Miscarriage story.
Last Saturday, April 9th, I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive. The starting day of my last period was March 6th, so I guessed (based on online research) that I was just about to start my 5th week of pregnancy. I made an appointment with my OB for May 10th. My husband and I told our parents, siblings, grandparents, our best friends, both of my co-workers, and I told a few people online. We told everyone that we were excited and we wanted to share that with them, but otherwise we were keeping the pregnancy quiet until I was in my 2nd trimester. Thinking back, I think what we really meant is that we were keeping it quiet in case something happened.
Although I was extremely excited last week, I also had this sense of foreboding. I'm plagued with constant anxiety, so I tried to ignore my fears, telling myself they were just a result of pre-mature worrying. In addition to the fears about my pregnancy, I was also experiencing a lot of stress because of family issues. Despite my excitement and hopefulness, I just knew that something was going to happen with my pregnancy. Sure enough, I was right.
On Friday, around 12:30 in the afternoon, I started spotting. It was dark brown, and just a very little bit. I called my OB's assistant and she said that if I was miscarrying then there wasn't anything they could do and I should just relax, watch it, and call if I started bleeding. I left work early and went home. I was very upset because I knew what was happening. I tried telling myself it was nothing, but deep down I knew it was.
I got home around 1:30. My husband and I laid down together and took a nap. Around 3:30 I woke up and went to the bathroom and saw that I was bleeding. It was like I was having a period. I was having very mild cramps. They were barely noticeable. I hadn't passed any clots.
I called my OB's assistant and she told me that since they hadn't seen me as a patient yet that I'd have to go to the ER. She told me that if I was miscarrying there wasn't anything they could do to stop it, but I needed to be seen.
We got to the ER around 4:15. It was slow at the time I got there and I was taken back almost right away. I had to provide a urine sample, and I got a little hopeful when I went to the bathroom and saw that I'd stopped bleeding and had gone back to light, brown spotting. The nurses took my blood to check my HCG, and then I had an ultrasound. We saw what I think was the gestational sac on the ultrasound. I can't remember what the radiologist called it and I was still a little upset at the time. When I was done with the ultrasound, a nurse practitioner performed a pelvic exam. She saw a little bit of brown mucus, but she said that my cervix was closed. When my bloodwork came back, my HCG level was low, at 177. In the end they told me that they wanted to follow up on my HCG on Monday, but for the time being they couldn't confirm whether or not I was having a miscarriage. I asked them what I should do if I started bleeding more through the weekend, and the nurse told me that unless I was hemorrhaging or started experiencing back pain or nausea to the point of vomiting that there wasn't much they could do.
We got home at about 8:45 and I decided to go ahead and lay down so that I could relax. I fell asleep soon after.
I woke up at 6:30 this morning with heavy cramps. When I went to the bathroom, I saw that I was bleeding again and I was now passing small clots. I knew what was happening, and although I'd started to emotionally process things the night before I couldn't help but get upset all over again. I spent about 2 hours going in and out of the bathroom. My cramps gradually got worse until they felt like severe menstrual cramping, accompanied by mild nausea. I wasn't in pain necessarily, just extremely uncomfortable. I called the ER and told them what was happening just in case I needed to be seen. I didn't think I'd need to go in because I knew there was nothing they could do, and the nurse confirmed that. I went to the bathroom again after getting off the phone and this time I passed a golf ball sized clot. My cramps felt better almost immediately, though they didn't go away completely.
After taking a little while to cry and process everything, I was able to shower and get dressed. My husband and I had to go and get our taxes done today, and honestly I was happy to have a small diversion for the time being. Since getting our taxes done, we've come back home and relaxed. I'm still having moderate cramps and I'm still passing a few small clots. I've cried off and on through the day. I really wish we hadn't told anybody about the pregnancy, but there's no going back. We've told a few people what's happened, but not everyone. It's taken me almost all day just to type that out. It's been cathartic. I think I needed to go back through what's happened in order to put it behind me. I'll go back to the hospital on Monday for a follow up. I'll ask the doctor or nurse then when we can try to conceive again.
Although I was extremely excited last week, I also had this sense of foreboding. I'm plagued with constant anxiety, so I tried to ignore my fears, telling myself they were just a result of pre-mature worrying. In addition to the fears about my pregnancy, I was also experiencing a lot of stress because of family issues. Despite my excitement and hopefulness, I just knew that something was going to happen with my pregnancy. Sure enough, I was right.
On Friday, around 12:30 in the afternoon, I started spotting. It was dark brown, and just a very little bit. I called my OB's assistant and she said that if I was miscarrying then there wasn't anything they could do and I should just relax, watch it, and call if I started bleeding. I left work early and went home. I was very upset because I knew what was happening. I tried telling myself it was nothing, but deep down I knew it was.
I got home around 1:30. My husband and I laid down together and took a nap. Around 3:30 I woke up and went to the bathroom and saw that I was bleeding. It was like I was having a period. I was having very mild cramps. They were barely noticeable. I hadn't passed any clots.
I called my OB's assistant and she told me that since they hadn't seen me as a patient yet that I'd have to go to the ER. She told me that if I was miscarrying there wasn't anything they could do to stop it, but I needed to be seen.
We got to the ER around 4:15. It was slow at the time I got there and I was taken back almost right away. I had to provide a urine sample, and I got a little hopeful when I went to the bathroom and saw that I'd stopped bleeding and had gone back to light, brown spotting. The nurses took my blood to check my HCG, and then I had an ultrasound. We saw what I think was the gestational sac on the ultrasound. I can't remember what the radiologist called it and I was still a little upset at the time. When I was done with the ultrasound, a nurse practitioner performed a pelvic exam. She saw a little bit of brown mucus, but she said that my cervix was closed. When my bloodwork came back, my HCG level was low, at 177. In the end they told me that they wanted to follow up on my HCG on Monday, but for the time being they couldn't confirm whether or not I was having a miscarriage. I asked them what I should do if I started bleeding more through the weekend, and the nurse told me that unless I was hemorrhaging or started experiencing back pain or nausea to the point of vomiting that there wasn't much they could do.
We got home at about 8:45 and I decided to go ahead and lay down so that I could relax. I fell asleep soon after.
I woke up at 6:30 this morning with heavy cramps. When I went to the bathroom, I saw that I was bleeding again and I was now passing small clots. I knew what was happening, and although I'd started to emotionally process things the night before I couldn't help but get upset all over again. I spent about 2 hours going in and out of the bathroom. My cramps gradually got worse until they felt like severe menstrual cramping, accompanied by mild nausea. I wasn't in pain necessarily, just extremely uncomfortable. I called the ER and told them what was happening just in case I needed to be seen. I didn't think I'd need to go in because I knew there was nothing they could do, and the nurse confirmed that. I went to the bathroom again after getting off the phone and this time I passed a golf ball sized clot. My cramps felt better almost immediately, though they didn't go away completely.
After taking a little while to cry and process everything, I was able to shower and get dressed. My husband and I had to go and get our taxes done today, and honestly I was happy to have a small diversion for the time being. Since getting our taxes done, we've come back home and relaxed. I'm still having moderate cramps and I'm still passing a few small clots. I've cried off and on through the day. I really wish we hadn't told anybody about the pregnancy, but there's no going back. We've told a few people what's happened, but not everyone. It's taken me almost all day just to type that out. It's been cathartic. I think I needed to go back through what's happened in order to put it behind me. I'll go back to the hospital on Monday for a follow up. I'll ask the doctor or nurse then when we can try to conceive again.