I'm a Cowboy Stevie Wonder
i guess i start off my memories for that which accounts for most of my remaining memories
kittie, of course. a good 8 months of memories. worthless, pointless, empty memories that all account for nothing more than wasted time. the whole situation leading up to me dating her really fucked with my head, so during the relationship i wasn't that good of a person to her - not as much as i could have been anyway. if you read her journal, she rarely has a good thing to say about me, and all her friends have plenty of bad things to say about me. but now her memories are exclusively of the bad things, none of the good times, or of all the times that we had fun (sexually and not), which outnumbered the bad times by quite a lot. there are times i wish i could go back, but its really over now. she doesn't like who i am anymore, i guess.
in the end, all those hundreds of times we told each other forever and always turned out to be less than a month.
thanks.
this is katie
katie involves a memory detailing the worst decision that i've ever made in my life.
that decision, of course, being to continue dating kittie because she had a "breakdown". ironic, of course, because when she went out with nikki i had a break down... and kittie told me that i was jealous because she was having good sex. and she says i'm the one who used her for sex? hah. anyway... moving on
that week
i was still in a frame of mind where i wasn't thinking correctly, and i was justifying doing things i really shouldn't have been doing. going to fast. thats besides the point, i could have gotten better, and its not like katie really minded. looking back, i fucked her life up as much as i did my own. and now, with my mind cleared of all the shit i was under then, i care more about that than my own. she was too impressionable to date a fuckbag like eric, but she did. and now sometimes listening to her talk is like listening to eric talk, although its getting better... slowly. because no matter how bloody fun fuckbags make it out to be bad, the joy someone can get from being good is so far beyond anything being bad can get you.
i'm thinking (hoping, praying) that its almost over.
this is annie
she's an australian
i've probably never hurt anyone as much as i've hurt annie, and i would do anything in my power to give her a better life than she has. i don't want to say too much about her because i don't think she'd want me to.
i <3 her ;p
she roxxorz
this is an effigy of my soul, being burned alive
and heres some other people i have pictures of but am currently too lazy to write about
the end