Fic - Understanding
Title: Understanding
Author: prehistoriccat
Rating: 15
Characters/Pairings: Abby, Danny (with mentions of past Abby/Danny and current Abby/Connor)
Genre: Angst, friendship, hurt/comfort
Disclaimer: Not mine, no copyright intended
Warning: spoilers for ep 4x07
This is a "missing scene" from episode 7, the revelations that Danny now faces are almost too much
Danny sat with his head in his hands. It was beyond almost all comprehension - how could Patrick have done all those things? Murdering people? That wasn't the brother he'd lost 18 years ago; the one he'd devoted practically every waking hour of his life trying to find ever since.
This new ARC seemed strange, he didn't belong here any more than he belonged in the Pliocene era, except perhaps he was safer here. It had been somewhat reassuring that his old friends were there on the other side of the anomaly; almost as if they'd been waiting just for him. It was like time had stood still.... but he knew it hadn't.
For a start, there was that new guy - Matt? And that stun gun? Danny couldn't help wondering if Becker had agreed to the use of the new gun or was just going along with it for the sake of keeping his job. He supposed he should be grateful that they were only stun guns and not the real thing -otherwise he'd be a dead man now. Then there was Connor and Abby. When he'd left them behind in the Cretaceous they were no more than kids really, despite the tough front they both put on. But now... he'd only been in their company a matter of minutes and he could see already how they'd changed; both as individuals and as a couple. How long had it been before they made it back? What had they been through to get home? When did they finally admit they were in love with each other?
Connor seemed more confident and self assured, not just hanging behind Abby and living on morsels thrown at him from those he wanted to impress. Judging by the response he got when he asked if Connor and Abby were together, Connor had become a man in every sense of the word. Abby seemed different too. She'd always seemed older beyond her years in some ways; and he knew the reasons why; but she had an air about her now of femininity and sophistication whilst remaining strong and independent. Obviously, finally allowing Connor into her head and heart had been a good thing and something she should have done long before now.
“Penny for them?” Abby's voice said, interrupting his thoughts. She sat next to him.
“It's been a weird day.” Danny replied. “When I woke up this morning; the last place I expected to be was home... amongst my old friends and... finding Patrick.” he swallowed down his tears.
“Yeah. I know what you mean.” Abby squeezed his hand. “I'd pretty much given up on getting home, although Connor stayed optimistic. When he found Helen's device....” she blinked back her own tears, and for a few moments the pair sat in silence; lost in their own thoughts.
“It's too much to take in.” Danny said, eventually. “He was 14 years old, Abby. I should've been looking after him. If I hadn't been more interested in...”
“Stop it, Danny!” Abby said. “Didn't we go through all this before? 14 year old brothers are not easy to contain as we both know!”
Danny buried his face in his hands again. He remembered that conversation too well, and how it had ended. “Your brother isn't being accused of murder though, is he?” he finally said.
“No, but there's stuff he does that I'm not proud of. None of it is my fault though; I gave up feeling responsible for him, and you need to do the same for Patrick. The man he's become is nothing to do with anything you did or didn't do.”
Danny sighed. He knew Abby was right, just like he'd been right that night over a year ago. It had begun pretty much like it was now; except Abby was the one angry and frustrated at her brother's behaviour....
….She was a mess. It had been a rollercoaster of a day for her; and he knew exactly how she'd felt. He'd seen the same fire in her that he had had when Patrick first disappeared and just knew he had to help her find Jack - even if the outcome was that it was his dead body they found. She should have closure and not have to live with the pain of not knowing like he had. Thankfully, it didn't come to that and Jack had been found safe and relatively OK. He could quite cheerfully have smacked the kid into next week when he started with his attitude - and if he wasn't Abby's brother he would have done, and Becker would have joined in quite happily.
Danny had caught half a conversation between Abby and Jack, and it seemed the kid had finally got some sense and realised he needed to leave. He sensed a degree of relief in Abby, but he also knew she would be hurting - she'd said he was the only family she had and letting him go wouldn't be easy; even if his behaviour had been appalling. Danny decided he'd make a point of chatting to her tomorrow to make sure she was OK - and then as he was clearing the team from the anomaly site, he saw her kissing Connor. Quite where that had come from he didn't know, but it was not a complete surprise. Abby and Connor were always going to end up together at some point, it was just a question of 'when' not 'if'
So, it was with a degree of shock that he'd found her sobbing in the locker room at the ARC later after everyone had gone home. “Abby?” he said.
She looked embarrassed, and angrily wiped the tears from her face. “Sorry.” she said. “Bad day.”
“Why are you apologising? It has been a bad day, and you're allowed to feel a bit emotional. It doesn't make you weak.” He sat on the bench beside her. He couldn't understand why she was alone though; shouldn't she be home - with Connor?
“Couldn't face going back to the flat.” she said, almost as if she'd read his mind. “I'm so angry at Jack right now, and angry with myself for not seeing what an idiot he is! It's probably best I wait for him to pack his things and be gone before I head home.”
“You could've gone with Connor? Isn't he staying at Lester's place?”
Abby sniffed. “I messed up there. He's probably wondering what the hell I'm playing at.”
Danny resisted the urge to say “He's not the only one.” and responded with “What happened?” instead.
“I walked away. I can't give him what he wants. I'm too broken.” She blinked back the tears stinging her eyes.
Danny winced and felt sick to his stomach. That was a phrase he knew too well; he'd used it himself as an excuse for not getting into a relationship. He did consider himself 'broken' after Patrick went; his family had made sure he knew they blamed him and after a while he believed it too. He had an idea why Abby felt she was broken; she was a classic case and he'd come across many girls like her whilst he was in the police force. Crying alone in the locker room was not going to solve her problems; he had to get her out. “Abby, look. My place isn't anything special, and I don't remember the last time I got the vacuum cleaner out, but if you don't want to go back to yours on your own tonight... there's cold beers in my fridge, a pizza in the freezer I can heat up in 15 minutes and room on my sofa for the night if you want.”
Something seemed to click that night; maybe it was just the fact that he found Abby so easy to talk to, or the fact she just seemed to understand him. He opened up more to her in those few hours than he had done to anyone else his entire life; and then she poured everything out to him. Different experiences, but a shared belief that they weren't good enough and had failed to properly protect their younger brothers when they needed them the most. The tears of pain and shouts of anger turned to sighs of pleasure and cries of need as they found a way to put a sticking plaster on their wounds; a temporary fix for what was broken.
In the morning, things seemed so much clearer. Danny had a new determination and energy - he would find Patrick one day and he'd show his family that he was worth something after all. Abby had decided that she should at least talk to Connor; tell him some of the things she'd told Danny and perhaps he'd understand why she had shut him out for so long. She at least owed him that....
...Danny blinked. His mind had wandered too far away from the present. Dwelling on the past didn't help. “You're right, Abby. Patrick's been away for 18 years, and he's obviously been in a dark place.” He gave Abby's hand a squeeze.
Abby stood up and kissed his cheek. “It'll all work out. He's your brother, your flesh and blood. There has to be some good inside him still, and with the right help...” she sighed. “We're here for you. Don't forget that.” She turned to walk away.
“Abby? Can I ask you something?” Danny said.
“Of course?”
“Are you happy? Does Connor make you happy?”
Abby blushed. “Yes. He does.”
“Good. You deserve it.” He took a deep breath, there was something else he needed to know. “Do you still think you're broken?” Danny stared down at his feet.
“I'm mending, piece by piece. Connor's a good man; patient, understanding.” She blushed even redder. “I used to think that the demons of my past would scare away anyone half decent, but after we... after that night … I realised that anyone that is decent would stay no matter what.”
Danny couldn't hold it back any longer. He'd been fighting back his emotions the entire time he'd been stranded; fearing that if he gave in to them it would be his downfall. His whole body shook as he let out months of suppressed tears and frustration.
Abby's arms were around him in seconds and he sank into her. He drank in her scent, her warmth and for a moment in his head he was back on the sofa in his flat. The same need was there, but he had to fight it this time. She had just said that she was happy with Connor and that he was helping her to mend. He couldn't undo all of that; not for his own selfish gain.
“It's OK.” Abby whispered, squeezing him tighter against her. “You don't have to go through this alone. You're home now, amongst friends.” She remained holding him for some time; gently rocking, stroking his back and just allowing him to seek the warmth and comfort he needed. If it took hours, she would stay with him. At one point, Connor poked his head around the door to see if Abby wanted a coffee. Abby just glanced up at him, and he understood. There were no secrets between Abby and Connor, and he knew that Danny was the reason they were now together. He backed out of the room silently; only Abby could begin to understand what Danny was going through right now.
When no more tears could be shed, Danny loosened his grip and Abby took that as her signal to break the connection. She pulled a handful of tissues from her jacket pocket and gave them to him. Danny smiled gratefully, sniffed and blew his nose.
“Feel better?” Abby said, smiling. Danny leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. “I'll take that as a yes, then?”
“I should go and help them look for Patrick. It's me he's angry with.” He looked at Abby. “Thank you. Your friendship means more than you'll ever know.”
“I think I have an idea.” Abby said, standing up. She stroked his shoulder then moved towards the door. “Good luck, Danny.”
Danny acknowledged her with a nod and watched her leave. He stared at the empty space for a moment, then gathered his thoughts. He had to start putting Patrick back together again before he could put his own life back together. It was going to be a long, and painful process.
Author: prehistoriccat
Rating: 15
Characters/Pairings: Abby, Danny (with mentions of past Abby/Danny and current Abby/Connor)
Genre: Angst, friendship, hurt/comfort
Disclaimer: Not mine, no copyright intended
Warning: spoilers for ep 4x07
This is a "missing scene" from episode 7, the revelations that Danny now faces are almost too much
Danny sat with his head in his hands. It was beyond almost all comprehension - how could Patrick have done all those things? Murdering people? That wasn't the brother he'd lost 18 years ago; the one he'd devoted practically every waking hour of his life trying to find ever since.
This new ARC seemed strange, he didn't belong here any more than he belonged in the Pliocene era, except perhaps he was safer here. It had been somewhat reassuring that his old friends were there on the other side of the anomaly; almost as if they'd been waiting just for him. It was like time had stood still.... but he knew it hadn't.
For a start, there was that new guy - Matt? And that stun gun? Danny couldn't help wondering if Becker had agreed to the use of the new gun or was just going along with it for the sake of keeping his job. He supposed he should be grateful that they were only stun guns and not the real thing -otherwise he'd be a dead man now. Then there was Connor and Abby. When he'd left them behind in the Cretaceous they were no more than kids really, despite the tough front they both put on. But now... he'd only been in their company a matter of minutes and he could see already how they'd changed; both as individuals and as a couple. How long had it been before they made it back? What had they been through to get home? When did they finally admit they were in love with each other?
Connor seemed more confident and self assured, not just hanging behind Abby and living on morsels thrown at him from those he wanted to impress. Judging by the response he got when he asked if Connor and Abby were together, Connor had become a man in every sense of the word. Abby seemed different too. She'd always seemed older beyond her years in some ways; and he knew the reasons why; but she had an air about her now of femininity and sophistication whilst remaining strong and independent. Obviously, finally allowing Connor into her head and heart had been a good thing and something she should have done long before now.
“Penny for them?” Abby's voice said, interrupting his thoughts. She sat next to him.
“It's been a weird day.” Danny replied. “When I woke up this morning; the last place I expected to be was home... amongst my old friends and... finding Patrick.” he swallowed down his tears.
“Yeah. I know what you mean.” Abby squeezed his hand. “I'd pretty much given up on getting home, although Connor stayed optimistic. When he found Helen's device....” she blinked back her own tears, and for a few moments the pair sat in silence; lost in their own thoughts.
“It's too much to take in.” Danny said, eventually. “He was 14 years old, Abby. I should've been looking after him. If I hadn't been more interested in...”
“Stop it, Danny!” Abby said. “Didn't we go through all this before? 14 year old brothers are not easy to contain as we both know!”
Danny buried his face in his hands again. He remembered that conversation too well, and how it had ended. “Your brother isn't being accused of murder though, is he?” he finally said.
“No, but there's stuff he does that I'm not proud of. None of it is my fault though; I gave up feeling responsible for him, and you need to do the same for Patrick. The man he's become is nothing to do with anything you did or didn't do.”
Danny sighed. He knew Abby was right, just like he'd been right that night over a year ago. It had begun pretty much like it was now; except Abby was the one angry and frustrated at her brother's behaviour....
….She was a mess. It had been a rollercoaster of a day for her; and he knew exactly how she'd felt. He'd seen the same fire in her that he had had when Patrick first disappeared and just knew he had to help her find Jack - even if the outcome was that it was his dead body they found. She should have closure and not have to live with the pain of not knowing like he had. Thankfully, it didn't come to that and Jack had been found safe and relatively OK. He could quite cheerfully have smacked the kid into next week when he started with his attitude - and if he wasn't Abby's brother he would have done, and Becker would have joined in quite happily.
Danny had caught half a conversation between Abby and Jack, and it seemed the kid had finally got some sense and realised he needed to leave. He sensed a degree of relief in Abby, but he also knew she would be hurting - she'd said he was the only family she had and letting him go wouldn't be easy; even if his behaviour had been appalling. Danny decided he'd make a point of chatting to her tomorrow to make sure she was OK - and then as he was clearing the team from the anomaly site, he saw her kissing Connor. Quite where that had come from he didn't know, but it was not a complete surprise. Abby and Connor were always going to end up together at some point, it was just a question of 'when' not 'if'
So, it was with a degree of shock that he'd found her sobbing in the locker room at the ARC later after everyone had gone home. “Abby?” he said.
She looked embarrassed, and angrily wiped the tears from her face. “Sorry.” she said. “Bad day.”
“Why are you apologising? It has been a bad day, and you're allowed to feel a bit emotional. It doesn't make you weak.” He sat on the bench beside her. He couldn't understand why she was alone though; shouldn't she be home - with Connor?
“Couldn't face going back to the flat.” she said, almost as if she'd read his mind. “I'm so angry at Jack right now, and angry with myself for not seeing what an idiot he is! It's probably best I wait for him to pack his things and be gone before I head home.”
“You could've gone with Connor? Isn't he staying at Lester's place?”
Abby sniffed. “I messed up there. He's probably wondering what the hell I'm playing at.”
Danny resisted the urge to say “He's not the only one.” and responded with “What happened?” instead.
“I walked away. I can't give him what he wants. I'm too broken.” She blinked back the tears stinging her eyes.
Danny winced and felt sick to his stomach. That was a phrase he knew too well; he'd used it himself as an excuse for not getting into a relationship. He did consider himself 'broken' after Patrick went; his family had made sure he knew they blamed him and after a while he believed it too. He had an idea why Abby felt she was broken; she was a classic case and he'd come across many girls like her whilst he was in the police force. Crying alone in the locker room was not going to solve her problems; he had to get her out. “Abby, look. My place isn't anything special, and I don't remember the last time I got the vacuum cleaner out, but if you don't want to go back to yours on your own tonight... there's cold beers in my fridge, a pizza in the freezer I can heat up in 15 minutes and room on my sofa for the night if you want.”
Something seemed to click that night; maybe it was just the fact that he found Abby so easy to talk to, or the fact she just seemed to understand him. He opened up more to her in those few hours than he had done to anyone else his entire life; and then she poured everything out to him. Different experiences, but a shared belief that they weren't good enough and had failed to properly protect their younger brothers when they needed them the most. The tears of pain and shouts of anger turned to sighs of pleasure and cries of need as they found a way to put a sticking plaster on their wounds; a temporary fix for what was broken.
In the morning, things seemed so much clearer. Danny had a new determination and energy - he would find Patrick one day and he'd show his family that he was worth something after all. Abby had decided that she should at least talk to Connor; tell him some of the things she'd told Danny and perhaps he'd understand why she had shut him out for so long. She at least owed him that....
...Danny blinked. His mind had wandered too far away from the present. Dwelling on the past didn't help. “You're right, Abby. Patrick's been away for 18 years, and he's obviously been in a dark place.” He gave Abby's hand a squeeze.
Abby stood up and kissed his cheek. “It'll all work out. He's your brother, your flesh and blood. There has to be some good inside him still, and with the right help...” she sighed. “We're here for you. Don't forget that.” She turned to walk away.
“Abby? Can I ask you something?” Danny said.
“Of course?”
“Are you happy? Does Connor make you happy?”
Abby blushed. “Yes. He does.”
“Good. You deserve it.” He took a deep breath, there was something else he needed to know. “Do you still think you're broken?” Danny stared down at his feet.
“I'm mending, piece by piece. Connor's a good man; patient, understanding.” She blushed even redder. “I used to think that the demons of my past would scare away anyone half decent, but after we... after that night … I realised that anyone that is decent would stay no matter what.”
Danny couldn't hold it back any longer. He'd been fighting back his emotions the entire time he'd been stranded; fearing that if he gave in to them it would be his downfall. His whole body shook as he let out months of suppressed tears and frustration.
Abby's arms were around him in seconds and he sank into her. He drank in her scent, her warmth and for a moment in his head he was back on the sofa in his flat. The same need was there, but he had to fight it this time. She had just said that she was happy with Connor and that he was helping her to mend. He couldn't undo all of that; not for his own selfish gain.
“It's OK.” Abby whispered, squeezing him tighter against her. “You don't have to go through this alone. You're home now, amongst friends.” She remained holding him for some time; gently rocking, stroking his back and just allowing him to seek the warmth and comfort he needed. If it took hours, she would stay with him. At one point, Connor poked his head around the door to see if Abby wanted a coffee. Abby just glanced up at him, and he understood. There were no secrets between Abby and Connor, and he knew that Danny was the reason they were now together. He backed out of the room silently; only Abby could begin to understand what Danny was going through right now.
When no more tears could be shed, Danny loosened his grip and Abby took that as her signal to break the connection. She pulled a handful of tissues from her jacket pocket and gave them to him. Danny smiled gratefully, sniffed and blew his nose.
“Feel better?” Abby said, smiling. Danny leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. “I'll take that as a yes, then?”
“I should go and help them look for Patrick. It's me he's angry with.” He looked at Abby. “Thank you. Your friendship means more than you'll ever know.”
“I think I have an idea.” Abby said, standing up. She stroked his shoulder then moved towards the door. “Good luck, Danny.”
Danny acknowledged her with a nod and watched her leave. He stared at the empty space for a moment, then gathered his thoughts. He had to start putting Patrick back together again before he could put his own life back together. It was going to be a long, and painful process.