today i removed my burger king crown
today i feel like im dying with this stigma
of failure....
a lot of twisting in my stomach
due to my thoughts
i feel at faults for a lot of the things that are occuring
with in my education
so i feel the need to take more than 5 classes
i dont want to fail
ive recently lost my employment at alaskan airlines before i could of recieved my training
i still work at my aunt's video and im still fighting for my union even thought i know that they are robbing me of my dignity....but im still waiting for results
at this point love is something that's not in my vocabulary
for the simple fact that it isnt existant for myself that is
but im working on things...im working really hard
even though god forbid i might die some day...im still working on things i know those are grim and morbid words but that's my reality folks..i can recall how much it felt to love some one but its seems so artifical now...nothing i can do for anyone can satisfy myself or anyone...now that im turning twenty one on tue (2/10) i feel like its another sentence another year of lies....such chaotic themes...i know i am a miserable person...at times i wished i didnt have such great friends because of my problems with my own sanity...i dont really deserve them at all...i only display so much for them...but sadly i think all of my friends will only know me for my consistant faults that overwhelm me...fading away is just so damn hard to do because of what my friends give me..
its so hard to find joy...its so hard to find clarity...i can only try and try until one day my heart fails..
life has its funny way of giving you your character
so i depart for now
but anywho i wish myself a happy birthday...and hopefully a better year
adios for now
of failure....
a lot of twisting in my stomach
due to my thoughts
i feel at faults for a lot of the things that are occuring
with in my education
so i feel the need to take more than 5 classes
i dont want to fail
ive recently lost my employment at alaskan airlines before i could of recieved my training
i still work at my aunt's video and im still fighting for my union even thought i know that they are robbing me of my dignity....but im still waiting for results
at this point love is something that's not in my vocabulary
for the simple fact that it isnt existant for myself that is
but im working on things...im working really hard
even though god forbid i might die some day...im still working on things i know those are grim and morbid words but that's my reality folks..i can recall how much it felt to love some one but its seems so artifical now...nothing i can do for anyone can satisfy myself or anyone...now that im turning twenty one on tue (2/10) i feel like its another sentence another year of lies....such chaotic themes...i know i am a miserable person...at times i wished i didnt have such great friends because of my problems with my own sanity...i dont really deserve them at all...i only display so much for them...but sadly i think all of my friends will only know me for my consistant faults that overwhelm me...fading away is just so damn hard to do because of what my friends give me..
its so hard to find joy...its so hard to find clarity...i can only try and try until one day my heart fails..
life has its funny way of giving you your character
so i depart for now
but anywho i wish myself a happy birthday...and hopefully a better year
adios for now