[fic] Devil's Finishing Touches
Title: Devil's Finishing Touches
Pairing: Jaechun (holy shit, I don't even know), obvious past Yoomin, hinted past Jaeho.
Rating: PG-13 for language and hinted sexual themes
A/N: I'm not even sure. I can't. I don't know. I cried. Butterfly Effect by Epik High came on shuffle and this is what happened.
For even more broken boys, please see akagasuki's piece upside-down; at akai_kotoba
Jaejoong's hands are soft against his skin, fingertips brushing against parts of him that he doesn't like to be touched. Changmin's hands were coarser, un-manicured, but they knew the spots, the good ones.
Jaejoong's lips are soft like his hands, leaving a trail of kisses down Yoochun's neck and chest. His hair feels perfect (why is he so perfect?) in between Yoochun's fingers as it takes all of his willpower to cry out Jaejoong's name instead of another.
I should be happy, Yoochun thinks to himself daily as he wakes up early in the morning. The changes happening to him are good (or so he is told to believe).
The songs locked away in small composition books are full of sappy, heartbroken love songs. The songs he starts to sell are happy. People wonder what (or who) has finally came into his life that has caused such a great change.
Yoochun realizes that he has become a fantastic liar.
(This is what you wanted all along, isn't it, hyung?
No. I don't. I don't know, Changmin. I don't know.)
Feigning happiness gets easier by the day. Hollow laughter slowly turns into something more genuine. It's easy for Yoochun to believe his own lies. After all, if you can convince your lover that everything is fine, convincing yourself is the next step.
Yoochun finds himself slowly becoming more affectionate. Sudden hand holding, playful gropes that turn into heated sessions where they often don't make it to the bed. I should be happy, Yoochun reminds himself again, smiling warmly as he brushes away the hair from Jaejoong's sleeping face. The mornings often mimic the night before, only their clothes are already shed and the mattress is far more comfortable than the floor.
Regret. Something Yoochun wishes he never felt as he scribbles down yet another song full of the same pain, the same words, the same fucking regret. Jaejoong sits on the floor next to the piano as Yoochun attempts to work out the melodies. He can't help but wonder if Jaejoong is doing the same thing; finding momentary comfort in the arms of someone simply because he's there.
(Are you even happy?
Are you?)
There comes a day when Yoochun wakes up and feels happy. The composition notebooks are torn up and thrown away (as they were only a constant reminder of the past; something, someone he no longer was). His cigarettes and wine are replaced with jogging and disgusting drinks that Junsu swears by. Moments with Changmin lack the awkward silences and he finds himself treating Yunho like his best friend again. He just wants them to be happy, because he is.
He's still lying.
Pairing: Jaechun (holy shit, I don't even know), obvious past Yoomin, hinted past Jaeho.
Rating: PG-13 for language and hinted sexual themes
A/N: I'm not even sure. I can't. I don't know. I cried. Butterfly Effect by Epik High came on shuffle and this is what happened.
For even more broken boys, please see akagasuki's piece upside-down; at akai_kotoba
Jaejoong's hands are soft against his skin, fingertips brushing against parts of him that he doesn't like to be touched. Changmin's hands were coarser, un-manicured, but they knew the spots, the good ones.
Jaejoong's lips are soft like his hands, leaving a trail of kisses down Yoochun's neck and chest. His hair feels perfect (why is he so perfect?) in between Yoochun's fingers as it takes all of his willpower to cry out Jaejoong's name instead of another.
I should be happy, Yoochun thinks to himself daily as he wakes up early in the morning. The changes happening to him are good (or so he is told to believe).
The songs locked away in small composition books are full of sappy, heartbroken love songs. The songs he starts to sell are happy. People wonder what (or who) has finally came into his life that has caused such a great change.
Yoochun realizes that he has become a fantastic liar.
(This is what you wanted all along, isn't it, hyung?
No. I don't. I don't know, Changmin. I don't know.)
Feigning happiness gets easier by the day. Hollow laughter slowly turns into something more genuine. It's easy for Yoochun to believe his own lies. After all, if you can convince your lover that everything is fine, convincing yourself is the next step.
Yoochun finds himself slowly becoming more affectionate. Sudden hand holding, playful gropes that turn into heated sessions where they often don't make it to the bed. I should be happy, Yoochun reminds himself again, smiling warmly as he brushes away the hair from Jaejoong's sleeping face. The mornings often mimic the night before, only their clothes are already shed and the mattress is far more comfortable than the floor.
Regret. Something Yoochun wishes he never felt as he scribbles down yet another song full of the same pain, the same words, the same fucking regret. Jaejoong sits on the floor next to the piano as Yoochun attempts to work out the melodies. He can't help but wonder if Jaejoong is doing the same thing; finding momentary comfort in the arms of someone simply because he's there.
(Are you even happy?
Are you?)
There comes a day when Yoochun wakes up and feels happy. The composition notebooks are torn up and thrown away (as they were only a constant reminder of the past; something, someone he no longer was). His cigarettes and wine are replaced with jogging and disgusting drinks that Junsu swears by. Moments with Changmin lack the awkward silences and he finds himself treating Yunho like his best friend again. He just wants them to be happy, because he is.
He's still lying.