fic: in perpetuum
Title: In Perpetuum
Pairing/Group: Takki/Yamapi gen!
Rating: PG
Warnings: Some language.
Notes: The questions are meant to be left up to your imagination. These are also completely made up answers, by the way. Written for wanderingreen for je_holiday. ♥ The cut text quote is from Life’s Good Translations.
Summary: There is a history, and more than just a grain of truth, behind each answer.
T - I don’t know, actually. It feels like it’s been forever, ne, Pi?
Y - Yeah. (laughs) If my life was divided into pre-Johnny’s and in-Johnny’s, I would say that I’ve known Takki-senpai for all of the latter.
Takizawa’s got an unmistakable eye for aesthetics - he’s always been a bit easy that way, so easily swayed by pretty eyes and full lips, male or female.
He sees Yamashita Tomohisa walking around one day in the juniors wing, completely lost, and the rest, as they say, is history. Yamashita Tomohisa, who tells him timidly that it’s okay to call him just Tomohisa or Yamashita or “actually, whatever Takizawa-senpai wants,” he had hastened to add, is eleven and Takizawa already knows he is going to be devastating when he finally grows into those big eyes and pouty mouth.
Takizawa is fourteen going on fifteen and is unique in the way that he has always known what he likes; his parents call it selfishness, he calls it self-preservation.
“Hi,” he says, smiling his kindest smile (with only the barest of intentions behind it). “Are you lost?”
“…Yes,” Yamashita finally admits, blinking rapidly as if on the verge of tears. “Can you help me?”
“No problem,” Takizawa says, and leads him to the room with all the new recruits, all of whom are fidgeting nervously.
“Thank you, senpai,” Yamashita says brightly in a sudden change of mood. The other juniors all look on with wide eyes and kind of slack-jawed in awe, especially when Takizawa reaches out and gives Yamashita an impromptu hug.
“Don’t worry about it,” he tells a beaming Yamashita. “I’m your senpai after all. It’s my duty to help you, ne.”
Yamashita makes it a point to greet Takizawa at every chance he gets after that. Takizawa finds it sweet, even when Tsubasa raises his eyebrows and makes confused, slightly annoyed faces at him.
(Of course, Yamashita manages to win over Tsubasa, just as Takizawa had hoped he would.
“Like my parents!” Yamashita says earnestly, and Takizawa laughs at the look on Tsubasa’s face.
“Annoying, huh,” he teases gently. “Bet all mothers call their kids that.”
“Go away,” Tsubasa mutters, coughing into his fist. “And why am I the mother, huh?”)
T - Pi has always been popular, I think, whether it was with juniors his age or the older juniors. I’ve always been kind of jealous of that, ne? (laughs)
Y - Takki-senpai’s such a liar! He was way more popular than me! I don’t think there was anyone who didn’t like Takki-senpai.
It’s not so much of a stretch to say that Yamashita (who has become just Yamapi somewhere along the way) is pretty popular, both inside and outside of the company. Takizawa (who has become just Takki-senpai along the way) feels like a proud father when he thinks about it, like Yamapi is the beautiful daughter who has finally made her debut.
It’s not rare to see a young Yamapi walking home with Jin, arguing loudly about which Dragonball character can kick ass better, or an older Yamapi giggling with Aiba on the set of their various show tapings, or an even older Yamapi acting as seriously as he can with Nino on camera, and like a complete loser off.
But despite all of Yamapi’s friends and admirers, or maybe because of it, Yamapi’s favorite, his idol, his god-on-a-pedestal, always remains Takki, who’s always ready with a smile and a punch on the shoulder whenever he sees Yamapi. When Jin argues with him on which senpai is cooler, Yamapi practically starts a fight and a who-knows-how-long cold war when Jin adamantly refuses to acknowledge Takki-senpai as coolest.
Y: I guess you can say that…Takki-senpai’s taught me all that I know? (laughs)
“Rule number one,” Takki tells Yamapi sternly, “don’t cry.”
Yamapi sniffs noisily and tries his best to comply, arranging his features in what he hopes is…well, anything that doesn’t make him look like he’s crying.
Takki’s expression softens, and he nudges Yamapi’s shoulder with his. “Ne,” he says softly. “I know it’s hard. I’m sorry, Tomohisa.”
Yamapi, whose face is beginning to hurt from holding back the tears, just nods. He bites his lip and scrunches up his face in an attempt to keep himself from crying, and Takki almost wants to laugh at the effort Yamapi is making, if only it weren’t totally inappropriate for the moment. He files the memory away as fodder for later, because he trusts in Yamapi’s inherent optimism to be enough to get over this.
“ ‘S not your fault, senpai,” Yamapi mumbles, shuffling his feet. “It’s okay. Knew it was going to happen.” Shuffles a bit more, and then - “Not like you and Tsubasa-senpai, ne.” The last words are said so quietly that Takki almost misses them, and then he gets an uncomfortable feeling in his chest just by the look on Yamapi’s face. “Not,” Yamapi adds quickly, “not that I’m blaming you and Tsubasa-senpai, just. Just, you know. Jealous, is all.”
Yamapi looks both apologetic and still upset, and Takki melts, giving up. “Oh come here,” Takki sighs, and pulls Yamapi into a hug like he is eleven and lost again. “Just this once, you can cry, okay.”
“Thanks,” Takki hears, a few seconds later. Yamapi looks up at him with a shaky smile, and then jokes feebly, “I don’t think you should be talking though, ne. You cried when you debuted too, remember.”
Takki doesn’t say what he and Yamapi are probably both thinking - that it’s not the same, that Takki didn’t cry because he didn’t want to be there, but because he had wanted it so much he couldn’t believe it was happening. Instead, Takki laughs, and shrugs. “You caught me, Pi. I’m a hypocrite.”
T: Yamapi’s so annoying, ne? He wouldn’t stop calling me when he debuted, always asking me questions. (laughs) Just kidding. I didn’t mind.
“Senpai,” Yamapi whines over the phone, and Takki can hear the frown in his voice. “Senpai, what do I do?”
“Hi Yamapi,” Takki says cheerfully. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything,” Yamapi explodes. “Ryo-chan and Uchi-kun don’t want to talk anyone else, and Moriuchi-kun hates it and wants to leave and Koyama-kun is too nice and it makes me feel bad and Tegoshi-kun keeps apologizing for everything and Massu-kun - Massu-kun eats too much and Kato-kun is like, I don’t know, scared of Ryo-chan or something and. And, okay, that’s it, but. No one told me being leader would be this hard,” Yamapi finishes, voice pitching higher and higher in a whine.
“Calm down,” Takki says, laughing. “How long have you been a group? Like, two days?” He ignores Yamapi’s cry of “Twenty!” and plows on - “Obviously you’re going to have problems. Did you expect to be best friends just because you’re in the same group or something?”
Yamapi falters. “Well, no,” he says. “But! But 4TOPS was never like this,” he mutters under his breath, and Takki thinks they’ve hit the root of the problem.
“Yeah,” Takki says gently, “but 4TOPS had years together. Give yourselves some time, Pi-chan. Don’t be so impatient. You’re the leader now, you’ve got to learn how to work to everyone’s strengths.”
There’s silence for a minute, and then Yamapi grumbles, “I could’ve told you that.”
“Yeah, well,” Takki sniffs. “Take your own damn advice then.”
(A few years later, when Uchi and Kusano are suspended, Yamapi calls again, but this time he’s genuinely upset.
“I’m so fucking stupid,” Yamapi says dully.
Takki hesitates, because what can he say in a situation like this? “Pi. Yamapi. Don’t be like this. No you’re not. It’s not your fault.”
Yamapi lets out a harsh laugh, and almost sobs out, “Then, what? It’s theirs? Fuck. I don’t know. Since when was it a fucking crime to act your age?”
Takki doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t know what to say. Yamapi curses, and sniffs loudly. “I hate this fucking business,” he says quietly. “I hate it. I hate it for being my life, hate it for taking away my options, my future. Hate it for taking me away from people I care about.”
“I’m sorry,” Takki finally breathes out. “I’m sorry I don’t have anything to say that will help. I’m sorry I can’t tell you that’s not true.”
Yamapi laughs, and it’s a little sad, a little bitter, a little heartbreaking to hear something so cynical in someone so young. “It’s okay. Thanks anyways, senpai. Sorry, ne.”)
T: It was like, one day Yamapi was my cute eleven year old kouhai…and the next, he was twenty and not so cute anymore. (laughs) Kids these days.
Y: Ahh, Takki-senpai is so embarrassing, ne? (laughs)
“No time for your favorite senpai anymore?” Takki asks, pouting, when Yamapi runs in to ask a question about Takki and Tsubasa’s Shounen Club performance schedule and do you think you could ask Koyama when you see him what he’s going to do with all the costumes in our room? and then runs out.
Yamapi sticks his head back in, rolling his eyes. “Who said you’re my favorite senpai,” Yamapi asks, nose wrinkling. “Too busy being a good leader, sorry, I’ve got responsibilities now you know, see you later, okay! Bye, favorite senpai!” He wiggles his fingers at Takki, and takes off at a sprint in the direction of the NEWS’ dressing room.
“You owe me lunch!” Takki yells at the door, even though he knows it’s already too late and Yamapi’s already gone off doing his important Band Leader Duties.
Yamapi surprises him the next day by bringing him lunch in the middle of Shounen Club taping, kicking Koyama in the shin when he comes over to steal something.
“For Takki-senpai,” he says, stealing the plastic container back. “Get your own lunch, you tool!”
“Ouch,” Koyama cries, clutching at his heart. “Ouch, leader-sama, is this how you treat your hardworking bandmates? By denying them proper nourishment?” He staggers theatrically, and Yamapi giggles, before smacking him.
“Fine,” Yamapi relents, and chucks a rice ball at Koyama. “Eat that, and get back to your job, slacker. The kids are gathering and I don’t have enough for fifty-odd twelve year olds.” He scrunches up his nose mock-threateningly at Hikaru, who laughs nervously and scuttles away to Yabu’s side.
“Thanks,” Takki says gratefully, shoveling rice in his mouth. “I haven’t eaten since breakfast, actually.”
“Yeah, I know,” Yamapi replies, smiling. “Tsubasa-senpai told me when I was looking for you.”
“Ahh,” Takki hums, making a mental note to give Tsubasa a really big hug later. “Being responsible, aren’t we?” He means the words to be lighthearted and joking, but it comes out almost melancholy - Takki’s never been good with change.
Yamapi grins, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Just repaying the debt,” he sing-songs, stealing some of Takki’s food.
Y: When Takki-senpai first asked me, my first instinct was to say ‘no.’ (laughs) Just kidding. I’m happy that we’ll be able to do this together.
T: What! That’s not funny! I’m going to take you out of the track listing.
Y: Just kidding, senpai! I’m honored to work with you, ne. I’m very excited about the end result myself, so everyone, look out for it!
Pairing/Group: Takki/Yamapi gen!
Rating: PG
Warnings: Some language.
Notes: The questions are meant to be left up to your imagination. These are also completely made up answers, by the way. Written for wanderingreen for je_holiday. ♥ The cut text quote is from Life’s Good Translations.
Summary: There is a history, and more than just a grain of truth, behind each answer.
T - I don’t know, actually. It feels like it’s been forever, ne, Pi?
Y - Yeah. (laughs) If my life was divided into pre-Johnny’s and in-Johnny’s, I would say that I’ve known Takki-senpai for all of the latter.
Takizawa’s got an unmistakable eye for aesthetics - he’s always been a bit easy that way, so easily swayed by pretty eyes and full lips, male or female.
He sees Yamashita Tomohisa walking around one day in the juniors wing, completely lost, and the rest, as they say, is history. Yamashita Tomohisa, who tells him timidly that it’s okay to call him just Tomohisa or Yamashita or “actually, whatever Takizawa-senpai wants,” he had hastened to add, is eleven and Takizawa already knows he is going to be devastating when he finally grows into those big eyes and pouty mouth.
Takizawa is fourteen going on fifteen and is unique in the way that he has always known what he likes; his parents call it selfishness, he calls it self-preservation.
“Hi,” he says, smiling his kindest smile (with only the barest of intentions behind it). “Are you lost?”
“…Yes,” Yamashita finally admits, blinking rapidly as if on the verge of tears. “Can you help me?”
“No problem,” Takizawa says, and leads him to the room with all the new recruits, all of whom are fidgeting nervously.
“Thank you, senpai,” Yamashita says brightly in a sudden change of mood. The other juniors all look on with wide eyes and kind of slack-jawed in awe, especially when Takizawa reaches out and gives Yamashita an impromptu hug.
“Don’t worry about it,” he tells a beaming Yamashita. “I’m your senpai after all. It’s my duty to help you, ne.”
Yamashita makes it a point to greet Takizawa at every chance he gets after that. Takizawa finds it sweet, even when Tsubasa raises his eyebrows and makes confused, slightly annoyed faces at him.
(Of course, Yamashita manages to win over Tsubasa, just as Takizawa had hoped he would.
“Like my parents!” Yamashita says earnestly, and Takizawa laughs at the look on Tsubasa’s face.
“Annoying, huh,” he teases gently. “Bet all mothers call their kids that.”
“Go away,” Tsubasa mutters, coughing into his fist. “And why am I the mother, huh?”)
T - Pi has always been popular, I think, whether it was with juniors his age or the older juniors. I’ve always been kind of jealous of that, ne? (laughs)
Y - Takki-senpai’s such a liar! He was way more popular than me! I don’t think there was anyone who didn’t like Takki-senpai.
It’s not so much of a stretch to say that Yamashita (who has become just Yamapi somewhere along the way) is pretty popular, both inside and outside of the company. Takizawa (who has become just Takki-senpai along the way) feels like a proud father when he thinks about it, like Yamapi is the beautiful daughter who has finally made her debut.
It’s not rare to see a young Yamapi walking home with Jin, arguing loudly about which Dragonball character can kick ass better, or an older Yamapi giggling with Aiba on the set of their various show tapings, or an even older Yamapi acting as seriously as he can with Nino on camera, and like a complete loser off.
But despite all of Yamapi’s friends and admirers, or maybe because of it, Yamapi’s favorite, his idol, his god-on-a-pedestal, always remains Takki, who’s always ready with a smile and a punch on the shoulder whenever he sees Yamapi. When Jin argues with him on which senpai is cooler, Yamapi practically starts a fight and a who-knows-how-long cold war when Jin adamantly refuses to acknowledge Takki-senpai as coolest.
Y: I guess you can say that…Takki-senpai’s taught me all that I know? (laughs)
“Rule number one,” Takki tells Yamapi sternly, “don’t cry.”
Yamapi sniffs noisily and tries his best to comply, arranging his features in what he hopes is…well, anything that doesn’t make him look like he’s crying.
Takki’s expression softens, and he nudges Yamapi’s shoulder with his. “Ne,” he says softly. “I know it’s hard. I’m sorry, Tomohisa.”
Yamapi, whose face is beginning to hurt from holding back the tears, just nods. He bites his lip and scrunches up his face in an attempt to keep himself from crying, and Takki almost wants to laugh at the effort Yamapi is making, if only it weren’t totally inappropriate for the moment. He files the memory away as fodder for later, because he trusts in Yamapi’s inherent optimism to be enough to get over this.
“ ‘S not your fault, senpai,” Yamapi mumbles, shuffling his feet. “It’s okay. Knew it was going to happen.” Shuffles a bit more, and then - “Not like you and Tsubasa-senpai, ne.” The last words are said so quietly that Takki almost misses them, and then he gets an uncomfortable feeling in his chest just by the look on Yamapi’s face. “Not,” Yamapi adds quickly, “not that I’m blaming you and Tsubasa-senpai, just. Just, you know. Jealous, is all.”
Yamapi looks both apologetic and still upset, and Takki melts, giving up. “Oh come here,” Takki sighs, and pulls Yamapi into a hug like he is eleven and lost again. “Just this once, you can cry, okay.”
“Thanks,” Takki hears, a few seconds later. Yamapi looks up at him with a shaky smile, and then jokes feebly, “I don’t think you should be talking though, ne. You cried when you debuted too, remember.”
Takki doesn’t say what he and Yamapi are probably both thinking - that it’s not the same, that Takki didn’t cry because he didn’t want to be there, but because he had wanted it so much he couldn’t believe it was happening. Instead, Takki laughs, and shrugs. “You caught me, Pi. I’m a hypocrite.”
T: Yamapi’s so annoying, ne? He wouldn’t stop calling me when he debuted, always asking me questions. (laughs) Just kidding. I didn’t mind.
“Senpai,” Yamapi whines over the phone, and Takki can hear the frown in his voice. “Senpai, what do I do?”
“Hi Yamapi,” Takki says cheerfully. “What’s wrong?”
“Everything,” Yamapi explodes. “Ryo-chan and Uchi-kun don’t want to talk anyone else, and Moriuchi-kun hates it and wants to leave and Koyama-kun is too nice and it makes me feel bad and Tegoshi-kun keeps apologizing for everything and Massu-kun - Massu-kun eats too much and Kato-kun is like, I don’t know, scared of Ryo-chan or something and. And, okay, that’s it, but. No one told me being leader would be this hard,” Yamapi finishes, voice pitching higher and higher in a whine.
“Calm down,” Takki says, laughing. “How long have you been a group? Like, two days?” He ignores Yamapi’s cry of “Twenty!” and plows on - “Obviously you’re going to have problems. Did you expect to be best friends just because you’re in the same group or something?”
Yamapi falters. “Well, no,” he says. “But! But 4TOPS was never like this,” he mutters under his breath, and Takki thinks they’ve hit the root of the problem.
“Yeah,” Takki says gently, “but 4TOPS had years together. Give yourselves some time, Pi-chan. Don’t be so impatient. You’re the leader now, you’ve got to learn how to work to everyone’s strengths.”
There’s silence for a minute, and then Yamapi grumbles, “I could’ve told you that.”
“Yeah, well,” Takki sniffs. “Take your own damn advice then.”
(A few years later, when Uchi and Kusano are suspended, Yamapi calls again, but this time he’s genuinely upset.
“I’m so fucking stupid,” Yamapi says dully.
Takki hesitates, because what can he say in a situation like this? “Pi. Yamapi. Don’t be like this. No you’re not. It’s not your fault.”
Yamapi lets out a harsh laugh, and almost sobs out, “Then, what? It’s theirs? Fuck. I don’t know. Since when was it a fucking crime to act your age?”
Takki doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t know what to say. Yamapi curses, and sniffs loudly. “I hate this fucking business,” he says quietly. “I hate it. I hate it for being my life, hate it for taking away my options, my future. Hate it for taking me away from people I care about.”
“I’m sorry,” Takki finally breathes out. “I’m sorry I don’t have anything to say that will help. I’m sorry I can’t tell you that’s not true.”
Yamapi laughs, and it’s a little sad, a little bitter, a little heartbreaking to hear something so cynical in someone so young. “It’s okay. Thanks anyways, senpai. Sorry, ne.”)
T: It was like, one day Yamapi was my cute eleven year old kouhai…and the next, he was twenty and not so cute anymore. (laughs) Kids these days.
Y: Ahh, Takki-senpai is so embarrassing, ne? (laughs)
“No time for your favorite senpai anymore?” Takki asks, pouting, when Yamapi runs in to ask a question about Takki and Tsubasa’s Shounen Club performance schedule and do you think you could ask Koyama when you see him what he’s going to do with all the costumes in our room? and then runs out.
Yamapi sticks his head back in, rolling his eyes. “Who said you’re my favorite senpai,” Yamapi asks, nose wrinkling. “Too busy being a good leader, sorry, I’ve got responsibilities now you know, see you later, okay! Bye, favorite senpai!” He wiggles his fingers at Takki, and takes off at a sprint in the direction of the NEWS’ dressing room.
“You owe me lunch!” Takki yells at the door, even though he knows it’s already too late and Yamapi’s already gone off doing his important Band Leader Duties.
Yamapi surprises him the next day by bringing him lunch in the middle of Shounen Club taping, kicking Koyama in the shin when he comes over to steal something.
“For Takki-senpai,” he says, stealing the plastic container back. “Get your own lunch, you tool!”
“Ouch,” Koyama cries, clutching at his heart. “Ouch, leader-sama, is this how you treat your hardworking bandmates? By denying them proper nourishment?” He staggers theatrically, and Yamapi giggles, before smacking him.
“Fine,” Yamapi relents, and chucks a rice ball at Koyama. “Eat that, and get back to your job, slacker. The kids are gathering and I don’t have enough for fifty-odd twelve year olds.” He scrunches up his nose mock-threateningly at Hikaru, who laughs nervously and scuttles away to Yabu’s side.
“Thanks,” Takki says gratefully, shoveling rice in his mouth. “I haven’t eaten since breakfast, actually.”
“Yeah, I know,” Yamapi replies, smiling. “Tsubasa-senpai told me when I was looking for you.”
“Ahh,” Takki hums, making a mental note to give Tsubasa a really big hug later. “Being responsible, aren’t we?” He means the words to be lighthearted and joking, but it comes out almost melancholy - Takki’s never been good with change.
Yamapi grins, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Just repaying the debt,” he sing-songs, stealing some of Takki’s food.
Y: When Takki-senpai first asked me, my first instinct was to say ‘no.’ (laughs) Just kidding. I’m happy that we’ll be able to do this together.
T: What! That’s not funny! I’m going to take you out of the track listing.
Y: Just kidding, senpai! I’m honored to work with you, ne. I’m very excited about the end result myself, so everyone, look out for it!