How did I get here?
Upon this journey of self discovery, I am finding out who I am not, more often than who I am.
I see who I used to be, very clearly. I can see the mistakes I made plain as day. I can see how I struggled. I see how I used to love.
I am changing, somedays in more noticeable ways than others. Each day is a new chance to move along a little bit further.
Somedays, I am almost unrecognizable to myself. I look in the mirror and stare at my face and into my eyes and wonder, who are you? Where did you come from? How did I become you?
I don't know that life intends for us to answer those great questions.
My intent is to continue on this journey and work to become who I can.
Sadly, I cannot be all things to all people. I cannot be most things or even something to some people. It does not make me defective or bad or wrong, it just makes me...me.
I keep walking ahead, discovering more and more of myself. Sometimes that means I must walk alone. It is hard to leave the ones you love at a crossroads or on the side of the road. It is heartbreaking to think of all the good you had and all you leave behind. It is painful to make choices sometimes. It is bittersweet to recognize what will never come to be.
Yet, today, I am ok feeling lonely at times and missing familiar companionship. I realize the loneliness is a temporary condition that will pass, in due course.
My strength to keep moving comes from deep within my soul, where I know it is the right step to take. As I am often reminded this journey is a step at a time, yet this is life's journey and it can be long. We never know what lies ahead and who might be waiting for us at the next junction and where the whole path leads.
I just walk it.