Feb 03, 2011 09:04
I'm looking for some hopeful stories of daddy-to-be transformations. My fiance is a great guy and a great partner, but I don't feel like he's excited about the baby even though when I ask him I get a "yeah, sure I am" sort of response. He says he doesn't really feel connected to it yet, it doesn't really feel "real" to him yet, and even though I'm starting to show at 12 weeks, he doesn't rub my belly, or kiss it, or talk to it, or anything like that. I get him to rub body butter on me at night so he can experience the changes in my body along with me, and he does so grudgingly, but if I didn't ask him to one night he certainly wouldn't volunteer. We had a fight because he wasn't going to ask off work to go to the doctor to get the pregnancy confirmed. He went to the first ultrasound and had no reaction whatsoever, while I cried. At the birthing center on Monday, the midwife took 10 minutes to find the baby's heartbeat, and while I was freaking out he was totally unconcerned. The second ultrasound was supposed to be yesterday, but we're having rolling black-outs here and the office didn't have power. They could have gotten me in today, but he couldn't go, so I had to make the choice between going without him and waiting until next week. And that killed me, because at the first ultrasound they pushed me back a week even though I KNOW when I conceived, so I'm worried there's something wrong with the baby and it isn't growing right, and I want to know how it's doing now. But I also feel like he'll never connect to it if he doesn't get to see it moving around in there. But he doesn't care either way - he says I can go without him if I want, but if I want to wait he isn't worried at all about it. It's driving me crazy! And I'm really worried that it isn't going to get any better, and I'm feeling really alone in this. And I'm sure being really exhausted and emotional doesn't help. Please help!
fathers,
bonding