+ 00[2] // PHS to Zack;

[preposterism]

[//unhackable; You can hear Kunsel singing in the background. Sion is clearly in a much better mood, after having found his family's liquor cabinet completely untouched... But we'll soon see that the boys can collectively do more damage than Meteor itself.]

OI, ZACKERY FAIR~~~

Kunsel here tells me YOU'RE BACK.

And you didn't let me know sooner.

Comments

[PHS - to Sai]

[neverwinged]

[Way to nearly blast Zack's eardrums to bits, Sai. After taking a moment to recover by holding the phone at arm's length away, therefore missing half of that call, he brings it back to his ear in time to hear something about a present, and something about Kunsel being . . . Kunsel.]

. . . is this the kind of present that ends with me being royally embarassed, or the kind that's all wrapped up in a bow and shiny paper?

'Cause, y'know. Either way it's comin' from you, an' that's an automatic warning right there.

[ to the tune of 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' ]

[iluphone]

[ Kunsel's voice is a little distant, but even so he sounds distinctly inebriated. ]

I WANNA BE WRAPPED IN A BOW AND SHINY PAPER!

Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai~~~~ Wraaaap me in a bow and give me to Zaaaaackyyyyyyyy~ [ hic ]

...ffft, what was I doin' aga-- OH!

ZACKY LISTEN T'MY SONG! 'S A GOOD SONG! I LOVE THIS SONG. AND ME. AND YOU!

AND I LOVE YOU TOO ASHLEY~ DON'T MAKE THAT FAAAACE~

'K GOING NOW!

[ Ahem. This is to the tune of 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' ]

Zacky had a chocobo~
Chocobo! ChoCObo~!
Zacky had a chocobo,
Whose coat was black as coal~
And everywhere that Zacky went~
Zacky went! Zacky went~
Everywhere that Zacky went,
the bird was sure to stroll~

She followed him to work one day~
Work one day~ Work one day!
She followed him to work one day,
and how doom did descend~
It made the SOLDIERs laugh and point~
Laugh and point! Laugh and point!
It made the SOLDIERs laugh and point~
To see Zack's new girl~friend.

And then Angela turned it out~
Turned it out! Turned it out!And then Angela turned it out

Re: [ to the tune of 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' ]

[preposterism]

[You can hear Sai trying to strangle Kunsel away from the receiver-- He's a little breathy (considering he's still freshly undead), but manages to gasp:]

What ever are you talking about, Zack my sweet?

[And then, you hear him snapping at Kunsel:]

WHATEVER, KUNT. GET. OFF. OF. ME.

[There's a little bit of crashing and clattering as boys and already-broken furniture end up on the ground--]

...Jus'... get over... here, please.

[neverwinged]

[That facepalm miiiiiight be audible over the phone.]

. . . so y'both went and got y'selves hammered, an then called me?

I feel the love, man. I really, really do.

[iluphone]

Hey! Be sensitive, Zacky~ Ash-y woke up an' his whole family was dead and shit, okay? Now cooome oooooover~~~~ 'snot like we didn't save any for you! There's lots!

And hey! Hey! Didn't you like my song? I worked real hard on that! I wrote it here on this kinda burnt napkin... Where'd I put it...

[ Kunsel's tact, once drunk, goes down to zero. ]

[preposterism]

[Insulted.]

And I'm not hammered, you know me better than that.

Seriously. There's a shitton left.
Aaaaand, we're taking shots for every minute you're late.

Just kidding.

But if you don't get here in time, Kunsel will be finishing everything off.

...Just kidding.

BUT SERIOUSLY, ZACCHAEUS, SERIOUSLY. HURRY IT UP.

[neverwinged]

[Siiigh.] Hi, Kunsel. Yes, I heard your song. It's very pretty.

. . . Za-what?

Guess that means I better be hurryin' my ass over there, huh? On my way, just give me a minute.

An' if there's nothin' left by the time I get there, I'm kickin' both your asses into the nearest pit o'Malboros. No helmets.

[iluphone]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay my song is pretty! Didja hear, Sai~? Didja hear? It's pretty! It's art--

[iluphone]

...

...did Zack just say 'pit o'Malboros'? [ ← Kunsel sounds abruptly sober here. ]