[anotp: guinevere] i long to feel some beauty in my heart
He thinks about Guinevere the whole day. Not just her, though - Jess and Madison and Sarah - all the other girls he's tried with before. Ruby. Meg. He probably has to include them too, much as he would rather not. All disasters, except for Sarah, maybe, and that's probably because he never got too close. Stayed at a distance. (Lucky her.)
He doesn't want to ruin this. Not this sweet and fragile thing that's almost like a friendship, something he lost a while ago and forgot how to make, and something like maybe something else that he's refusing to name. Because letting it happen will ruin everything. He knows it.
It's a curse, of course it is. Or something, anyway. Just like the inability of the Winchester family to stay dead. Well, their dad's managed it so far. (He would.)
Guinevere, though. He would like...no, not going that direction. It's not possible. It just isn't.
Just once, Sam wishes he could be stupid and have it end well, but he knows that isn't how it works.
It's just a meeting, though, right? He assures himself, as he goes looking for her, wondering how she'd feel about...something. A walk? He realizes he doesn't even know what to do with a girl around here. Or anywhere, really. Just a meeting. Sure.
He's got butterflies in his stomach, or something. Wow. That's...that'd be funny, if this whole thing weren't so terrifying.
He doesn't want to ruin this. Not this sweet and fragile thing that's almost like a friendship, something he lost a while ago and forgot how to make, and something like maybe something else that he's refusing to name. Because letting it happen will ruin everything. He knows it.
It's a curse, of course it is. Or something, anyway. Just like the inability of the Winchester family to stay dead. Well, their dad's managed it so far. (He would.)
Guinevere, though. He would like...no, not going that direction. It's not possible. It just isn't.
Just once, Sam wishes he could be stupid and have it end well, but he knows that isn't how it works.
It's just a meeting, though, right? He assures himself, as he goes looking for her, wondering how she'd feel about...something. A walk? He realizes he doesn't even know what to do with a girl around here. Or anywhere, really. Just a meeting. Sure.
He's got butterflies in his stomach, or something. Wow. That's...that'd be funny, if this whole thing weren't so terrifying.