My first son's birth was crazy traumatic. I had to be knocked out for my c-section when the epidural didn't work and I bled excessively and didn't get to meet my son until he was 3 days old because I spent that time in ICU totally out of it.
I induced with him and have always blamed the induction for what happened. I've always wondered what would have happened if I hadn't "caved" and chosen induction. He was malpositioned in the birth canal and I truly believed that was why he wouldn't come out (which was due to breaking my water when he was still really high up).
My second son, born last week, had the exact same stats as my first son. They were the same size and honestly even look like clones. I did everything "right." I found a doula, took hypnobirthing, switched providers to a VBAC supportive one, discussed my options every single appointment, never took a single intervention (not even a cervical check). I went into labor naturally and pushed for four hours. He was perfectly positioned and I still could not push him out.
As it would turn out, I have a narrow pelvic arch. No baby was coming out of there. And since DS2 couldn't come out, DS1 (same stats, head size, weight) wouldn't have fit either, even if he was properly positioned. Which, in a weird way, was really healing. Now I know that his birth wasn't my fault.
(And the second c-section was so much better, even though it took longer because they removed a bunch of scar tissue from my uterus and bladder. Recovery has been amazing, my milk came in sooner, my baby was already above his birth weight at 5 days old).
i found my second c section easier as well. One of my nurses this last time had 8 kids, 6 by c section. She said each one was easier. By the time she got to her last she actually went home a day after the surgery (not that she recommended it - with 7 other kids though she needed to be home to, as she put it, "sit on the couch and direct .")
I induced with him and have always blamed the induction for what happened. I've always wondered what would have happened if I hadn't "caved" and chosen induction. He was malpositioned in the birth canal and I truly believed that was why he wouldn't come out (which was due to breaking my water when he was still really high up).
My second son, born last week, had the exact same stats as my first son. They were the same size and honestly even look like clones. I did everything "right." I found a doula, took hypnobirthing, switched providers to a VBAC supportive one, discussed my options every single appointment, never took a single intervention (not even a cervical check). I went into labor naturally and pushed for four hours. He was perfectly positioned and I still could not push him out.
As it would turn out, I have a narrow pelvic arch. No baby was coming out of there. And since DS2 couldn't come out, DS1 (same stats, head size, weight) wouldn't have fit either, even if he was properly positioned. Which, in a weird way, was really healing. Now I know that his birth wasn't my fault.
(And the second c-section was so much better, even though it took longer because they removed a bunch of scar tissue from my uterus and bladder. Recovery has been amazing, my milk came in sooner, my baby was already above his birth weight at 5 days old).
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