I've been behind....
The year 2005 comes to a close, and I realize a lot of things as the clock hit 12:00. You took all of me, a long time ago, and I'm still dwelling on it, and letting you get the best of me. After that July I figured the best thing was for you to go away to school, and that way I wouldn't have to deal with you, ever again. I was wrong, you came back, you always come back. I found myself in a state of shock, feeling like you were actually gone, and I could live my entire life the way I wanted to. I fooled myself once again, and now, it's still the same thing, as always. Basically 2 years later, I'm still dwelling on the fact that you can't give up on me. You gave up on me when you were fucking someone else, and lying about it. You gave up on me when you were going out drinking every nite, but when I did it once, it was the end of the world. You gave up on me when it was time to go to college. Well, now it's my turn. I gave up on you when you left. I gave up on you when you lied, and cheated. I gave up on you when you came back and tried to make things "work". Too bad, it didn't work, I know you better than that. You came back because you wanted ass, and you didn't get any. Too fucking bad, isn't it? It wasn't that easy to love you, because you were a prick, but it was so easy to hate you. October 30, 2004. Remember that? Of course you do, where were you when that happened? On the phone, the minute you saw a car on my street that didn't resemble the ones that are parked there, you found out that you weren't the center of my universe anymore. Funny, that was the nite that I started going out with someone who actually cared about me, someone who still to this very day, a year and two months later, gives me what I want, and what I deserve. I sit here and I'm worried that he's going to hurt me. Why do I think that? Why do I worry? Because of you. You know what, I'm sick of this, I'm sick of being a pushover and I'm sick of being your easiest target. 2006 -- I graduate from high school, and this is also the year I get rid of you. You know exactly everything you've done to me, and if you don't, I've got witnesses. People you didn't like, people that knew how bad you were for me, and told me about it. I'm happy that other people saw what a fucking douche bag you were, because if they didn't, I would have taken everything worse than I did. You were the one who kept telling me "You don't have to go to school, you know you'll pass anyway. Stay home, we'll be together, or I'll call you." Wow! I listened, and what happened to me? I failed English and I had to pay over $100 to do correspondance courses over the summer. You were too busy with track, and fucking girls, and Richie, and fucking girls, and being a big broot, and fucking girls. Too bad you thought I never knew, because I did, and I cheated on you, too. Whatever, nope, you took it "so hard." Son of a gun. It ends up that now that I'm happy with my BOYFRIEND (look that word up) you feel the need to be up my ass. It's not going to work. It's your fault that I'm so mean to everyone, and that I gave up caring. Now I can understand why my BOYFRIEND gets upset over you calling, and seeing me, and texting me, and iming me. I'd feel the same way if his ex's started to do that, I'd probably feel worse. It hurts to be with someone and know that someone else wants them, it doesn't make you happy that you have the person, it makes you nervous and upset that you might lose them. For you, you wouldn't have an idea how that feels, because you had everyone you wanted at once. Fuck that shit, I'm not like you. I won't cheat on my BOYFRIEND to make someone else happy. You're the one who tries to turn me against my BOYFRIEND and make me worry about him, and tell me he cheats on me, and then I end up upsetting him because I actually BELIEVE you. Well, like Fall Out Boy says, the best part of believe is the LIE. That's all you seem to do, it must be the SPIC in you. This year, it's going to be me and my BOYFRIEND. It's going to be me and my FRIENDS (remember the people you didn't want me to hang out with, because they weren't "good enough"?) After all this time, the end of last year, and this summer, and this year, I've been hanging out with them, and they make me so happy. They make me happy because they don't want me to be someone I'm not, and neither does my BOYFRIEND. He can accept me being "too chubby" as you used to say. He accepts me being "not pretty" as you used to say. Wow! It seems like HE ACCEPTS ME! ACCEPTS ME, ACCEPTS MY FRIENDS, AND ACCEPTS MY FAMILY! I thought if anyone could accept family, it'd be you, being spanish and italian, I could see why no one accepts your family. My BOYFRIEND actually has pretty decent friends, but I'm just worried that they'll be like Richie. Maybe now I can ACCEPT his friends. Unfortunately for you, your time has expired. As of 1/1/06, you lost all your chances. I was willing, a long time ago, to give you a chance to be friends, and you ruined every chance you had. The stalking, the gayness, the spanishness, all stops here, it's over. Between you and me, everyone I know, that knows about you, thinks you're a psycho (MY MOM INCLUDED). Shocking? No! You need to know that I'm over you. You need to know that I can honestly say that if I saw you on the side of the road, dirty, greasy, and poor, I'd probably drive right by you, and throw my garbage out the window at you. You've pushed me past the point of return, and now, I'm not going to be a pushover, I'm going to live my life, and I'm going to live it better than ever before. I'll live my life with my BOYFRIEND, FRIENDS, AND FAMILY! I'll forget all about you, I'll change my phone number, I'll change my appearance, I'll even change my screen name, just for you. Don't you feel special? Too bad you couldn't meet my BOYFRIEND, he'd probably love to give you a punch in the face. I'm kinda sorry he never had the chance. GET THE MESSAGE, PEACE FAGGOT! <3 2006 is my year <3