Sigh.
So, in this instance, "It's been a while," sums up about a year (or more, depending on where you're reading this) of bizarre, sad, sometimes beautiful and downright surreal moments that are well on their way to passing into distant memory.
I have seen so much more than I could have expected, and felt much more than I sometimes think I deserve.
Today I fight to remember who I'm supposed to be.
Every day I fight to remember. Something.
There's this terrible loss, and emptiness, and potential, and fear, and love. And worst of all a nameless, shadowed recognition lurking beneath my feet; each step is heavier, though my very substance seems fleeting even at the best of times.
I want to dive into the deepest, greenest, coldest bits of the how and why. I want to breathe the breath of youth and purpose.
I am full of wantings.
I remember what I had, was, knew, and feel the loss.
Was I stronger? Was I wiser? Was I more, or less than this?
Today's relevant soundtrack:
1. Matt Nathanson - Come On Get Higher
2. Joshua Radin - I'd Rather Be With You
3. Xavier Rudd - Better People
4. Noah and the Whale - 5 Years Time
5. Donavon Frankenreiter - Come With Me
6. Creedence Clearwater Revival - Long As I Can See The Light
7. Van Morrison - Into The Mystic
8. Allison Kraus, et al - Down To The River To Pray
9. Cara Dillon - The Parting Glass
10. Ockham's Razor - Hi Ri Him Bo
I have seen so much more than I could have expected, and felt much more than I sometimes think I deserve.
Today I fight to remember who I'm supposed to be.
Every day I fight to remember. Something.
There's this terrible loss, and emptiness, and potential, and fear, and love. And worst of all a nameless, shadowed recognition lurking beneath my feet; each step is heavier, though my very substance seems fleeting even at the best of times.
I want to dive into the deepest, greenest, coldest bits of the how and why. I want to breathe the breath of youth and purpose.
I am full of wantings.
I remember what I had, was, knew, and feel the loss.
Was I stronger? Was I wiser? Was I more, or less than this?
Today's relevant soundtrack:
1. Matt Nathanson - Come On Get Higher
2. Joshua Radin - I'd Rather Be With You
3. Xavier Rudd - Better People
4. Noah and the Whale - 5 Years Time
5. Donavon Frankenreiter - Come With Me
6. Creedence Clearwater Revival - Long As I Can See The Light
7. Van Morrison - Into The Mystic
8. Allison Kraus, et al - Down To The River To Pray
9. Cara Dillon - The Parting Glass
10. Ockham's Razor - Hi Ri Him Bo