The big change.
I want to explain to you how much I love LOVE.
I think that love: can get you through anything, encourages you at your best and at your worst, fights for you when you stray away, works through disagreements, understands you in any phase of life you may be going through, respects you, believes and trusts you will do things that you say you will do, motivates you when you are down, shows affection shows affection shows affection, takes care of you and puts you first (within reason), will stand up for your honor, will tell you you're beautiful several times a day, everday. Will tell you over and over again, that he loves you, day after day - no matter what crap you are feeling, looking like, telling him.
If you're in love with someone and you love them - you will not hesitate to do any of these things. I have fought for Ramzi our entire relationship. I'm the one that steps up and tries to work things out, but it has gotten so exhausting. I love him to death, but when he told me that he can't change and that he didn't want to try... I had to put an end to our relationship. I can't be with a guy who pretends like I don't exist. Whose only complaints are that he wants to go out and drink with his friends, and that he wants to go to practice without me getting upset.
Why do I get upset? Why do I get angry when he chooses practice and booze over a night of romance with me? Because those are things that he doesn't think about. Usually, a guy will try to make up with his girlfriend if they are arguing, but what does he do? Nothin. Tell her what she wants to hear and move on with the relationship. As if I'm his mom, telling him to vacuum and ignore her so that he doesn't have to do it right away. TRUE STORY, btw. Even when I spent nights at "his" house over the weekend, his mom would knock on his door at 10am on a Saturday and tell him to help his dad with the yard work. Yeah, he's 27, not 14.
I just realized that I was dating a child and not a man. He struggles so much in life, because he's not a grown up - and he doesn't want to be. Even now, I'm trying to mend things, I'm still giving him a chance!!!! How stupid of me! Asking him if he wants to get together and talk, he just says, "not yet".
OHHH, that must mean he's trying to get his life into gear and figure out what he's doing with his life!! No... he's at bars 2-3 times a week, getting drunk. He's not even trying to get me back. Or working on himself. He's just taking it easy, living at home with his mom and having a "good time" drinking with his friends. It's just so sad... how he's meant to be one of those people. They are all so lonely and just go out to drink because it’s the cool “hipster” thing to do and because being drunk and distracted is the only way they can deal with themselves. When you step away from that and really see them, they are sad and pitiful and its awful to see people you care for like this.
I cant change him because he doesn’t want to...something in his own self is incomplete and it is not my responsibility to stick and around and wait for him to fix that. I can not be unhappy anymore! end of story.
So, on with my life. I might be moving out of Texas again soon. There are several amazing design jobs available, but they are not here. I'm meant to have a more meaningful life...I always told Ramzi that I don't want a normal life. It should be full of things I have passion for.
I think that love: can get you through anything, encourages you at your best and at your worst, fights for you when you stray away, works through disagreements, understands you in any phase of life you may be going through, respects you, believes and trusts you will do things that you say you will do, motivates you when you are down, shows affection shows affection shows affection, takes care of you and puts you first (within reason), will stand up for your honor, will tell you you're beautiful several times a day, everday. Will tell you over and over again, that he loves you, day after day - no matter what crap you are feeling, looking like, telling him.
If you're in love with someone and you love them - you will not hesitate to do any of these things. I have fought for Ramzi our entire relationship. I'm the one that steps up and tries to work things out, but it has gotten so exhausting. I love him to death, but when he told me that he can't change and that he didn't want to try... I had to put an end to our relationship. I can't be with a guy who pretends like I don't exist. Whose only complaints are that he wants to go out and drink with his friends, and that he wants to go to practice without me getting upset.
Why do I get upset? Why do I get angry when he chooses practice and booze over a night of romance with me? Because those are things that he doesn't think about. Usually, a guy will try to make up with his girlfriend if they are arguing, but what does he do? Nothin. Tell her what she wants to hear and move on with the relationship. As if I'm his mom, telling him to vacuum and ignore her so that he doesn't have to do it right away. TRUE STORY, btw. Even when I spent nights at "his" house over the weekend, his mom would knock on his door at 10am on a Saturday and tell him to help his dad with the yard work. Yeah, he's 27, not 14.
I just realized that I was dating a child and not a man. He struggles so much in life, because he's not a grown up - and he doesn't want to be. Even now, I'm trying to mend things, I'm still giving him a chance!!!! How stupid of me! Asking him if he wants to get together and talk, he just says, "not yet".
OHHH, that must mean he's trying to get his life into gear and figure out what he's doing with his life!! No... he's at bars 2-3 times a week, getting drunk. He's not even trying to get me back. Or working on himself. He's just taking it easy, living at home with his mom and having a "good time" drinking with his friends. It's just so sad... how he's meant to be one of those people. They are all so lonely and just go out to drink because it’s the cool “hipster” thing to do and because being drunk and distracted is the only way they can deal with themselves. When you step away from that and really see them, they are sad and pitiful and its awful to see people you care for like this.
I cant change him because he doesn’t want to...something in his own self is incomplete and it is not my responsibility to stick and around and wait for him to fix that. I can not be unhappy anymore! end of story.
So, on with my life. I might be moving out of Texas again soon. There are several amazing design jobs available, but they are not here. I'm meant to have a more meaningful life...I always told Ramzi that I don't want a normal life. It should be full of things I have passion for.