Chapter 2: Come At Me Bro
Last time I talked to y'all, this was what our glorious new Republic looked like. We were small but we could stand up against the dictator from the south. But we Texans are not complacent. Our brothers in Mexico will not be repressed any longer by the foul Santa Anna. Freeing others is what we do best!
We need an actual army to do that so we swoop down and conscript some young men into soldiers. They'll take to their new job with gusto!
At the request of some, we decided to further our relationship with our brothers to the North. Europe has no place in our country. Their meddling colonialist attitude has ruined enough things! Texas refuses to fight another war for European ambitions. America, seeing our independent attitude, agreed to recognize us as a sovereign country. No longer will our people be encroached upon.
To lead our newly recruited soldiers, General Travis decided to come out of retirement after our last war with Mexico. Despite only being 26 years old, he's a man of great ingenuity...even if he looks like a dagnabbed grandpa.
I have never heard of this guy but he apparently thinks Texas is a great place so LET HIM IN! If he can spread the word about everything great about this country, then so be it.
After a three day long party with Washington officials, they said they'd be by our side through thick and thin. After the next mornin', they didn't seem to remember any of it but that's okay. We got their names signed on paper so we'll sue them if they break it.
With our army finally built and the navy done, someone came and asked me about some guys named Jommny and Clazwitz. We don't give our army fancy names...especially if they're European. So I just picked Jommny to get him to shut up. Then he went on about being a hero or having a better crew but everyone wants heroes. I picked that one, of course.
After he left us alone, me and Travis could start our secret plan. There were savages out in the world that needed freedom from oppressors like Mexico so we offered to send our army to help. Some aristocrat guy came to us begging for help so we couldn't just turn him down. What was the name of where he was from again?
Oh, right. Haywhyee.
On our way there, we captured some ship called the Little Penn. The Brits on board complained but they also had a bad habit of makin' other sailors work for them. So in exchange for a bit of booze, we decided to show them the meaning of freedom and let'em go. It's only fair since we're Texas after all.
Real quick-like, we sent in a boat to the Haywhyan king and told him he was a foul oppressor of people and we were there to free them. Somehow, news slipped out of our little venture and some natives got uppity, claiming we were just gonna kill more natives. That little spat didn't turn out so well but we had things to do. We couldn't stop for a little complaining.
Our men fought the natives handily and were victorious. The Haywhyan king was no match for our General Austin and we captured Hawaii. We brought pineapples back home to Texas and found that they cured constipation real good. We'll be makin' good use of our new island state, let me tell you.
Some Texans were pretty insistent on askin' Europe for help for our country but we didn't need them. One of our senators got up and beat the guys out of the room with their canes. We weren't going to hear about any European heresy in our own lawmaking house.
There were more! Hearing that there was fighting going on in the south of the gulf, our Mexican population rallied at the Senate and petitioned to let them into our Republic. Seeing the widespread support, President Lamar could only smile and tell them Texas would do what we could. He sure didn't lie either. The legislature in those two states voted to join Texas. Yes, our country was growing stronger. We thought Mexico wouldn't take this layin' down but they did. Guess Santa Anna was havin' trouble in his own capital.
The Mexican army that was stationed in the Youcatan was still fought on in rebellion but this was our territory. No one was takin' it from us. So we sent our army down there to handle them all appropriate like.
Turns out our army weren't so good at mountain fightin'. We had to ship down even more men to get a handle on the situation. The last battle was a huge drain on our men and they swore they would never try to live in this kind of forsaken, humid, forest.
Glorious Texas still prevailed and victory over our enemies was assured. When we had been a small collection of counties, we were now practically doubled in land mass and population. The Texas Republic will continue to reign supreme!
We also got some research completed. Scientists tell me that soon, we'll have these things called railroads runnin' through our country. We're pretty excited and focusin' hard on making that a reality!
So we've accomplished some of our short term goals. What next?