've succeeded at the same time. I've found myself spacing off a lot lately, thinking about key people in my life that are here in Wichita that for one reason or another I don't have the relationship with them that I would like, and I'm annoyed with myself over that. There's about a half dozen people here that I really wish I could take with me, and I'm scared I won't see them again, and I wish I could explain that to them as some sort of next best thing. They probably know that I will miss them, that I do value our friendship, but it still leaves me feeling bad about it all.