Dad's to be

[earthymommy]

My husband suffers from depression. He is not receiving any kind of treatment for this due to his refusal. I have learned how to deal with it over the years. But now we are having a baby boy. This was a planned pregnancy. My husband wants children, but he is absolutely miserable. He is has all the normal new dad worries but to an extreme. I feel like despite his support I am very much in this alone... at least emotionally. The fact that he doesn't seem to have one once of joy about our son who will soon be here is devastating to me. I really thought that he would at least smile from time to time regarding something to do with the baby but he hasn't. It breaks my heart. I thought that maybe as the due date approached that maybe it would seem more real to him and there might be a little excitement on his part... but there hasn't. He is actively involved and in planning and preparing for the baby. He doesn't ever do this in a grudging kind of way, just never in a happy way... always a stressed and worried way. Maybe it was unrealistic to think that expanding our family would bring him some joy. It makes me so sad to think that he might be able to look at our son once he is here and not feel joy. I worry that it will have a strong negative impact on him growing up. The baby is not unloved or unwanted by any stretch, but still shouldn't a baby bring joy. I am a very happy, upbeat, positive person. My family is that way too. Most people that he will be surrounded by will be ecstatic about his existence. But what if my husband can never feel that way.

I working on setting up the baby's room and it brought me to tears because as I stood there hanging an adorable outfit that my mom bought for the baby, thoughts of my soon-to-be-here son made me smile. Which then made me heartbreakingly sad thinking about the fact that my husband doesn't have a similar reaction.

Has anyone else been through this?