Comments | pregnant: Just needing a place to talk

aggktty in pregnant

Just needing a place to talk

Jan 23, 2011 14:52

About 2 weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant. My husband is still in denial. Anytime I have any pregnancy symptom, he says "Maybe you are really pregnant". I have told him that I want to talk with my sister or my mom about it, but he wants to wait until my first prenatal appointment before we tell immediate family, just to be sure I really am ( Read more... )

fatigue, announcing the pregnancy, fathers

Comments 23

devonrexlvr January 23 2011, 21:13:04 UTC

I would be pissed if I were in your position. Tell him to man up, you two had unprotected sex and you ARE pregnant and he needs to get over his wussyness about being afraid you're pregnant or whatever the heck he's using as an excuse for denial and pick-up the slack. Oh, and not to pull the same bull about not discussing names or plans until really late in this pregnancy.

Well, that's what I would do if it were my husband acting like that.

calesky January 23 2011, 21:49:13 UTC

This. He sounds like a jerk!

missmandym00 January 24 2011, 00:22:34 UTC

ha! I wish LJ had a 'LIKE' button.

Totally agree, id crack it if my husband reacted in this way!

kristi116 January 23 2011, 21:31:53 UTC

Honestly, if you need someone to talk to in person, I'd tell your mom or sister. You're husband obviously isn't much support. If he does get mad that you told someone, you need to tell him you needed support and he wasn't there for you. Does he know the chances of a false positive on a pregnancy test are very, very small? If the HPT is positive, you're pregnant and he needs to get over it.

I would also put yourself first. Obviously take care of your little one, but it won't kill your house to be a mess for a while. Do what you have to to cope. If that means not cooking or cleaning, don't do it. I spent 6 weeks feeling like crap and my house was a wreck, we ate out a lot, and my DD played by herself or watched a lot of tv. It was survival mode. You do what you have to. Maybe it will kick your husband into action if he sees how bad you feel and that it's affecting things.

lukakai January 23 2011, 21:35:07 UTC

I'm 16 weeks tomorrow and my husband is still in denial. :) my husband was a good guy until I was 7ish months pregnant w/ our two year old, briefly redeemed himself when our son was born, & then turned into the biggest asshole.

I told some family (even his mom) about this pregnancy but asked them not to mention it to my husband.

it sucks & I get really upset w/ him sometimes but I'm used to it.

We probably won't be together after a few more years. I am so over his behavior and attitude & I don't think he'll change.

morningapproach January 23 2011, 22:50:36 UTC

*hugs* I am so sorry to hear that. I wish you the best of luck with the new baby.

softrees January 23 2011, 21:36:22 UTC

I told my parents right away when I found out and my mom was in a similar stage of denial about it. She kept saying, "maybe you're not actually pregnant, just wait until you see the doctor." Finally I said, "look if I'm not pregnant, there's something majorly wrong with me because I haven't gotten my period in 6 weeks and if there's not hcg in my urine I have diabetes or some other condition that would make a test come out positive." She's more accepting now anyway.

When my husband is in denial about stuff I usually just start talking to him about I'm feeling about it and he'll start to open up. If that doesn't work it's just a matter of waiting out the phase. I think you should tell your family if you want to though. I told my parents right away because I knew I would tell them anyway if I had a miscarriage.

(PS You should join us over at September2011 !)

cb_radiowhoa January 23 2011, 23:47:01 UTC

I'm so happy you linked that comm. I've been looking for it for a couple weeks now! Thank youu. (I'm 6w1d)

hellokiddie January 23 2011, 21:38:49 UTC

Awe...I can sense your disappointment. If it makes you feel any better, my hubby was the same with both of our kids; totally unemotional. But, once they come out, he us all about them:) hope yours is the same.

aggktty January 25 2011, 02:32:08 UTC

I did spend all of the first pregnancy wondering if DH really wanted a kid. Now that DS is here, it's obvious that my honey is a great dad.

I think it's just hard for him to accept because he's not experiencing it the same way I am. And he doesn't understand my need to plan and prepare, since he'd rather just fly by the seat of his pants when it comes to everything, except home remodels.