(no subject)
I laid in bed holding the book that helped me get over you those many months ago
I held onto it like all the words would somehow seep into my brain
And give me peace.
But they didn’t and now I just have to wait.
Wait until that moment where I know I can stand on my own without thinking about you.
Those moments where I am having so much fun I forget to think about you and
When I finally do, I don’t feel
Guilty.
I want those moments back.
I want the moments where thinking about you never even occurs to me until after the fact.
I want you to be seven hours away instead of twenty minutes
And I want you to hurt-
I pulled into your empty driveway this afternoon thanking God that no one was home to see my sleek black car park in front of your den.
I left the engine running, grabbed the plastic bag that held a picture of us, and that ugly necklace you bought me for Christmas. The one that was supposed to cover up how we really felt for each other. A necklace that was never me to begin with. It only proved how little you know about me.
Pink.
Pink inside little hearts.
Pink inside little hearts on a small silver chain.
Pink inside little hearts on a small silver chain with a tiny clasp.
The symbolism of that tiny clasp blew me away the other day when I tried to put it on myself.
I couldn’t do it.
It was too small.
You should have bought the big clasp to compensate-
Ugh, why do you make me so angry?
Oh wait, is that a silly question or what?
You make me angry because you treat me bad.
You’re selfish.
You blow me off for your friends. But you have blown off everyone for your “other” friends, so I don’t feel too bad about that.
You put so much effort into coming to see me at school when we were 4 hours away and now I don’t see any effort now that we are only 20 minutes away.
I gave you an ultimatum last night and you failed. I wasn’t surprised. I washed my hands of you this afternoon when I dropped off your things. Yes, your things. I don’t want to have to look at an ugly necklace and then be reminded of having to get myself off the last time you attempted to be good at sex.
Whoa.
On the plus side I got my grades back and i have a 3.46 GPA YAY!!!! I went out with a bang this time!
I should probably start getting ready to go out tonite for another night on the town..
I have to work all weekend, but maybe i will post on mon or something
Oh and i'm going to Aruba soon!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!! Graduating from college is the best, i tell ya, the best.
Oh and i started my pilates regime today, my powerhouse is hurtin :)
Be safe.
I held onto it like all the words would somehow seep into my brain
And give me peace.
But they didn’t and now I just have to wait.
Wait until that moment where I know I can stand on my own without thinking about you.
Those moments where I am having so much fun I forget to think about you and
When I finally do, I don’t feel
Guilty.
I want those moments back.
I want the moments where thinking about you never even occurs to me until after the fact.
I want you to be seven hours away instead of twenty minutes
And I want you to hurt-
I pulled into your empty driveway this afternoon thanking God that no one was home to see my sleek black car park in front of your den.
I left the engine running, grabbed the plastic bag that held a picture of us, and that ugly necklace you bought me for Christmas. The one that was supposed to cover up how we really felt for each other. A necklace that was never me to begin with. It only proved how little you know about me.
Pink.
Pink inside little hearts.
Pink inside little hearts on a small silver chain.
Pink inside little hearts on a small silver chain with a tiny clasp.
The symbolism of that tiny clasp blew me away the other day when I tried to put it on myself.
I couldn’t do it.
It was too small.
You should have bought the big clasp to compensate-
Ugh, why do you make me so angry?
Oh wait, is that a silly question or what?
You make me angry because you treat me bad.
You’re selfish.
You blow me off for your friends. But you have blown off everyone for your “other” friends, so I don’t feel too bad about that.
You put so much effort into coming to see me at school when we were 4 hours away and now I don’t see any effort now that we are only 20 minutes away.
I gave you an ultimatum last night and you failed. I wasn’t surprised. I washed my hands of you this afternoon when I dropped off your things. Yes, your things. I don’t want to have to look at an ugly necklace and then be reminded of having to get myself off the last time you attempted to be good at sex.
Whoa.
On the plus side I got my grades back and i have a 3.46 GPA YAY!!!! I went out with a bang this time!
I should probably start getting ready to go out tonite for another night on the town..
I have to work all weekend, but maybe i will post on mon or something
Oh and i'm going to Aruba soon!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!! Graduating from college is the best, i tell ya, the best.
Oh and i started my pilates regime today, my powerhouse is hurtin :)
Be safe.