to amy cochran:
have you ever felt so sick to your stomach over a friendship gone bad? have you ever felt like your best friend just ripped your heart out, tore it to pieces, threw it on the ground, and then stomped on it? have you ever felt like that friend really couldnt give a damn about the pain they've put you through, no matter how much you've tried to help them out? have you ever felt completely and utterly helpless in a situation? have you ever just wanted to say fuck you to that person and walk away and not care? i have
it hurts so god damn fucking bad. it's so sad that im letting this person get to me so much and i dont know why i am, probably cause i love them that much and care about them that much. no matter what they've done to me, i still dont talk bad about them. example i talked to terri today in ap stat class and it really was great because we understood each other finally and we talked about her calling that captain a racist. it actually was quite funning because i just sat there and looked at her and said sorry babe, you got the wrong captain mixed up in that racist comment and she was like oh i know she is. but thats besides the point.
i work the arena with mrs penny all the time, what the fuck am i supposed to tell her if she asks me why i quit? lie to her? what if she asks me how come i havent been around (not that she would, just a what if?) what do i say to her?
i am just torn up inside every time i see her knowing that she's all happy and having the time of her life while still knowing in the back of her head what she's done to me. i stood up for you! i lied for you! i had my parents pay you to stay in my house for two weeks. i was there when you would cry night after night about people, about your life. i was there at camp when you had the worst stomach aches from stress. i did everything in my power to be the best friend that i could be and i guess it all just went straight past you without even a single glance at it.
so amy danielle cochran thank you. the worst part about all this is im not mad at you, im sad at the person you turned out to be and hurt by the way you treated me and yet i still stand up for you.
it hurts so god damn fucking bad. it's so sad that im letting this person get to me so much and i dont know why i am, probably cause i love them that much and care about them that much. no matter what they've done to me, i still dont talk bad about them. example i talked to terri today in ap stat class and it really was great because we understood each other finally and we talked about her calling that captain a racist. it actually was quite funning because i just sat there and looked at her and said sorry babe, you got the wrong captain mixed up in that racist comment and she was like oh i know she is. but thats besides the point.
i work the arena with mrs penny all the time, what the fuck am i supposed to tell her if she asks me why i quit? lie to her? what if she asks me how come i havent been around (not that she would, just a what if?) what do i say to her?
i am just torn up inside every time i see her knowing that she's all happy and having the time of her life while still knowing in the back of her head what she's done to me. i stood up for you! i lied for you! i had my parents pay you to stay in my house for two weeks. i was there when you would cry night after night about people, about your life. i was there at camp when you had the worst stomach aches from stress. i did everything in my power to be the best friend that i could be and i guess it all just went straight past you without even a single glance at it.
so amy danielle cochran thank you. the worst part about all this is im not mad at you, im sad at the person you turned out to be and hurt by the way you treated me and yet i still stand up for you.