A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you
Chapter 2b
Rating: PG
Pairing: Homin
Summary: Changmin had a bad childhood memories, he never believe in love. Though he together with yunho for three years, he never said he love him. One night, he cheated on yunho, things getting worse and they decide to break up. He blamed his past for losing faith of love, the surprised part is when changmin learn the truth that he can’t live without yunho.
Genre : Romance kinda angst but it’s happy ending fic
Picture credit: Orig Owner
Four years later
Changmin fell asleep in tears once again. The alarm clock rang and he pushed himself to the shower. All he wanted to do was stay in bed, but he can’t do that. His friends will call him, asking what’s wrong if he didn’t go to work. And he can’t say the reason or find anymore lie to cover the pain he has right now. Just the thought of the words causes a catch in his throat burns like fire, and his eyes once again will fill with tears though changmin not sure if anymore tears left within him.
He put his head against the wall, the cold water pouring his head.
“Yunho…yunho..” The tears once again running down on his face.
“I miss your smell, your laugh. I miss your voice. Now you’re gone, I have no one standing beside me now. Please forgive me, please come back to me”
Changmin will always remember the moment they were together and realize he still can’t forget the man he loved even after years passed. Now he had to face the reality that the man he once love, marry the other girl.
It’s karma.
He used to be the one who broke someone’s heart. And now he was the one who had broken heart. The difference is, they might cry a little but they will quickly forget changmin and find someone new. But for changmin, he can’t imagine ever wanting to find someone new. No one can make him feel the way yunho made him feel.
He just need to keep going, he just need to through another day. He just needs to go to work and working on his report. Yes, he just needs to keep pretending that everything is fine. No one can see him broken like this. He just need to acting cool, like he used to be.
And maybe.. maybe the pain would finally be gone.
I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg I remember you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead
Nothing compares
No worries or cares Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known
how bittersweet this would taste?
Adele - Someone like you
Here I’m watching you.. standing there to make promise forever
I should be the one there
I should be the one who saying promise with you in the altar
I always thought our love will last forever
But I was wrong
You’ll never be mine
I thought that you loved me
I keep believing in your promise, saying that you’ll loved me forever
But in the end I’m just a fool to believe you
Why did you do this to me?
Why did you betray me yunho?
Do I still have place in your heart yunho
I always love you
Your smile
Your laugh
You make me strong
I give you all I have
My heart, my soul, my body they were yours
Because I love you so much
But now you hurt me
The day never been so hard until you walked away and say good bye I keep blaming myself for never be good enough for you
You chose another to be with you
You’re standing there, with her beside you
You’re smiling..
Why does that smile hurting me right now?
Why looking at you make me can’t breathe?
Seeing you it kills me now
I’m broken into pieces
You'll never know how much it hurt
“Changmin..” a voice startled him. “Thank you for coming”
Changmin cleared his dry throat “I..it’s my pleasure to be invited here..” He smiled bitterly.
“I..” yunho doesn’t now what he supposed to say “I’m sorry changmin”
Changmin shook his head “Nothing to be sorry”
Yunho looking at him for the longest time, guilt, is the one he feel right now.
"Wish me happiness changmin" the man requested.
"I have wished you happinnes since the first time I saw you yunho" he declared in a voice that almost cracking.
You looked so happy
And I don’t want to make you sad
So I won’t crying
I will keep this pain only for me
So no one will realize how great this pain
I forgive you yunho
For everything you’ve done to me
And I wished you happiness..
with her
I used to say "I love you"
But that the only words I couldn’t say
You’re right yunho
Sometimes goodbye can be the right thing
To ease the pain and move on
But sometimes..
I’m hoping
Maybe we can still together until now
If only.. if only..
One Year Later
He hadn’t heard from yunho, his thoughts were often drifting in and out of his mind without warning and disappears. And it crushed him once again when he heard that yunho’s wife, Jihyun, died when she giving birth, the baby died along with her mother.
His wife’s funeral was the worst day of his life, changmin come to the funeral but yunho didn’t notice him. Changmin can see how dulled yunho looks but the man stayed stronger in front of everyone. Sympathetic faces of people can’t comprehend the pain of yunho. Sometimes there was a moment when yunho dreams that his wife was still alive. Always pass the day with wide smile when she’s welcoming him home.
Changmin was standing there, face to face with yunho. The other already left the funeral. His parents left both of them when they know both men need more space to talk privately.
“I’m sorry for your loss” They hugging each other for comfort.
“Thanks..” is all yunho can say. Yunho felt so empty inside, he didn’t know how to feel after his wife’s dead. “Thank you for coming. Right now is the hardest time for me”
Changmin stood in silence, body shaking when he cursed himself not to cry witnessing the pain in yunho’s eyes. All he wanted to do just hug this man and comfort him. He was serious when he said that he want the best for yunho, he just wished the man he loved happy. “A-anytime you need me yunho, just call me and I’ll be there for you”
They stand side by side, yunho keep looking at his wife grave. Changmin turn his head to see the man, he see the tears in yunho’s eyes. He grip yunho hand, assured him that everything is gonna be fine.
Seven months later
The knock at the door startled him, well yunho was not expecting any visitors when he so damn busy moving his things in his new apartment. He decided sold the house he lived with his wife, to many memories with her and stayed any longer there just remind him how much he missed her.
Yunho rising up from his chair, he walked to open the door. Changmin stood there, his face wearing a shy smile. “H-hi..” he told him. They just gazed at each other. Changmin looking at the man in front of him and blushed like a school girl.
Yunho is so handsome, he can tell that he lost his weight but he added more muscles and -more attractive than the last time changmin met him in funeral. They gazed for a minute or so before either of them spoke.
Yunho smiled at him and broke the silence “Hi..come in” changmin step inside.
“You look good” Yunho told him.
“And you look tired”
“Can’t help, moving exhausting me. I think I’m getting old”
“Don’t worry, I’m here for rescue” yunho laughed.
“Coffe ?”
“Tea if you don’t mind..” yunho walk to the kitchen and minutes later he back with cup of tea and another coffee for himself on the table then he sit at the other end of the sofa.
They started talking about yunho’s plans for the future after he decided to move back to Seoul. He’s planning to open his own coffee shop. It had been difficult at times after the loss of his wife and his never born baby. The journey can be rough. But with changmin stay by his side, give him full support and promise to be there for helping him, make yunho confidence to start his new life.
There is a little silence between them, "Do you date someone right now?"
"What?” Changmin nearly dropped his tea at the very words he heard from yunho. Looking at his face, changmin know that yunho is serious with his question “N-no, I don’t date someone right now..”
"Why..?" Yunho asked him again, his voice more like a whispered.
Changmin licked his lower lip, he took deep breath and start his words again “Because.. I can’t forget you, no one can make me feel the way you make me feel”
Yunho just staring at him, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
He put the cup back to the table and continue “That day, when we apart, I felt my life crushing down, it makes me lost the reason to live. That’s why after that i came to Gwangju to see you, to give me second chance” Changmin avoid to look at yunho, he keep staring at the floor, his body can’t stop shaking ”I -I know I hurts you yunho, and at that time if you accept to come back with you, I still afraid that if we back together again one day i’ll hurt you again.”
The tears already falling from his eyes, changmin wipe it with his back hand “I just want you to be happy yunho, please don’t think that I took chances to get you back after your wife passed away.”
“Changmin..”
“You deserve someone who will love you.. and it will never be me”
Changmin get up from his seat and about to walk away when yunho suddenly grabbed his arm and hugged him. Changmin buried his face in yunho’s shoulder. “When you saying it, it sounds like you regretting all the time we had. Do you regret us min-ah?”
Changmin shook his head “No-never” and he keep crying.
“I love you changmin, I really love you, even until now. Sometimes I feel guilty for Jihyun because I have two persons in my heart”
Yunho cupped his cheek and kissed his eyelids “I’m still mourning for losing my wife and child, and I don’t know when will I be ready to open my heart again.”
Yunho was bending down slightly and rested his forehead against changmin’s “Will you wait for me changmin?” He wrapped one of his arms around changmin’s waist and pulled him closer.
They looked each other in the eyes to say anything. But no words spoken, then yunho leaned in, brushing his lips against changmin. Give him tender kiss.
Changmin smiled into the kiss at the innocence and tenderness behind it.
“I will wait for you yunho, even if it takes hundred years”
Happiness is wherever you felt loved with someone you cherish the most
To be driven apart from one another would be like having your soul torn out of you
You would become emotionless, cold, and uncaring for your surrounding
But when two people are so firmly connected with one another
It would have made life a whole lot easier
Because love, is the powerful feeling to make people stronger to go through the pain in their life
Anonymous
~FIN~
Thank you for everyone who waiting patiently for this story and give me courage comment, you never know how precious your comment for me :) Btw I wrote drabble before (Changmin POV when yunho held his wedding) and I can’t help but added in here too lol