RIP Mr. Drain Snake
Today, I needed to go to Homo Depot. I stopped on my way back from Charm City. I was wearing a rugby shirt, sneakers and plaid pj pants. So what? You wanna make something of it?
I didn't think so...
I ran into this leatherguy I used to work with and then ran into one of the ex's minions. Oh what joy to be dressed like this and seeing those folks. Then it dawned on me, who gives a shit what people I don't really care for think? I mean...really!
But this post is not about them...it is about my drain. My very slow moving drain. My same drain that I paid Roto-Rooter 300 bucks to come and fix last year. The dude used a 25 foot snake last time, so that is what I bought at the Homo Depot. His was electric, I opted for the mid range, metal model.
I got it home and immediately began to set it all up. I fucked with the snake and the drain for over an hour and a heap good manly stink to no avail. I looked up some hints and everything said just be patient. I was. I persisted. I took apart the overflow drain. That all looked fine. I kept pushing the snake into the drain deeper and deeper. I got about 20 feet out. I live in a condo, so twenty feet means it is in the main pipe, not my immediate unit. So, again, I am cleaning up other peoples shit, too!
I felt the snake jerk when I was winding it. It had caught something. I slowly pulled it back. I got most of it wound back when it would not budge. But I knew I had gotten the clog because the water I had put in the tub to tell me when I got it, all sucked right out, nice and fast.
I tugged and tugged. I grunted and tugged. I man-stinked and tugged. I sweated and tugged. Nothing.
So I crawled down there for a closer look and I saw why there was no give.
A hairball, the size of my head, which contained no hair from my head mind you, was trapped just below the drain basket. It was no use. The thing was so big it was not coming out. Unless I could get the basket out.
No go.
So, I got a mallet and screwdriver and broke the little basket apart. Out came the monster.
It was fucking huge.
And man, oh man, did it ever stink!
Dear sweet jesus, it was so nasty.
So then came the next phase, clean up.
I was going to have to cut away the enormous hairball from the end of the snake. Oh dear god...NO! Not with any of my sharp implements.
Fuck that, yo!
So, I figured this little equation out...
Cost of plumber 300 bucks, which I did not spend.
Cost of snake, 13 bucks.
Cost of me having to clean that ginormous, stinky, nasty-ass hairball out of it? Huh, there ain't enough money in the world!
Now I say, rest in peace my little drain snake. We only knew one another for an afternoon. But you served me well.
I shall return soon with a real live update on my life, as I am sure a few of you noticed, I hadn't done in a month or so.
So much to tell...but now, I must scrub my tub and take a much earned shower!
I didn't think so...
I ran into this leatherguy I used to work with and then ran into one of the ex's minions. Oh what joy to be dressed like this and seeing those folks. Then it dawned on me, who gives a shit what people I don't really care for think? I mean...really!
But this post is not about them...it is about my drain. My very slow moving drain. My same drain that I paid Roto-Rooter 300 bucks to come and fix last year. The dude used a 25 foot snake last time, so that is what I bought at the Homo Depot. His was electric, I opted for the mid range, metal model.
I got it home and immediately began to set it all up. I fucked with the snake and the drain for over an hour and a heap good manly stink to no avail. I looked up some hints and everything said just be patient. I was. I persisted. I took apart the overflow drain. That all looked fine. I kept pushing the snake into the drain deeper and deeper. I got about 20 feet out. I live in a condo, so twenty feet means it is in the main pipe, not my immediate unit. So, again, I am cleaning up other peoples shit, too!
I felt the snake jerk when I was winding it. It had caught something. I slowly pulled it back. I got most of it wound back when it would not budge. But I knew I had gotten the clog because the water I had put in the tub to tell me when I got it, all sucked right out, nice and fast.
I tugged and tugged. I grunted and tugged. I man-stinked and tugged. I sweated and tugged. Nothing.
So I crawled down there for a closer look and I saw why there was no give.
A hairball, the size of my head, which contained no hair from my head mind you, was trapped just below the drain basket. It was no use. The thing was so big it was not coming out. Unless I could get the basket out.
No go.
So, I got a mallet and screwdriver and broke the little basket apart. Out came the monster.
It was fucking huge.
And man, oh man, did it ever stink!
Dear sweet jesus, it was so nasty.
So then came the next phase, clean up.
I was going to have to cut away the enormous hairball from the end of the snake. Oh dear god...NO! Not with any of my sharp implements.
Fuck that, yo!
So, I figured this little equation out...
Cost of plumber 300 bucks, which I did not spend.
Cost of snake, 13 bucks.
Cost of me having to clean that ginormous, stinky, nasty-ass hairball out of it? Huh, there ain't enough money in the world!
Now I say, rest in peace my little drain snake. We only knew one another for an afternoon. But you served me well.
I shall return soon with a real live update on my life, as I am sure a few of you noticed, I hadn't done in a month or so.
So much to tell...but now, I must scrub my tub and take a much earned shower!